In which the pond wraps up the weekend reading with Overington's average Australian and a frenzied Devine ...

There's a wealth of reptile reading the pond has failed to tackle this weekend - Lomborgian delights, Arndt saving men yet again, shocking purges, and then there's the happy notion that Barners will ride in from Tamworth to save the day, a genuine saviour ...

Now the delusions of the oscillating fan always entrance the pond, but at the same time, this weekend someone tried to explain to the pond that Caroline Overington was one of the more sensible reptiles (even though sensible and reptile should never be merged in the one sentence).

So the pond checked out the splash ... it was, after all, another way that the pond could, without being drug-tested, waste a Sunday morning reading about the Donald's fascist antics ...

The header wasn't promising. It was hardly a stunning insight. With a small payment to the Godwin's Law swear jar, the pond was allowed to observe that even Australians would vote for an Adolf Hitler or a Mussolini, or a Pauline Hanson ...

But the pond plunged in all the same ...

The lasting impression of this exposition of the average Australian?

It seems the average woman, by definition, isn't able to be the average Australian. It was like spending a little time with an average angry Sydney Anglican talking about the difficulties of complimentary women ...

The Average Australian, it seems, is a worrier, and a thinker, and aggrieved, and thinks of himself as a generous individual, and doesn't care what anyone does in the bedroom, and has an ugly heart, but doesn't, but above all, the Average Australian is a he, him, himself ...

When discussing the Average Australian, there's not a her, she, herself in sight ...

How hard would it have been for Overington to be inclusive in her stereotypes, banalities, and cliches?

The rest of the piece is a bit of Trump bashing, of the predictable kind, but as Overington had managed her own form of Trumpist masculinism, that was the end of the Overington experiment for the pond ...

Never mind, over the road at the Sunday Terrorist, things were cooking ...

Yes, Malware, you see how it's done.

Be kind to the onion muncher, encourage his BBQ skills and everyone, led by Peta, will be kind to you ...

The pond almost wept at the delight of seeing the onion muncher restored and the centre of attention. Henceforth it will be known as BBQ diplomacy, up there with 乒乓外交 Pīngpāng wàijiāo.

And to top it all off, there was the Devine, surging into one of her finest, frothing, frenzied, foam-flecked rages ...

Naturally, the pond was seriously alarmed. The fiends, the inhuman fiends ... 

How dare they call thousands of dead dogs 'wastage'? The fiends, the inhuman fiends. 

All the dogs were recycled in one way or another, and as for rabbits and other live bait, who on earth could imagine that they had any sense of pain?

Why the wretched RSPCA butchers so many creatures themselves, and it should be understood that this has nothing to do with careless adults not giving a flying fuck about their pets and dumping them like rubbish on the streets, or other uncaring adults not giving a toss to save them ... no, it's because the RSPCA enjoys the mass slaughter of animals.

That's how kinky these devious kinky animal activists are, with all their talk about love and caring for animals. Hypocrisy much?

Why that's a bit like your head of a concentration camp talking of love for the inmates (oh and there's another dollar for the Godwin's Law swear jar).

Now let us not worry about bizarre Devine contradictions in logic. It's enough that the hypocrites indulge in mass slaughter without a nanosecond's thought as to why there's a surplus of creatures out on the streets ...

That's what the pond expects from the Devine's expertise in quantum maths. 

Let us ask instead how inhuman are these fiends?

The pond reeled away. Mass animal murderers, yet dangerously radicalised ... but wait, there's more shock and horror ...

Mass murderers and an ideological militia!!

This cannot stand. The average Australian man will insist on the right to slaughter animals and the average Australian woman can just go join the Cat Society lurking up on Enmore Road ...

And now the pond can congratulate the RSPCA. 

Instead of being slimed in Ghostbusters III, with its outrageous suggestion that women might bust ghosts, you've been Devined ... wear the fragrant perfume with pride ... oh and keep up the mass slaughter of animals. It's the Devine Australian way ...