This was the reptile HQ commentariat situation that confronted the pond yesterday ...
It helps explain why prattling Polonius jumped the Q, and scored a Saturday rather than a meditating Sunday slot ...
As for the rest, the pond had already done the latest emu controversy, and as the dog botherer is neither a historian, nor black, nor an anthropologist, in fact not much of anything, the pond knew it would just be a standard ideological rant, because when you're a right-wing hammer, all you can see are leftist nails stretching off to the horizon. The pond was also irked by the notion of the dog botherer confusing emus and ostriches, while no doubt going on to explain the many errors in the book ...
Nor could the pond come at the oscillating fan, or Gemma, scribbling as if it's all the fault of Australian ning nongs, when we have our very own ning nongs in government ...
More Kudelka here, but at least the pond has conformed to the ancient instructions of the pond's mathematics teacher ... show your working!
And having shown the impeccable logic of its workings, that's how the pond ended up with Shanners, the bouffant one ...
Here's the logic. Too often the pond ignores the reptiles' hagiographic tendencies, their desire to become Pravda down under ... yet here was the bouffant one craving attention with a sycophantic example of boot-licking that sounded like it would be of the first water.
Of course the pond had to give in, of course the pond had to go with the flow ...
Being a professional hack, Pravda stooge, and lickspittle bootlicker is a tough reptile tour of duty, but Shanners has been doing it so long, he knows how to do it in best kraven, kreepy krawler style ...
On the other hand, the pond has been drawing attention to Crikey of late, with stories currently outside the paywall, such as this one, in full and with hot links here ...
This is the sort of outrageous, willfully misleading nonsense that Shanners has to deal with when preparing his government press release for the lizard Oz, but he's always up to the task ...
Yes, everything is for the best in the best of all possible worlds, and dinkum clean virginal innocent Oz coal, oi, oi, oi, is safe for generations to come to use ...
Where to go after that triumphant conclusion? Well perhaps throw in a photo of the demonic enemy, add suds and rinse some more, can't have specks of coal dust getting in the eye ... though come to think of it, what's wrong with returning to the glory days of the 3801 and cooking bacon and eggs on the fireman's shovel? Coal, coal, coal ...
Um, wasn't the bromancer yesterday assuring the world that it was China, China, China, nothing else, only Chynah? Never mind, follow the wise ways of your average Tamworth dog, and never return to your vomit ... settle down inside for a last gobbet of glorification of dear leader's pretty unique * (*ABC radio license acquired) wisdom ...
Huge! And really in amongst all that forelock-tugging, and ever so humble celebration of the mighty leader, what joy to read of an honest, realistic assessment. Once again the unsung hero of the lizard Oz has done it again ...
And so then it became just a short hop, step and jump to the next climate warrior. It's true that he's extraordinarily predictable and nauseatingly repetitive of the few talking points he thinks he's mastered, but sometimes the pond likes to remember those early days when it was first Bjorn-again ...
Another exceptionally dull reptile illustration tagged on to the story, and it produced a festering desire in the pond to gazump the Bjorn again one and take a trip down memory lane, courtesy of DeSmog here ... all the way back to 2010 ... explaining how, Peter Principle style, an attention-seeking publication might allow an extraordinary amount of failing upwards ...
There's heaps more, with plenty of footnotes and hot links, though not always reliable thanks to the ravages of time, but that noted, there's nothing like it for warming up to be Bjorn yet again ...
Ah, there's a novelty. The Bjorn has gone the old Orwellian routine, always a favourite, and as always, as an expert in doublethink, there's a bit of projection and transference going down ...
Take the opening gambit in the next gobbet. Yes, climate change is real and man-made and we should fix it smartly.
The Bjorn again one is expert at that sort of bullshit line, because he'll always then turn on a dime to explain how it might be real, but it isn't that bad, and we shouldn't panic, and we should fix it smartly, by pissing money against the wall on yet to be invented technologies hidden in the bush, while ignoring the invented and working technologies already in the hand ...
