Lordy lordy, how the reptiles encourage him ... the sequel ... and the challenge ...

The pond was astonished and mortified. 

A reader claimed to have made it through the last reptile dance with former Chairman Rudd - all the way, right to the bitter end - featured on the pond, and then cheekily demanded that the pond begin to serialise War and Peace.

Well the pond can go one better than Tolstoy, and that's the sequel, by "investigative journalist" Pamela Williams, wherein the further adventures of young Kev are reported.

It goes without saying that it is an enormously dense and challenging read, far more difficult than anything Proust or Finnegan's Wake might offer.

Never mind, the pond is going to follow the same trick for the sequel as it did for the original outing. 

If late Friday is the perfect time for a useless policy announcement by a scheming politician, surely late on a Saturday is an even better time to unleash the kraken Kev, a time when a new taxation measure or an actual report providing an unwanted and unexpected conclusion might be trotted out, and so a time when the pond readership will surely drop to zero, zilch, nada, nihil, nothing. 

Who would rise to the challenge and actually stay the course when a wild evening watching British crime shows on the ABC beckons? 

Or if your eyes offend, you could simply pluck them out. So much to do, so little time ...

Naturally the challenge begins with a subtle and nuanced play on the notion of a zipperless fuck:

Unfortunately the pond can't stray into the territory of Malware savaging the whiner Rudd - here no need for inverted commas, no inverted commas needed here - because just finishing the Ruddster is the rough equivalent of a triathlon, so why add a lengthy bout of dry humping to an already difficult challenge?

There's only one question ... is it time, gentleman please?

Of course we all knew the answer ...

Indeed, indeed, and around this time the same question came in a different form. Is that all folks? How do you say Bugs Bunny?:

But of course it's not all folks, and that's why it's such, as the Donald would say, a huuuuge challenge:

Now in the original story, the pond presented some amusing distractions, some headlines explaining why the reptiles of Oz were so keen to act as counsellors, supporters, cheerleaders and therapeutic listeners to the former Chairman, ever so helpful, and keen to reveal why the former Chairman was just what the world needed ...

We think we missed this one as a standalone ...

Such a good likeness and such a good heist. Why this crim might even have managed to get the US to pay its UN dues ...

And so to the last lengthy gobbet, and the pond is willing to bet that very few managed it to the tippy top of this particular Everest ...

Oh sweet long absent lord, don't say there's a next phase, and perhaps a next phase after that, in a long interminable war full of tedium and endless recycling of the thoughts and deeds of a narcissist whiner.

Never mind, at least it provides the pond with a Rowe cartoon, and as always, more Rowe here.

Will the reptiles keep on encouraging him? 

How many times do we have to suffer through the same memories of times past?

Well once you've done the sequel, then there's the trilogy, and before you know it, you end up with endless volumes of Proust languishing on the shelf ...