In which the pond can't resist imbibing Caterist tears and Mein Gott visions in a late arvo slot ...

 

Crisis time for the pond. 

Should the pond sup deeply of late-breaking Caterist tears in a late arvo post, or should the pond hold off, and make them a special morning treat?

It was the deployment of "post-truth" that made the pond break, and while it's not an exact parallel, think of a Tamworth stud eager to enjoy a happy ending. 

Let the devil take care of the 'morrow, the pond wanted it all now ...

What's more the pond could throw in a Mein Gott as a bonus on the very same day, and Mein Gott had moved beyond the delusional to the barking mad. 

What's not to like?

Let the Caterist show the way to essence of comedy stylings ...

The header: Labor, teal lies fitting for our first post-truth election, Welcome to Australia’s first fully fledged post-truth election campaign, where hypocrisy and deception are assets, not liabilities.

The caption: Independent candidate for Dickson Ellie Smith says she was begged by the community to run against Opposition Leader Peter Dutton. Picture: Steve Pohlner

The mystical injunction: This article contains features which are only available in the web version, Take me there

Sure, the reptiles clocked at a five minute read, a heavy burden at any time, but especially for those who think an arvo nap is preferable to a wander through the reptile hive mind, but the pond was up for the challenge ...

Ellie Smith claims she is challenging Peter Dutton for the seat of Dickson after being “begged” by the local community.
She said she was persuaded to run in December by members of an organisation called Dickson Decides that had been searching for an independent candidate for six months.
“I don’t see myself as a teal,” she told journalists. “Maroon is our colour. Teal is a construct of the media.”
Dickson Decides Pty Ltd is a construct of Eleanor Smith and Christina Cornford, the directors under whose names the company was registered with ASIC on July 30, 2024.
Smith’s campaign is bankrolled in part by Climate 200, the donation-washing outfit led by teal mastermind Simon Holmes a Court.

Naturally this sent the Caterist right off, compounded by the reptiles deciding to run a snap of that man ... Simon Holmes a Court’s Climate 200 partially funds Ms Smith’s campaign. Picture: Martin Ollman

The Caterist frenzy resulted in a classic rant, beginning with a classic opening thrust...

Welcome to Australia’s first fully fledged post-truth election campaign, where hypocrisy and deception are assets, not liabilities.

This from a man who lied relentlessly in an expensively defamatory way about the movement of floodwaters in quarries, and who has consistently lied about, or been too blind to see, the harsh realities of climate science.

The pond could have stopped there, and it would still have taken a considerable time for the pond to stop rolling about on the floor in a laughing fit.

What made it all the more astonishing is that this congenital liar and distorter of truth dared to invoke Colbert...

A claim doesn’t need verification; it just needs to sound plausible, like “truthiness”, a term coined by comedian Stephen Colbert for what seems true to a partisan audience.

Partisan audience? Oh sainted aunts, roll the Jaffas down the aisles of the hive mind.

And then without a hint of shamelessness or a sense of irony, the Caterist followed up with ...

Anthony Albanese has adapted to the post-truth environment with ease.

Every line was a joke, too many to note, enjoy them how you will ...

If the facts don’t fit his narrative, he simply makes new ones up. He insists, for example, that Tony Abbott slashed $80bn from health and education in 2014. “The 2014 budget described it as a cut,” the PM told Nine viewers. “$50bn in health and $30bn in education.”
Health spending in 2014-15 rose by 2.7 per cent; education spending grew by 5 per cent. The only cuts worth noting in the 2014 budget papers were a 1.5 per cent reduction in company tax and the axing of the carbon tax.
In a post-truth world, however, evidence is accepted or dismissed not on its merits but on its usefulness to the narrative.
Political priorities are readjusted accordingly.
Hence an isolated example of disrespectful behaviour at an Anzac Day ceremony in Melbourne is quickly inflated into a far-right, neo-Nazi uprising, while a Chinese live-fire exercise off the NSW coast is dismissed as routine.

Of course it all springs from that ominous sense of dread that has haunted the reptiles these past few weeks, as they have anxiety attack after attack, all produced by contemplating this man, Anthony Albanese doesn’t pretend to seek a mandate to address national challenges. Picture: Getty Images

That snap sent the Caterist into a further oscillating frenzy ...