Note the glib way that the Bjorn again one tosses off statistics as if they're proven and a given, but to catch the real whiff of what he's saying, see what the reptiles inserted as a click bait attracting distraction ...
And that she blows, as only the Bjorn again one can blow. Whenever the pond runs the Bjorn again one, it waits for an endlessly repeated mantra, so that it might drop another dollar in the jar, knowing soon enough that the pond will be filthy rich thanks to the Bjorn again one.
It is of course "To tackle climate, we need to ramp up our investments in green energy innovation dramatically."
The pond suspects that the Bjorn again one has a keyboard shortcut that spews that line out into the world with a single energy efficient, carbon reducing keystroke ...
And so to a bonus, and what do you know, yesterday the pond looked to the middle section, and with delight discovered that Dame Slap was at the centre of the triptych...
This was extraordinarily lucky, as the pond had no interest in ancient Troy doing over Labor yet again, or Fergo doing over comrade Dan, it apparently not having penetrated the reptile ether yet that things might be getting crook in Sydney town ... and that if they could only take their eye off comrade Dan for a nanosecond, they might find other comedy thanks to SloMo's mob...
Sorry, that was a digression ... on with Dame Slap sticking up for men ...
Of course if you extended Dame Slap's headline logic out, it'd be live and let live, and let the blokes have their public bars, let the blokes have all the jobs, let the blokes have the vote, let all the blokes scribble for the lizard Oz and be chairman of the IPA, and so on blokes, and so blokes forth...
It's easy to spot the Bjorn-again perversity at work here. There's the disclaimer, "Personally, I regard the idea of secretive, private clubs 'inviting'only men as members as past its use-by date."
Then cue Dame Slap explaining why the idea isn't past its use-by date, there might never be a use-by date, and even if there was, in the meantime, it's a good thing, a bit like a men's shed, where men can get together and tinker with model train sets ... perhaps even have a miniature 3801 using mini-chunks of dinkum Oz coal ...
There we go again, in the usual Bjorn-again way. Dame Slap berates the ABC for not turning up articulate people, and then proceeds to talk up the articulate points made by the articulate people ...
Hang on, hang on. Did Dame Slap wangle her way into a men's club, pull a pen from pocket to write note, was told off and never returned? How could this be? Didn't sharing space with doddery old farts offend her IPA inflected feminism? Or was she operating on the Groucho Marx maxim about clubs and membership?
Alas the pond is likely never to know, especially as there's only a gobbet of condescending "how sweet" and "bless him" and talk of thick or shameless women to go ...
And by the end, the pond was sated and satisfied.
Somehow, miraculously, just as the pond had begun to doubt, Dame Slap managed to wrangle in talk of "virtue signallers" ... and yet at the very end, she also manages to signal another virtue, which is to say that eventually these clubs will choose change ... presumably because there's been no pressure put on them at all ... a bit like the way that SloMo will work his way towards dealing with climate science without any outside sources influencing him, or making him change his ways. Perhaps just a word from his imaginary friend will be enough ... it's only a matter of time, at least if you happen to be planning to be around in 2100 ...
The real tragedy in all this is that the pond ran a Wilcox a few days ago dealing with Dame Slap's theme, but heck, as it's still relevant, why not give it another run?
" the ancient instructions of the pond's mathematics teacher ... show your working!"
ReplyDeleteOoh, that's what I have just been happily reminded of: the workings of Benoit Mandelbrot and his fractals. So very long since I'd seen them:
https://www.bing.com/images/search?q=mandelbrot+fractals&qpvt=mandelbrot+fractals&form=IGRE&first=1&tsc=ImageHoverTitle
https://www.bbc.com/news/magazine-11564766
Dame Slap is taking up her born to rule partner, the insufferable snob and bore, Michael Kroger's war on the ABC.
