The parrots are back, gorging on the blossoms, and the pond is feeling pretty chipper.
This morning the pond was blessed yet again by Michael Rowland talking of a "very unique" thing, and then daring to take a crack at Lara Bingle. As if a man speaking fluent Bingle should mock a fellow Bingle.
In the old days, people would have reeled away aghast, memos would have been sent, the style guide folk would have required an extra strong cup of tea from the tea lady doing the rounds ...
But now the pond is resigned and regularly enjoys all the very unique experiences the ABC can offer ...
But now the pond is resigned and regularly enjoys all the very unique experiences the ABC can offer ...
And yesterday, thanks to a kindly soul that left an actual tree killer edition of the Sydney Morning Herald (soon enough going to be a rāra avis) in the doctor's waiting room, the pond was able to catch up with the sighting of an equally rare bird, a Jensenist. Talk about very unique pleasures.
The Jensenists of late have been forced to trudge in the wilderness in much the same way as their spiritual mentor. After they were dislodged from the angry Sydney Anglican website - what a cleansing that was, what a disappearing - they could be spotted at The Drum, but then it was closed to please the Murdochians and Crikey, and then they could be spotted at The Spectator, but that's just joining a cloistered order of eccentrics, oddities and clowns ...
Luckily the census disaster being presided over by ABS chief statistician David Kalisch - Did someone mention agile, innovative and digital and the Turnbull government all in the same breath? Does anyone in the government understand just how woeful broadband is in Australia for the dispossessed and the average Optus and Telstra user? - brought the Jensenists to a safe haven as they added to the fuss in Fairfax ...
The pond had thought of saving this rare bird piece to a Sunday meditation, but the reptiles of Oz are relatively quiet this day, and besides the message is of very unique importance and urgency ... so please bear with the pond as we examine the digital version rather than the tree-killer offering:
The Jensenists of late have been forced to trudge in the wilderness in much the same way as their spiritual mentor. After they were dislodged from the angry Sydney Anglican website - what a cleansing that was, what a disappearing - they could be spotted at The Drum, but then it was closed to please the Murdochians and Crikey, and then they could be spotted at The Spectator, but that's just joining a cloistered order of eccentrics, oddities and clowns ...
Luckily the census disaster being presided over by ABS chief statistician David Kalisch - Did someone mention agile, innovative and digital and the Turnbull government all in the same breath? Does anyone in the government understand just how woeful broadband is in Australia for the dispossessed and the average Optus and Telstra user? - brought the Jensenists to a safe haven as they added to the fuss in Fairfax ...
The pond had thought of saving this rare bird piece to a Sunday meditation, but the reptiles of Oz are relatively quiet this day, and besides the message is of very unique importance and urgency ... so please bear with the pond as we examine the digital version rather than the tree-killer offering:
Well there's an agile, innovative start right there. The jobs we did last Census seems to include standing on your head for Woolworths ...
And how pleasing that the Jensenists would cluck disapprovingly and tut-tutt about Jedi Knights and Pastafarians. The one thing fundamentalists can't stand is a little bit of very unique mockery ...
There you go, a reassuring level of delusion, as comforting as the parrots or other very unique experiences like a pair of slippers and cheese and cucumber sandwiches with the vicar ...
Fortunately because the pond came late to the very unique experience, others decided they'd have a piece of the Jensenist on various matters ...
Take it away, agitated readers ...
Indeed, indeed, especially delusional parental indoctrination ...
Only a total doofus or a Jensenist would propose as a Jensenist proposes ...
Oh look and you get a bonus Moir cartoon!
The pond loves it when others do the hard yards, take the ball up the middle or perhaps abscond to the Gold Coast with it, and so to the last very unique Jensenist gobbet ...
Now the pond rarely visits Fairfax these days. Since the golden days of Paul "the magic water man" Sheehan, the site has drifted into a most peculiar mix of the Daily Mail and the Graudian, with the charm of neither ...
But perhaps the pond is missing something, because even the Jensenist attempt at waffle theology produced a somewhat terse response ...
It was tremendously reassuring to read the Jensenists disavow the significance of the Nicene creed, and blather instead about "spiritual awakening", no doubt somewhat akin to the experience the pond has watching the parrots monster the cherry tree blossoms, or listen to Michael Rowland talk of very unique things ...
