It's a big, historic day for the reptiles ... and naturally the bromancer was top of the digital page to celebrate ...
Oh and look, the world kept safe for coal - huzzah - and women kept out of a club with a Groucho Marx maxim - huzzah ...
And by golly the pond has everything ready to join the reptiles in the wild celebratory party. Wave that scrap of paper in the air ... peace and a trade deal for all time ...
What's that? The pond should make sure the cakes and fizz will keep for fifteen years?
Forget it, the pond will be long gone ... here, have a Rowe instead ...
By golly that bull is looking good, and such nice qolours too.
So what else is on the reptile menu this day?
Ah, great news ... at last the reptiles have worked out a good reason to hang around with a QAnon cultist ... it took them a few days, but Fergo and Jimbo did the trick ... well played lads ...
But what's this? No, not the obligatory fawning over the old duck, why there's Dame Slap, and as usual, she's hopping mad ...
Indeed, indeed, and let us not mention an easy solution, such as an effective vaccination rollout, let us do a vintage Dame Slap IPA chairman bleat instead ...
It is of course passing rich for News Corp to contain a column blathering about company tax, when the reptiles have themselves shown exceptional skill in avoiding it ... if others are having a problem, shouldn't Dame Slap just refer them to the News Corp accounting team? Or perhaps the Donald's?
And what's this anxiety about exports relying on fossil fuel industries? Wasn't climate science just a feeble excuse for the UN to introduce world government by Xmas? And hasn't Shanners just announced that Oz, the entire planet and children have been made safe for dinkum clean innocent virginal Oz coal, oi, oi, oi? Huzzah ...
Indeed, indeed... the kids should get a proper reptile perspective on things ...
And now as the pond is feeling strong this day, what else is on offer?
How blessed the pond is.
No need for a serve of Dame Groan, groaning away about Queensland and Victoria, not when there's a lavish dish of dog botherer crocodile tears to hand ...
Sad plight? Diabolical dilemma? Oh it's going to be a rich brew, this serve of reptile crocodile tears ... even though the banquet will lead straight to a forgone conclusion ...
Oh it's heartbreaking. You see where the unkind virtue signalling leads? You see where all this mollycoddling takes us? You see what being woke brings?
Yes, the dog botherer is profoundly distressed. How could you be so cruel to the dog botherer? Why are people so unkind? Easy to be cruel ... now on with more crocodile tears and much more dog botherer suffering, because people are so unfair to reptiles sobbing into their breakfast cereal...
Indeed, indeed. We already know the value of an Australian passport in terms of being able to get back home during a pandemic ... as for talk of special treatment, it grieves the dog botherer to be cruel, it tears him apart emotionally, but special treatment must be dished out ... because what do you know, next there'll be hordes of pregnant women at the border, and what a grotesque nightmare that would be ...
Indeed, indeed ... shove them there, send them anywhere but here, it's the kindly thing to do, and sure there'll be a few crocodile tears along the way, but it will relieve the enormous suffering and emotional distress of the dog botherer ... and surely that's a good thing ...
Yes, more hardships than it resolves, because if that wretched family - it's all their fault - were to return to Biloela, the dog botherer would be overwhelmed by emotional anxiety at the nightmarish thought of all the pregnant women storming the country ...
And then, echoing the dog botherer, came the lizard Oz editorialist ...
Oh yes, in reptile la la land, there's nothing to do but shed a few crocodile tears, and stick to the letter of the law, because otherwise think of the inordinate amount of reptile suffering, all triggered by a selfish family and a selfish community perfectly happy to see a family return to town. How un-Australian is that? What we need is a dose of tough hate, in the reptile way ... or else there'll be pregnant women everywhere, just like all those cards flapping around Alice ...
And so to a bonus ...
Indeed, indeed ... so perhaps the pond could up the bidding with a Playboy model ...
By golly, the orange one did have an eye for big tits, as well of course as the pieties of the bible ...
Ah, that report. Unfortunately the pond had already read the Vox response to that report, to be found here, and containing inter alia, the odd question or three ...
Never mind, the pond is still grappling with William Barr and what the word "suggest" might mean, and the best thing is that a genuinely devoted Xian man got a chance to stand in front of a crowd, holding the bible upside down and testifying to his deep Xian devotion to his faith ... which happily coincides with a deep faith in the power of tear gas and big tits to move people along ...
Indeed, indeed, it's everyone's fault, apart from the reptiles and the Donald ... and what a splendid sorbet of suffering to dish up as the conclusion to this banquet of reptile tears ...
