In which the pond is overwhelmed by helpful reptile Thursday, as the caring creatures sort out everything from national security to the hounds to the insolent Baird ...

How on earth could the pond get it so wrong?

Clearly Thursday is the very best day of the week. Everything is for the best in the best of all possible worlds, though between Leibniz and Voltaire, the pond stands with Voltaire ...

It's what might be called helpful Thursday, because the reptiles are always on hand to help. 

And just look at the help on offer ... a double dose of the bromancer sorting out national security for a government too dumb to understand and always dragging its feet, Gary Johns helping the uppity blacks in the inimitable way that Johns does, because the job schemes that the reptiles offer for hack former politicians shows the dangers of 'make work' schemes, and that's not all ... there's a salty lesson for the readership too ...

Yes harden the fuck up, where's the string and sealing wax and the barbed wire and stockings and perhaps a bit of cabbage. 

Sure it might have been a total, cosmic fuck up, and the reptiles might have faithfully reprinted rumours about the perfidious Chinese, but why all the angst? Carry on regardless, and never mind the privacy issues ...

And there was a lesser Akker Dakker faithfully keeping track of a really important issue involving the homosexual agenda ...

Let's hear it for the fundamentalist Hindus ...

The pond will have to do its best to keep up on this frantic Thursday, and it's a vast relief that the reptiles have decided, for some unfathomable reason, to ignore an actual genuine scandal involving the ABC ...

It is of course a total outrage, and yet when the pond scrolled down through the front page of the digital lizard Oz, there was nary a mention of the scandal, notwithstanding that as recently as May Four Corners had recycled a PBS story Supplements and Safety here,  and at least someone who had worked on the Gruen and Checkout shows realised it was a disgrace . 

But it seems because it was a Fairfax story here, the reptiles of Oz are happy to let the wellness be ... so the pond thanked the long absent lord it didn't have to worry about the ABC, and moved on ...

Instead the reptiles were agitated about the same old same old ... the perfidy of Baird. 

Now he might be wrecking Sydney with mega roads and mayhem, but his real crime is ignoring the Terror ...

Remember the good old days? The pond can almost feel a burst of Barbra Streisand coming on as it sings a song of the way they were ...

As for that "vote me out" that was at the nub of the story, the pond couldn't remember a state election being called, and wondered what it was all about ...

Yes, the re-election of a Nationals candidate, or a Nationals candidate pretending to be an independent by the good folk of Orange will really sort Baird out ... 

And that's how you do a marvellous reptile eggbeater ...while the pond patiently waits for more houses to be torn down and more giant parking lots (called roads elsewhere) to be built so that they could move the traffic from one giant parking lot to the next, and the inner west rail lines could clog up even more, so that commuters could experience, in an action art way, what it's like to be sardines in a squashed Warholian can ...

Meanwhile, the reptiles were inconsolable and furious and outraged and agitated and ...

Talk about pique! Now the surest sign that it was all over would be a childish funny photo of Baird ... and sure enough ...

Naturally the reptiles of Oz lined up to support their bro Terrorists ...

The reptiles united, will never be defeated ...

... though it did occur to the pond to wonder  just how many greyhounds and their owners the reptiles encountered in their Surry Hills bunker in inner-city Sydney ...

Why do the reptiles routinely mock Surry Hills dwellers while working in a Surry Hills bunker? Surely it's one of the more sublime mysteries but when the reptiles get on a roll, they really know how to rock ....

And all this before the pond had a chance to get on to urgent matters of bromancer national security, and the plebiscite, and surely one of the weirdest displays of Prime Ministerial follies seen in recent times, with the media tipped off so that the raid on parliament could be filmed in all its fatuous plod glory ...

The pond has absolutely no time for Stephen "great big intertubes filter" Conroy but if ever the massive stupidity and hubris of Malware was on display in relation to the disaster known as the NBN, this surely must have been it ...

The pond will do its best to keep up with the reptiles, but at least, since we were talking of Barbra Streisand, yesterday's wondrous folly and photo opportunity produced a Pope cartoon reflecting on the wondrous hypocrisy and all the blather about whistleblowers, and more Pope here ...

So at least there was a silver lining and a smile to be derived from the folly ...