ReplyDeleteKroger has been in a state of suspended Little Lord Fauntleroyism since he was 12.
Do these self-appointed members of the Bunyip Aristocracy have nothing better to do than listen to and watch the ABC radio with the sole intent of being offended.
Polonius will be upset at the competition.
Sully - no doubt the Bunyip Aristos. use the same excuse as the great unwashed when they add comments, along the lines of ‘I was just channel surfing across from Tucker to Sky News when I happened across ‘4 Corners’ this week, right at the point where the presenter (haven’t bothered to commit her name to memory) made the outlandish statement that . . . . .’
DeleteBut I came here to mention a serious case of -
What about me, it isn't fair
I've had enough now I want my share
Can't you see I wanna live
But you just take more than you give
(with due acknowledgement Warner/Chappell - must do it right)
Also acknowledge My Source - because it is from the ‘Yellograph’, and I cannot offer a ‘was trying to choose between the latest ‘Quadrant’ and ‘Spectator’ on the magazine rack, when a copy of the ‘Telegraph’ fell open in front of me.’
Seems P. Akerman thought he should join the group kicking Bruce Pascoe and ABC (SO convenient that they can be stapled together), by taking a few quotes from recent book by Sutton and Walshe (saves actually having to think up Akerman phrases) that other commentators tell us ‘destroys Pascoe’. But - and I quote Dear Piers -
‘Sutton and Walshe’s publishers, MUP, would not provide me with a review copy of their book and declined to make the authors available for an interview.
This seems a strange way to assist in publicising a book which I firmly believe should be included in every school reading list even as Pascoe’s works are removed or at the very least, marked fiction in capital letters.
As Sutton told me last year, he didn’t want his work to be written about by conservatives because e thought attention from the (handful) of conservatives privileged to put our views before the public might damage his reputation.’
Other than that, Piers uses much the same quotes that other more notable DWAG ‘conservatives’ have spouted, so there is no real evidence that he has been down to his local library to read the book.
I think Sutton got the bit about "damage his reputation" approximately right. But I don't think I'll ever be reading Pascoe or Sutton and Walshe so I'll never really know.
DeleteRelieved though that DP expelled Akerman et al from the Pond some time ago.
Thanks for that intrepid field research Chadders ...it's nice to know that Akker Dakker remains as Billy Bunterish as he was when the pond paid attention ...
DeleteThat's been a very relaxing Sunday: two who can only keep saying the same things over and over and whose vision of the universe is so limited, they can't even see as far as their own feet and one who figures that anything anybody else says that's different from what she says must be wrong, and "free speech" or not, she's going to have to "correct" them.
ReplyDeleteBut all things considered, Bjorn-again is really stuck in a groove, isn't he. Can't even begin to see that the real effect of climate change is not just a matter of a few percentage points of "GDP", but of the impact on the planet - we're already on the brink of extinctions and "killer" heat waves and Lomborg just can't register any of it.
Not really worth discussing the Shanner's homage to the Dear Leader but you might derive some amusement from Dave Milner treading over the same ground
ReplyDeletehttps://theshot.net.au/general-news/scott-morrisons-australia-is-fucking-embarrassing/
"As actual members of the G7, a regular gathering of important countries that aren’t China or Russia, the US and the UK had important things to talk about. Things like competent vaccine rollouts, and doing more than fuck-all about the climate crisis in the vain hope our descendants won’t spit on our bones and curse our long forgotten names for the rest of eternity, the degree of their misery resting entirely upon today’s shoulders."
"Scott Morrison, incapable of speaking on these subjects with any real authority, was not afforded the same privilege with USA Joe. Boris “let the bodies hit the floor” Johnson, a bedraggled hybrid of Donald Trump and Mr Bean via a creepy hyper-elite boarding school that churns out UK Prime Ministers like Liberal staffers churn out desk cum, was needed in the room as Biden’s “make this less weird for me” guy."