The pond felt certain that our Henry would tackle one of the vital issues of the day, and help restore Nero's honour and proud place in history, a campaign noted recently in The New Yorker ...
There's more here, currently outside the paywall, and really all he did was murder his mum, and who hasn't felt the need to knock off their mum every so often?
Imagine then the pond's disappointment to see our Henry turn up next to a bit of shocking heresy ...
Live with China? Dammit, we're at war with China, and each day the reptiles remind us, and the mutton Dutton plans for it, and ... oh, best get on with the hole in the bucket man ...
Oh yes, it's boom times for space adventures, but let us not forget the suffering endured on the local front by thrifty entrepreneurs ...
What else would you expect from the New Daily? Look, it's just fair dibs, as noted long ago by the Graudian here ... and such a trifling, measly amount, who'd care, but some book-keeping cardigan-wearing bean counter with too much time on his hands, intent on persecuting the hardly normal ...
Now please stand back, and let our Henry get on with his job. If he can't help redeem Nero, then surely he can redeem the filthy, long suffering rich ...
Oh indeed, indeed, the unfairness of it all, the suffering, the humanity ... please, tear another chunk from the pond's heart, drink deeply of the pond's blood ...
Luckily, after all that, and with not a single classical reference in sight, there was only one gobbet to go ...
Oh indeed, indeed, and after all that suffering, our Henry surely deserves an infallible Pope ...
And so to the rest of the reptile line-up this day, and what a disappointing parade it was ...
BoJo? How our Henry's heart must have sank...
Richo talking about normal exercise, Swiss bank account and Gold Coast style?
The Killer worrying about Joe being tough on Beijing and Moscow, apparently unaware of the extreme toughness the orange one displayed, and never mind the way he rolled North Korea as a bonus. Oh, yes, there are standards and strong signals to be kept ...
And then the lizard Oz editorialist trotting out "pragmatic" in relation to the mutton Dutton? What is it with "pragmatic"? The pond seems to be seeing it every second day in relation to SloMo and his mob?
And as for the lizard Oz editorialist voicing support for strong women, all except that devious wretched Ita, and that dreadful woman who deserved to be stuffed in a chaff bag and lost at sea, the pond had a mind to send Madame Lash around for an appointment at noon ...
No, there was nothing for it but to revert to a day old import ...
Silly Pom, and what a silly question. So long as there's a reptile alive, the culture wars will never be defeated, but do go on ...
A graph? He needed a graph? All that work in the lizard Oz, and Faux Noise, and such like, and he needed a graph?
Uh huh. Perhaps another example from The New Yorker?
Meanwhile, everything became clear to the pond in the next line. It explained the curious tone.
It turned out the scribbler was a young pup ... not a clue. Not a skerrick of understanding of how the Major could go on looking for an Order of Lenin medal for decade after decade, and never give up, no matter the odds, and how all the rest of the reptiles would carry on for all eternity, or at least the twelfth of never, ,with their own causes and missions, be it Killer to ban masks forever - even masks in comics - or the bromancer and the rest of the reptiles to prepare us for the coming third world war with China ...
What an excellent attempt at both siderism to conclude, with the culture wars both fading and coming, going and gleaming, and the pond returned from its usual reptile mission with the sense that once again the mission had been accomplished, and not a single speck of understanding had been arrived at, just an endless tide-like surging and retreating, boats beating on against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the reptile warrior past, a constant coming and a going, and yet even Nero might be saved from slaughtering his mum ... and as for an expensive night with a porn star, who among us would want to indulge in an Xian culture war?
And speaking of a coming and a going, Rowe noted yet more suffering in a going, with more Rowe served on the go here...
I suspect the fundamental problem before the Henry is that things were going along so well for at least one multinational media company that is close to his bank balance. A compliant Oz government had effectively taxed the emerging internet-based information companies for using, er ‘content’ that supposedly came out of the Henry’s source of pay, but with the notable difference that the tax would go direct to those who claimed to generate ‘content’. It would be called some other kind of payment, but as we learned from the Onion Muncher and his Lady Assassin - call it a tax.
ReplyDeleteBut so much more efficient than it going into a government treasury, where it might be diverted to putting food on the tables of the unemployed, or providing shelter for those undeserving ingrates who stopped paying income tax when they retired from regular work.
But instead of other governments simply asking the Chairman how much, and where to send it, they are treating the entire exercise as a source of revenue for them. The spirit of the ‘stable, growth-enhancing rules’ that the Henry longs for from ‘years gone by’ - for which read ‘the international race to lower corporate taxes’ seems to be gone, at least until the Donald returns in triumph in 2024.
Difficult to find a classic reference for that. Elements of Tarquinius and the Gabii might be appropriate, but that story has been regularly misinterpreted, particularly in this country, where the ‘tall poppy syndrome’ has acquired its own meaning.
The last "king" of Rome, Chad ? And 'Elements' and tall poppies and the city of Gabii. No mention of Lars Porsena though.
DeleteBut way too esoteric, erudite and enigmatic (I won't say Delphic) for my poor old mind. Did think this attempt by Holely Henry to pretend to some understanding of taxes, finances and enterprise would be best handled by you.
GB - I think you also have used this, from Upton Sinclair “It is difficult to get a man to understand something, when his salary depends on his not understanding it.” More recent, and quite succinct.
DeleteWay off topic as usual but I came across a term today (new to me anyway) that describes a large part of the reptile output - solution aversion. We all know what it is but it's nice to have a short way of describing it.
ReplyDeletehttps://today.duke.edu/2014/11/solutionaversion
It popped up in relation to this hilarious and disturbing statement
https://edition.cnn.com/2021/06/09/politics/louie-gohmert-climate-change-fact-check/index.html
"The 'science-y sounding' reasons most politicians use to reject climate change are not primarily due to lack of education or knowledge," Katharine Hayhoe, climate scientist and co-director of the Climate Center at Texas Tech University, wrote on Twitter. "No: they are deliberately manufactured and offered as palatable excuses to hide the real problem: solution aversion. They don't want to fix it."
Interesting, thanks Bef. But really just a version of the old advice: "if you don't like the answer, then ask a different question". Which is something that rulers, leaders and politicians have been doing since time immemorial.
DeleteOne of the more famous examples in Aussieland was Cur Joncur who turned the question "how can I turn Whitlam's progressivism into more traditional ways" into "can I sack Whitlam". A question he much preferred the answer to.
Maybe I'm the same but I suspect that it's just that most of the problems raised in the Oz opinion section don't need fixing because they either don't exist or don't matter. Wokeism, cancel culture, cultural Marxism - - - ah, you know what I mean.
DeleteProblems that don't need attention. however, form quite a list. Deadly pandemic, climate change, racism, sexism, clerical abuse etc etc etc. For all of those just continue as you are.
And don't forget 'critical race theory'.
DeleteBut yeah, it's really their list of problems that don't need fixing versus ours. And naturally the lists are mirror images: what they think doesn't need fixing, we do, and vice versa.