In which the pond helpfully suggests the reptiles just Lockdown Off ...

 

 

 

Gently, softly, the reptiles are quietly grieving for golden Gladys. 

Oh sure, there's simplistic Simon talking up SloMo, and there's the Major bold as brass, and there's simpleton Sharri, still obsessed with chilling China, and there's a link to Josh talking up population, no doubt sending Dame Groan into a frenzy, but please note how little at the top of the page the reptiles talk of the lockdown ...

Sssush, shameless pond mouth, you've gone potty mouth and used the "l" word. 

Next you might be suggesting that the virus doesn't give a flying fuck about ideology or the thoughts of the lizard Oz about it or ways of dealing with it, and thank the long lost lord for pragmatic state politicians of whatever stripe. 

Elsewhere you might find the "l" word flung about ... and even a picture of the reptile betrayer ... is traitor too strong a word for her "L" behaviour?

Oh the wilful obscenity, and even talk of sticking with the lockdown ... sticking!? How that sticks in the reptile craw ...

There, the pond has used the "L" word again ... enough of this idle obscenity, on with the Major ...

 

Just as an aside, is there something weird about that reptile snap? The curious mix of leering and sneering and simpering, as if determined to break the camera lens, or generate an ingratiating sense of nausea?

Never mind,  the Major is hurting too ... but at least the pond, after years of experience helping hunt for that missing Order of Lenin media, can decode the Major's meaning.

By Twitter, of course, he means the ABC, and soon enough the ABC will present itself for the Major's ritual beating ... though it's also understandable why the Major might be agitated by Twitter of late ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

And so on and on and on,  #NikiSavva.

 

No need to buy the lizard Oz on a Thursday? No need to buy the lizard Oz, period!

 

Over the weekend the pond had a thought, possibly a vision. If the pond could cut off the likes of the Bolter, little Timmie Bleagh, Akker Dakker and the like, why then the pond could add petulant Peta to simpleton Sharri and others on its scab blacklist. 

 

In the end, the pond might become a simple list each day explaining why the pond couldn't be bothered reading this reptile scab or that...

 

Well, perhaps not scabs in the traditional sense, more the sort you find after meeting up with a tar road, and perhaps more a blackballing in exclusive gentleman's club fashion to keep out the riffraff (along with disagreeable minorities), but now back to the Major ...

 

Hmm, talk of the Caterist? That reminded the pond, where is the Caterist this day? Last he was sighted he was furiously railing at the banks on 22nd June, 2021? Is he grieving too? 

But at least he can be consoled by the Major quoting him, and the Swiss bank account man given an approving not too, and why,  the bouffant also scores a mention, and by golly, so much fluff-gathering, and navel-gazing, and anal probing, and in house incestuous mind fucking that the pond began to reel a little ... and yet the Major had only just begun in his rejoycing ...

As for the Major spending half his time in regional Australia, the pond hails from up Tamworth way and still has rellies there, and would like to suggest to the Major that "I have to report people outside the capitals love Joyce" should have been amended, to read "some people", because indeedy do, some people love Joyce and equally, and with as much intensity, some loathe him, and some bush folk in particular despise the way an allegedly socially conservative Catholic could indulge in excessive womanising, not to mention his luddite ways and backward policies, more in tune with Gina's big mining mob than with farmers interested in preserving land for future generations ... but never let bush folk get in the way of the Major herding them together like mindless sheep,  all baahing "we love Barnaby", or worse, baaing like collective baaing inner city 'leets, or so the reptiles say ...

Now off to the Major back paddock, for more rejocying ...

The one thing the pond will concede is that the Major has stayed as resolute and as firm in his climate science denialism as he has been determined to find that Order of Lenin medal, and so a snap of the "coal that batters" man would help him this day ... 

See that it is done, lizard Oz reptiles ... show the Canavan caravan triumphant ... see the wicked ABC done down ...

All the same old, same old Major talking points, but he never tires of them, in much the same way as senile old folk in the grip of dementia like to harp on certain topics, much the same as the pond never tires of the Major blathering on ...

 

Incurious about the facts? Coming from the Major that's rich, but typical of the reptiles, where the "L" word is never mentioned and the grieving for Gladys goes on ...

 

 

 

Oh sheesh, the pond has done it again. LOCKDOWN?! Why it's far worse than putting FUCKETTY-FUCK in colourful caps ...

And there this day the pond came up short. No Caterist, no recovered, reformed feminist Oreo to munch on ... just a bunch of news the pond had absolutely no interest in ...

 

 

Hmm, has MP Laming ever thought of suing himself? Well if we're talking about people who've done irrevocable damage to his reputation ... and it's great so see comrade Dan back, because where would the reptiles otherwise be, now that Gladys has abandoned them? They need someone to bash on a daily basis, and comrade Dan it will be ...

Things didn't get better beneath the fold, it not being just toads who are pointless this day ... the reptiles too are pointless ...

 

 

Say what? Simplistic Simon went from "coalition firm" at top of page to "next election couldn't be tighter" at bottom of page, and all in the blink of an eye?

There's a mystery the pond couldn't be bothered solving, just as it has no interest in rescuing Josh from the paywall. If Josh wants to talk to the public, let him put it out on his special Josh page, rather than help line the pockets of the Chairman ...

As for the swishing Switzer talking up Jacinta, is this the best the reptiles can do? An ABC hack in lieu of the Caterist and the Oreo?

And what about Bob Carr lining up to help the reptiles pick the pockets of silly subscribers?

As for the lizard Oz editorialist, the effort was short and snide and, in a way that sums up the lizard Oz this Monday, truly pathetic ... in the manner of reptiles, or more particularly, crocodiles pretending to shed a tear before embarking on a feast ...

Cartoons? Did someone mention cartoons? 

How about a cartoon from a real cartoonist, because all the pond could think of about this day's reptile offerings was why don't you all just LOCKDOWN OFF, you pathetic bunch of LOCKDOWN cretins ... but please, remember the toilet paper, as you LOCKDOWN OFF, and also note that there are more Rowes here, helping to explain why you can just LOCKDOWN OFF ...