In which Sunday proves a dull day for reptile spotting, with Peta spouting cliches and tired old hack Akker Dakker called up to go over the top for yet another time ...

Of late Sunday has become the least of days for reptile spotting and reptile pleasures ...

Oh sure, the pond had the most excellent pleasure of watching the News 24 coverage of the NT elections, with its desolate, bleak, alien and alienating desk, its technical breakdowns, its infinite capacity for putting its politicians in the noisiest spot, then watching them try to hear and be heard, its wondrous placing of a looming male presence behind a female candidate - dudes, it's magic shows that use the art of distraction - and best of all, the wandering camera, with its off the wall, off air meanderings, no doubt provided by some hapless stringer, as Adam Giles stood up to say farewell and have a beer ...

Try as they might, your average professional comedian couldn't produce the rich slapstick on view. It'll be a while before the ABC sticks that footage up ... though they owe it to the nation to do so ...

But apart from the thumping, and the way this new majority seems destined to break up into backbencher chaos, ever since Miranda the Devine had her school meltdown and took a well-earned break, there's been a lessening of weekend madness and hysteria. Has she been missed? In much the same way as when the pond stops bashing the noggin with a hammer ...

The Bolter is safely tucked away with his Napoleonic delusions in a television studio and the reptiles of Oz refuse to do much work on a Sunday ...

Recognising the shortage, the Terrorists have done their level best to provide a reptile supplement, resorting to good old Bunter man, Akker Dakker, and rolling out Peta for the Sunday time slot ...

Now the pond confesses that it came away from Peta with a brain soggy with cliches and the need to fight.

The pond has always fought for the right to party. If it's worth fighting for, then fight ...

Oh it's not just Adam Giles showing how it's done in the NT ...a beer for everyone ... and just to prove the pond actually took a look at Peta ...

Yes it's all there, every mindless cliche. 

Tighten belts, belt tightening yadda yadda, though the pond mourns that 'put the shoulder to the wheel' seems to have gone out of fashion, much like 'put some teeth into it' and 'put some creature out of its misery' and 'put someone through his or her paces' or 'through the hoop' or 'put the pressure on', because the heat is on and and if you can't stand the heat, get out of the kitchen, and make sure while the getting's good, that you speak softly and carry a large ruler ...

And what happened to buckle down, buckle up, knuckle down, knuckle up, British bulldog, give it the best shot, peg away, give it the old college try, pull out all the the stops, hammer away, sweat of the brow, and most applicable of all, simpleton knuckle head...

Having heard it all at sundry Tamworth schools while saluting the flag and frog marching off to lessons, oh industria, industria all the way, the pond turned more in hope than anticipation to Akker Dakker ...

After all, his splash offered what sounded like a standard three vegies and chop whine and moan about Malware ... and this makes things awkward for the pond. 

If Akker Dakker, wither the pond?

Well of course if you want to chow down with the real Bunter, you can wither off to Friardale which has more Bunteriana than you could shake a stick at ...

But actually Akker Dakker's piece raised a matter which has been of ongoing concern to the pond ...

Now if you do a diligent search for the Terrorist's very own Bunter, you can end up with a prettified story with visuals ...

But no, it's not subscriber only, because if you click on Akker Dakker's blog, you get it for free.

Which the pond has to admit is an exorbitant price. 

Couldn't they work out a way to pay people who do their duty and stagger through a standard piece of Akker Dakker rhetoric, of a kind he's been pounding out probably since before Major Bloodnock ate the farting curry and the crispy bacon they had before the war ...

Malware a farmer?

You could have knocked the pond down with a feather. But it turns out that the brave lad is at heart a Tamworth boy, at one with the land, and fields of yellowing straw ripe for the baling, and dinkum hats ...

Of course in the pond's experience, you won't find the average good farmer indulging in animal cruelty of any kind. If you must kill a creature, do it efficiently and expeditiously ...

There are bad farmers of course, who don't look after their animals, and now it seems there's Malware, who doesn't have much of a clue ... apparently it didn't occur to him that the problem with rabbits isn't best cured by hooking them up to a device and allowing a greyhound to chase them down and tear them apart, before knocking off the greyhound because it took to the task too slowly ...

But this puts the pond in the alarming position of sharing Akker Dakker's contempt, so it's just as well the blog format allows the pond to get through our very own Billy Bunter in a couple of quick gobbets ...

... which happily just leaves time for Akker Dakker to do a Bunter yaroop garooah moan at the way that political 'leets have been given columns in the Terror so that they might bray away year after year. 

Naturally it filled the pond with a deep distaste and a deep dismay ...

Oh for fuck's sake, not another Terrorist routinely published year after year, and paid handsomely for his pleasure, and his readers' suffering, braying about the basic right to free speech. 

Won't someone shut the handsomely paid free speaking fuckers up?

Well as usual Akker Dakker's trolling produced the usual level of correspondence ...

It made the pond feel much better, and much more cheerful.

There are still delusionals in the world who think that the onion munching wall puncher was a success. 

It goes without saying that the pond is delusional, but it's never yet managed to reach that level of barking mad delusionalism, which would see it up there with Tom Cruise levitating at Operating Thetan IX level ...

How soon before we reach OTX, the super-secret level that will give us immortality and automatically add another 60 years to the lifespan?

Never mind, in the spirit of Magnet and Malware's attitude to animal cruelty, the pond offers this tribute ...