Two accidental surpluses, driven by fluctuating commodity prices, are proclaimed as a fiscal triumph, while challenges from tanking productivity, declining investment and faltering energy production are ignored.
The Prime Minister does not pretend to seek a mandate to address genuine national challenges. Labor’s platform is little more than a list of slogans and electoral bribes.
Medicare, Albanese declared, would be “the beating heart” of his campaign, with a promised 18 million extra bulk-billed GP visits a year. Yet Albanese did not strengthen Medicare in government. GP bulk-billing rates fell from 84 to 77 per cent, forcing patients to hand over their credit cards on about 15 million more occasions.
Far from “stripping away billions” from Medicare rebates, as Albanese claims, the Coalition increased payments for medical services from $25.3bn to $37.6bn over nine years, a 15 per cent rise above inflation.

It's just not fair, and what of the Caterist's apparently cratering hero? 

Oh there's a saucy snap... Opposition Leader Peter Dutton is joined by wife Kirilly Dutton in the seat of Mackellar in Sydney on Sunday. Picture: Getty Images

... but it's all post-modern, a shocking contest of narratives ...

Won't someone think of Burke? (Forget Wills)

Won't somebody do something to help out the struggling Duttonator?

Why is life like this?

Yet Peter Dutton has struggled to rebut Albanese’s false claims. He has received precious little help from journalists, who show no inclination to challenge Albanese using readily available facts.
The journalist’s role is no longer the dogged pursuit of objective truth, a task that could once be performed by a school leaver armed with practical intelligence and a sharpened pencil.
Today’s journalists carry the scars of misspent years at university writing essays on the role of language and discourse in constructing meaning and power. They are no longer members of Edmund Burke’s fourth estate, charged with holding authorities to account. They are the fifth estate, whose job is to promote social change and create a more just and equitable world.
Together these postmodern forces in politics and journalism mark a profound shift. The old contest of policies and ideas has given way to a “contest of narratives”.
Spin and emotional appeals are nothing new. Political strategists have recognised since the 1990s that storytelling, image and repetition can outweigh policy detail come election time.
However, this election is exceptional for the near-eclipse of objective truth by tribal logic and activist framing. Complex problems are reduced to moral absolutes. Voters are presented with a choice between righteousness and complicity; emotional urgency replaces rational persuasion.
In 21st century politics, truth is secondary to group solidarity. If a statement advances “our side” and harms “theirs”, it is accepted without scrutiny.

And there you have it, a reptile locked behind a paywall blathering about group solidarity while stuck in a hive mind that exudes solidarity, and rarely gives a fig about truth. 

The reptiles provoked the Caterist again, Wentworth MP Allegra Spender claims she was sent by her community to represent them in parliament. Picture: Thomas Lisson

It was simply too much for the Caterist, apparently even worse than having to endure Clive's scattershot ads on YouTube featuring some demonic wild-eyed blonde ...

Opponents are not merely wrong but immoral or illegitimate. Alarming reports of intimidation and violence at election stations should come as no surprise. When elections are framed as battles between good and evil, temperatures are bound to run hot.
The teal movement is a post-truth creation, built on a foundation of lies. It is anything but the loose alignment of grassroots-led community independents it pretends to be. It is an anti-democratic force, hostage to the vested interests on which it depends.
Teal MP Allegra Spender claimed in her maiden speech: “I am here because my community, Wentworth, sent me here to represent their values in parliament.”
Yet she was preselected by Daniel and Lyndell Droga, major players in a group called Wentworth Independent and long-time supporters of GetUp, which thanked the couple for their support in 2010.
They were assisted by Blair Palese, a climate activist, Israel critic, and co-founder of 350.org Australia. The extent to which an astroturf movement like Wentworth Independent represents Wentworth’s true community values is debatable.
The teals have turned hypocrisy from vice to virtue. They demand greater transparency and an end to moneyed influence in politics, yet rail against legislation to cap electoral spending. They allege dark conspiracies about fossil fuel companies, but they fail to acknowledge that the teal movement is effectively the political wing of the renewable energy industry.

Ah, climate science, and a deep love of ethnic cleansing. 

What to do, oh what to do? Simple, climb into a time machine and head back into the 1950s, to suck on pacifier and snap... Liberal Party founder Robert Menzies would have been aghast by modern politics.

Actually Ming knew a trick or two about lying and dissembling and lopping off rivals so he could stay in power, but enough already as the Caterist sobbed into his tea cup about how people just didn't understand what an excellent idea it was to nuke the country to save the planet, although climate science was a false religion promoted by mad climate activists ...