Now it's time to make America grope again ...
Doggy Bov: "In theory, border protection policy is simple. We decide who will come to this country and the manner n which they will come..."
ReplyDeleteAnd we learned that from the Aboriginal 'first nations' people, did we ? Or did we just act as "opportunists and criminals willing to exploit that desire [for a new life] along with any weakness in our border security to turn an illegal profit." Yep, that was us, alright.
Touche GB!
DeleteMore Doggy Bov: "The family have been given the health, education and welfare support they need."
Call me dipsy, but being trapped alone on an island with nothing but security guards for attention for 3 years is a little left of my personal idea of welfare for children. And a 10 day wait for proper treatment while being given panadol and ultimately being medevaced to specialist treatment on a 10 hour flight doesn't completely accord with my notion of welfare for childre.
Maybe it's different at the Bov's house?
His son doesn't seem to think that there's anything at all good going on Chez D. Boverer and quite likely there isn't.
DeleteBut what really gets me is this "must obey the Law of the Land" rubbish that the likes of Alex Hawke and David Littleproud go on and on about. As though it was some kind of commandments handed down by God and not just a bunch of stuff drafted by public servants and voted in by a bunch of simpleton politicians.
But that's LNP pollies, I guess - they obviously think that whatever they say has the same standing as the Word of God. Unlike whatever "opposition" politicians have to say which is clearly the words of the De Vil. Especially if the opposition politician is a woman or a Greenie.
Incidentally, talking about "opportunists and criminals", watching the bit in Malcolm Turnbull's 'Who do you think you are' about his umpteenth removed grandpa and the 2nd Fleet was a delight. You'd just have to have encountered that to know how very obedient to "the Law of the Land" us pomegranates have been throughout our history (though according to 'origin of names' info, my name says I'm actually a Viking fwiw, but we entered the Anglosphere as conquerors, not refugees).
So, the Editorialist joins in: "The government has no choice but to stick to the letter of the law."
ReplyDeleteWhy of course it hasn't - after all "the government" isn't a sinner disobeying the Law of God but nonetheless earning total forgiveness by passionate repentance. It's just this bunch of mugwumps who voted in the law by an act of parliament and who can change the law at any time by an act of parliament. Or declare a special case of exception by an act of parliament which would emphasize that this is a one-off case that won't ever be repeated.
Or whatever simple thing that their simple minds can encompass, but for once listen to the people and "do the work of God*" by showing compassionate mercy.
* who said that ?
But GB, you seem to miss the anguished suffering and the fulsome compassion of those required to stick to the letter of the law, inspired as they are by the decision of the bloody bean counting letter of the law Romans to bung on a census and force newborn Jeezus to spend his first moments in a manger ...
DeleteApart from the fact that there never was any such "census" and the Romans never required anybody to go back to their place of origin and nobody named Iesus Christos was born in any mangers some time around 4BCE (Before the Common Era) you veritably have a point, DP.
DeleteHave been travelling, and not had connections to comment for a few days. But this day’s Dame Slap is worthy of comment, so pleased I did not miss it. In a remarkable example of frank admission by an ‘opinion columnist’ she has salted her contribution with this -
ReplyDelete‘we don’t know the reason (why) the economy seems to have bounced back’
Is she venturing on to that slippery slope that a couple of other contributors have put their toes onto ? Is she trying to divine opinions that relate to a more real world?
For the other writings that you have prepared for us, DP - the UK/Australia ‘free’ trade agreement seems to be another ‘make work’ for junior ministers and several generations of dwellers in ACT, in the same way that the histories of several such families in ACT have been absolutely entwined in the New Zealand Australia Free Trade Agreement (NAFTA), which was signed on 31 August 1965, and which still has - a way to go. Ain’t ‘free trade’ a wonderful thing?
Indeed it is Chadders and the pond took to celebrating managed trade shortly after reading this ...
DeleteThe Slappy also says: "In the US, big tech companies have stolen the ranks from manufacturers such as General Motors, Ford and ExonMobil. Where is the innovation in Australia ?"
DeleteWell yes, I guess it is quite a while since the CSIRO came up with rust-proof wheat and Siroset. And the Black Box flight recorder and the electric pacemaker are old hat, and even wi-fi was long ago. Atlassian ? MYOB ?
Nope, I guess she's right, Australians never innovate about anything. Though here's a bit of a very incomplete list that she might like to read some day:
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Timeline_of_Australian_inventions