In which Polonius jumps the Q and the bromancer goes to war in best keyboard warrior style ...

 

 

The pond noted a number of stories during the week - beefy Angus in fine form in The Graudian - it takes exceptional skill to get the likes of Concetta Fierravanti-Wells offside - and there was another story in The Graudian, Earth is trapping 'unprecedented' amount of heat, Nasa says.

But the pond thought it best to let the reptiles stew in their juices for another day, and decided to bump prattling Polonius up the Q ...

The pond does love a good conspiracy, and Polonius was in top form, drawing attention to something Scotty from marketing is desperate to make go away ... with scribbling friends like these, who needs enemies?

 

 

 

 

Everyone but Aunty? Fair dibs. David Hardaker used exactly the same snap in a Crikey story, The PM has dodged the R-word for too long. We're breaking media convention t force him out. 

 

With the paywall down at the moment, this story is available to all, and it generated a goodly number of comments, including this one from a certain blackhander:

Clearly the Prime Minister doesn’t believe in some wacko conspiracy that leftist satanic pedophiles have corrupted governments around the world and only Donald Trump can save us. That would be insane.
The Prime Minister simply believes that the earth and all living things were created in 6 days around 6000 years ago and the world will end with the rapture and all good believers being lifted up to heaven. Nothing insane about that.

This is of course terribly unfair. There's no evidence that SloMo is a young earther. He merely believes that he can speak in tongues to an imaginary friend, heal by the laying on of hands, and shortly, not long to go now, the rapture will indeed arrive ... which is just as well, because by 2050, he'll be close on 82 and ready to see the wonders worked by his emissions ...

There was another comment below the Crikey yarn by a garrulous chittychatty:

Thankfully during those 6 days, there was time to sequester loads of carbon in the earth so the LibNats could dig it up & burn it today… Geez, “He” really thought of everything!

Another error. She thought of everything, as She always does ...

But enough with the light-hearted banter, the pond thought it might indulge in one of its notorious cut and pastes, and as Polonius decided it would ignore Crikey, which has claims to having set the story running long ago, why not give them first go?

 

Oh it's rich stuff, but talking of violent rituals, imagine getting inside Polonius's head and contemplating what he'd really like to do to the ABC ... it'd be a simulation of a near death experience ...

 

Yes, but it isn't just the ABC, is it? And seeing as how Polonius has had his turn, fair dibs says that Crikey must have another go ...

Well if he has something to hide, you can rely on Polonius's prattle to help him with the hiding ...

Now the pond is only the cut and paster, and will leave others to sort out what might be going down here, but the pond does wish that Polonius's unrelenting obsession with the ABC meant that apparently he couldn't spend a nanosecond attacking Crikey. 

Sure it's only a small indie publisher, and the lifting of the paywall to attract interest is a desperate ploy, and sure, the pond can get behind the paywall, but usually doesn't run Crikey pieces, because the pond only likes to take on the larger, bloated, tax avoiding corporations of the Murdochian kind, but really ... all that said, fair dibs, the bastards are clearly in league with the ABC, and deserve a good Polonial lashing ...

 

Sorry, it's terribly hard for Polonius, and inevitably, for his final gobbet, Polonius turned to other matters, because when obsessed with the ABC, why stop at just one story?

 

That last par is an egregious lie, even by Polonius's limited understanding ...

Of course a dance with the Prince of Wales wouldn't have involved a mullet ...

You know, a more honest response would have simply been to acknowledge the friendship, explain how the friend had wandered off down a rabbit hole, wish his family all the best in retrieving him from the rabbit hole, and sternly diss conspiracy theories of the Q kind ... instead of acting all furtive and deceptive, and allowing this sort of cartoon to flourish ...

And so for a little light relief, it's on to the war with China, and who knows, in goodly time, perhaps a third world war, and is there any better guide in all this than the bromancer? The reptiles think so, because look at his position, as top commentary dog, early on a Saturday morn ...

 

The pond had no choice, the pond was compelled. The pond had wasted too much of its Q ality time, the pond should have helped the bromancer jump the Q, because we must have a gimlet focus on only one country ... and by golly, we need to develop a long-range strike capacity to take out a billion people or so and teach them a jolly good lesson ...

Well the pond has been here before ...

... but is always willing to go there again ...

 

 

 

First up, and as too often happens these days, the pond must note the abysmal quality of the accompanying graphic. Wisely this pathetic attempt to evoke a Coleco game doesn't carry any kind of credit at all ... (hmm, will anyone remember Coleco? Should the pond have referenced Atari?)

 

It's not as if they couldn't have found a decent graphic to accompany the bromancer, and perhaps also hint at his worldly experience with other cultures ...

 

 

 

 

 

 

Never mind, present arms, and let the war begin ...

 

 

 

Passing strange ... elsewhere in the lizard Oz, the hagiographical Shanners was determined to take away a different message ...

 

But, billy goat butt, it was China, China, Chynah! Oh well, save that for another day, on with the war ...

So that's why we spent an eternity in Afghanistan, and left behind a remarkable legacy, and a defamation trial up there with Q if it weren't for the legal complications involved in commenting on it ...

 

Uh huh. Back then apparently there was one strategic threat to Australia, just as before that, in relation to Iraq, there had been one clear strategic threat ... but do go on ...

 

Ah the pond was wondering when the bromancer would get on his tank and armoured vehicles hobbyhorse ... fancy wanting resupply vehicles, when all we need is a gizmo emanating electricity...

Sorry, it's a long read, and the pond always finds war a trifle fatiguing, but on we march ...

 

Gee, that last par sounds awfully like there's nothing meaningful we can do anyway, but never underestimate the ingenuity of the bromancer. He will find a way ...

 

 

The Bart, The ... die maus, die brüllte ...

Sorry, the pond is getting a little light-headed and giddy, but the good news is the solution to hand. Long range missiles, and though the bromancer doesn't dare go there, why not with nukes, so that we can have a genuinely Stanley Kubrick moment?

So there we have it. There's going to be a big do and quite possibly in the next six to ten years, and so we need to be fully prepared to bung it on in the big one ...

 

 

 

After all that, the news that there's only a gobbet of bromancer war-mongering to go produced a sigh of relief in the pond ... this warfare is terribly exhausting, especially when you're a keyboard warrior, pounding away at the keys, with barely the energy to lift that hot chocolate to the lips ...

 

 

Indeed, indeed, and yet there's not a single mention of the Jewish space lasers which could well save our bacon.

As a result, the pond was forced to seek safe harbour with the immortal Rowe, with more safety always to hand here ...

 

Oh maybe that's not a safe harbour after all - the pond once had that precise cigar moment at Maroubra - but at least we'll have the missiles, and until they land, a few scattered memories ...