The public’s tolerance for political fakery will be tested this weekend. On its record alone, Labor would have no hope of re-election. Yet the dollar figure most discussed in this campaign is not the $275 a year Albanese hasn’t taken off our annual electricity bills, or the cost of his renewables-only energy plan, the modelling for which was ditched after proving unreliable.
Instead, the campaign’s most quoted figure is the $600bn fantasy used to discredit the Coalition’s nuclear plan. The actual cost will be a fraction of that, invested over decades, not years, and as capital expenditure, not deducted from recurrent budgets for health or education any more than road building would be.
We can be sure the Liberal Party’s founder, Robert Menzies, would’ve been aghast at this style of politics.
“The business of political warfare is not to destroy your opponent, but to defeat him,” he said in his 1958 speech, The Art of Politics.
He was writing at a time when whatever their differences, politicians could at least agree on the basic facts.
On Saturday, we will find out if such noble principles still hold.

Yeah, just the basic Sgt Joe Friday facts ma'am, like the basic Joe movement of flood waters in quarries.

And there you have it, and the pond doesn't regret savouring the Caterist. 

It was like dropping into the Messina in Smith street and gorging on a raspberry sorbet ...

And so to the bonus, with Mein Gott briefly at the top of the extreme far right column this day ...

What a grand delusion.

Somehow plucky Australasia could stick it to the Chinese and save the Donald, and never mind the grim news of the 100 days polling spree, which suggest he'll need more than a Mein Gott bright idea ...

Search for them as you will, but never mind King Donald, Mein Gott is here to deliver salvation in a four minute read - so the reptiles say - titled Australia can help Trump fight Chinese stranglehold on rare earths, Whoever is elected Prime Minister of Australia on May 3 will be able to deliver Donald Trump with potentially the best news the US President has received since his inauguration.

Talk about the bestest ever news, and the bestest ever illustrations, Our Prime Minister could tell Trump that within three to six months Australia might just be able to diminish his terbium and dysprosium problem. Picture: Evan Vucci)

What a grand vision it was, how easily Mein Gott sorted everything out ...

The person who is elected Prime Minister of Australia on May 3 will be able to deliver Donald Trump with potentially the best news the US President has received since his inauguration.
Donald Trump went into a tariff war with China looking to gain a better trade deal apparently not realising that the Chinese President had America in a strangle hold because Xi Jinping monopolised America’s supply of terbium and dysprosium plus other heavy rare earths.
America’s defence, heavy industry, communications and any operation that requires heavy magnets and radar protection cannot function without these rare earths.
Trump knows his back is to the wall and his position is not made any better by the fact that American consumer sentiment is close to a record low and inflation expectations have climbed to their highest since 1981.
What our Prime Minister can tell Trump is that within three to six months Australia might just be able to diminish his terbium and dysprosium problem. The Prime Minister will need to emphasise that there is still drilling and processing and recovery testing needed, but given the urgency it can be fast tracked.
Given there has been limited press reporting of the discovery, President Trump may not be aware that our Prime Minister is the only world leader who might be able to relieve China’s stranglehold on the US. At this stage a desperate Trump is crushing fluorescent globes to extract terbium.
After the congratulatory pleasantries, a theoretical conversation might go this way.

At this very point, Mein Gott embarked on a kind of fantasy too rich for ordinary sci fi, more epic high fantasy ... and it was beyond the valley of the delicious, wherein he showed off his incredible skills as a dramatist ...

Australian PM: “Mr. President, I understand that you are desperate for heavy rare earths like terbium and dysprosium. It looks as though we may have discovered the biggest rare earth deposit in the world outside of China.
“It’s an amazing story, although the deposit is owned by a small Australian company called Haoma, for nearly 20 years our largest miner, BHP, in joint venture, undertook significant drilling searching for gold on the Haoma leases.
“No one knew anything about terbium so BHP walked away but Haoma stored all the cores in their disused underground gold mine. Recent testing has yielded amazing terbium results.”
Trump: “How quickly can you get me the terbium? I don’t want to put places like Times Square into darkness,”
President Donald Trump appears to have softened his tone on China, but Beijing’s message remains that it will not negotiate under duress and is prepared to fight to the end.
Australian PM: “Some 80 per cent of Haoma is owned by the Morgan family which operates Australia’s largest opinion poll group. I spoke to Gary Morgan last night and he says normally defining the Haoma’s Pilbara rare earth deposits and further upgrading the Bamboo Creek plant would take at least a year and possibly longer. I told him your need was urgent. If all stops were pulled out he can ship concertante to the US in three to six months. Morgan said he must have a refinery ready to take Haoma’s concentrate for final processing and recovery. He will need $100m so you will need to get our resources minister to talk to your people about that.”
Trump: “I will have that refinery ready.”
Australian PM: “There are a few other things I want to talk to you about...”

It was so lifelike, so utterly convincing, almost Arthur Millerish in its neo-realist intensity, that the spell it cast on the pond was only broken by a Mein Gott disclaimer...

While the above is obviously a fictitious conversation the exciting early results are not fiction,

Amazing. 

Who knew, who could have guessed Mein Gott had made it up, that it was "a fictitious conversation" devised by the lizard Oz's very own Shakspere.

And what news of one industry that might make use of rare minerals?

Uh, not so good ...

Never mind, Mein Gott was still working to save the Cantaloupe Caligula ...

Meanwhile, it’s absolutely vital for Australia that if the PM is Anthony Albanese he must not mention setting up a stockpile of Terbium and Dysprosium plus Iridium to deprive the US.
Given the US desperation such a threat would trigger a Trump explosion that would make his oval office clash with Ukraine President Zelensky seem minor.
Some years ago Haoma was removed from the ASX and shifted its listing to a private share trading hub (Ecosystem) operated through Primary Markets Limited.
The latest announcement from Haoma couldn’t come at a better time for the Pilbara because the price of lower-grade iron ore has slumped reflecting the tougher conditions in China. The profits and cash flow of both Gina Rinehart (Hancock) and Andrew Forrest (Fortescue) would have been hit.

There was just time for the reptiles to slip in an AV distraction, Review and Outlook: While Donald Trump focuses on Ukraine's electrical supply, nuclear power plants and rare earth minerals, Vladimir Putin wants much bigger concessions that would cripple the country.

That seemed to take Mein Gott's mind off his grand vision of saving King Donald from himself, and incidentally defeating the fiendish orientals, and his last gobbet was spent slavering over assorted rare earths...

Haoma’s heavy rare earth deposits centre around Bamboo Creek WA, where gold mining has taken place for 125 years.
WMC erected much of the mining plant and at the time when Rio Tinto owned 50 per cent of the Bamboo Creek gold mining operation.
After Rio closed the Bamboo Creek mine, Haoma was reconstructed by Morgan and John Elliott with WMC owning five per cent of Haoma.
When BHP acquired WMC in 2005 they owned the five per cent and after about 10 years working with Haoma sold their stake to Morgan.
At about the same time former BHP director and now Orica chairman, Malcolm Broomhead, became Haoma’s second largest shareholder.
BHP’s 20-year drilling program searched for gold deposits across Haoma’s Pilbara and Queensland tenements using experimental techniques to assay and extract complex gold ores.
Terbium, Dysprosium and other heavy rare earths were not discovered at Haoma’s Bamboo Creek until 2019, when samples from the Bamboo Creek Valley were analysed at The University of Melbourne’s electron microscope scanning facility with these results now transforming the value of Haoma’s Bamboo Creek area.
When BHP pulled out, the Morgan family funded Haoma with about $100m to develop what is now known as the ‘ElazacProcess’ to extract gold and other difficult to extract metals. Today a plant is operating at Bamboo Creek and will be used in the first stage of recovering poly-metallic concentrates of rare earth and precious metals.
A second plant which is in pilot stage will produce further upgraded concentrates to ship to the US.
Haoma directors say the company has made “a significant heavy rare earths and strategic metal discovery in the Pilbara”.
“There are available many millions of tonnes of ore containing significant quantities of Terbium oxide, Dysprosium oxide, and other Heavy Rare Earth oxides, plus precious metals,” Haoma states.
“A Terbium grade of plus 3,000 grams per tonne, measured by XRF, from different large samples collected over Haoma’s Bamboo Creek tenements is significantly higher than other Australian mines recovering heavy rare earth oxides.”
Both the US and Australia have a lot riding on Bamboo Creek’s future development and production.

And there you have it, and no cartoon because all that talk of the mango Mussolini reminded the pond of the excellent links in Katy Waldman's piece in The New Yorker, Trump is the Emperor of A.I. Slop, It makes sense that a man who yearns for a reality untroubled by other humans would be drawn to art that is untouched by anything human.     (Archive link)

If you follow her links, you can end up with some astonishing visions, reminders of why Mein Gott is such a devotee ...

And so to a hint of the pond's next stop in its recent travel adventures, the mighty hamlet of Barraba, where a bunch of Studebaker devotees were having a group meet.

The pond isn't of that ilk, and came across the meet by accident, but came away with some pictorial pleasures to be rolled out in the next few days.

Amongst them was an ancient fire truck and - given the ways pond correspondents try to hunt out Major Mitchell connections - perhaps they'll be inspired to fresh endeavours by a sighting of a Major on the wall experiencing a reflexive snap moment.

Or is it just a common-or-garden galah, as many Majors turn out to be?