And what luck that the blather resulted in fellow blatherers joining the discussion ...
Ah, so that's how to build up the numbers. Count the cultural Christians.
Why if you happen to enjoy sword and sandal tosh, and biblical movie humbug, or read the Jensenists in Fairfax, you should be enrolled as an honorary Xian. Well the pond will help out by doing its level best to avoid the Census altogether ...
And now can spring be far behind? Should the pond consider writing a letter to The Times or perhaps the Fairfaxians about the first parrots?
That story from 1913 here ...
But no, these days The Times is just another climate-denying refuge for loons rather than cuckoos, a debased member of the Murdochian stable ...
All the same, it's put the pond in a good mood for the day, especially as the kindly soul also left a copy of the AFR in the doctor's waiting room, and the pond could see an actual David Rowe in its natural habitat.
Please help this rāra avis by looking at his gallery here, as today he celebrates the feast of the pigs ...
Don't forget the gravy!!
Now, now DP, "very unique" isn't specifically Binglese, it's basically modern journalistic argot. Argot, as you know, being "...a language primarily developed to disguise conversation, originally because of a criminal enterprise, though the term is also used loosely to refer to informal jargon." It is no surprise that journos speak a "criminalistic jargon", is it ?
ReplyDeleteHowever, I confess to a furtive appreciation for "very unique", mainly via its opposite. For instance, every human being is, of course, unique, but they are most decidedly not "very unique". In fact, more "barely" than "very".
Further, the Jensenists may "love it when atheists try to tell us how to define a Christian!" but no more so than how we agnostic proto-atheists love it when a Jensen tries to tell us how to define an atheist.
As to the Nicene Creed, well, my poor old memory tells me of a long ago story of an Anglican minister (may even have been a "bishop") who was sent as a missionary to Africa to preach to the benighted. Only to, in fact, be persuaded by them that Jesus Christ is a myth. He was subsequently "sacked" by the Church authorities. However, he then took the authorities to secular court charging them with unfair dismissal ... and he won and was reinstated. So, what would the Rev Jensen say about him ? Which category should he tick ?
[And I wish I could persuade Google to find me the reference so I could know I wasn't just a daydream believer too. But I'll keep trying]
How might a Gadarene-type entity ingressively mispeak the Nicene Creed to shock and awe susceptible believers who are acculturated within the Christian faith and who lack first-hand knowledge of all the things which that document purports to relate?
DeleteNow that is indeed a very deep and meaningful question, Anony ... well, I think it might be. Do you have a deep and meaningful answer ??
DeleteHi Dorothy,
ReplyDeleteOops! Looks like Graham Lloyd over at The Oz made the mistake of actually writing a factual article on Climate Change.
https://www.crikey.com.au/2016/08/03/pitchforks-graeme-lloyd/
The rabid readership unused to such truthful fare have not reacted well...
DW
Gwan, DW, at least they didn't threaten to crucify him for heresy. Though they just might if there's a next time.
DeleteWell, as a atheist, I suppose I shouldn't be telling Michael Jensen which box to tick, but as a "cultural Catholic" (you can check out any time you want, but you can never leave...), I can tell him that that is an Adriano Zumbo V8 layer cake of crap. There is nothing in the Nicene creed that is not a true, exact and complete statement of Catholic faith. If there is anything in there you can't sign up to then whatever you are, you aren't Catholic. While it is utter nonsense, it is very carefully considered and well-articulated nonsense.
ReplyDeleteOf course, Michael Jensen is an Anglican, and I suppose things are different when you belong to the church for all seasons. At times like this, I find a bit of Jay and Lynn can help - Jim is considering whether to appoint a Modernist or a Disestablishmentarian to a vacant bishopric:
Hacker: Humphrey, what's a Modernist in the Church of England?
Sir Humphrey: Ah, well, the word "Modernist" is code for non-believer.
Hacker: You mean an atheist?
Sir Humphrey: No, Prime Minister. An atheist clergyman couldn't continue to draw his stipend. So, when they stop believing in God, they call themselves "Modernists".
Hacker: How could the Church of England suggest an atheist as Bishop of Bury St Edmunds?
Sir Humphrey: Well, very easily. The Church of England is primarily a social organisation, not a religious one.
...
Hacker: ...One of them wants to get God out of the Church of England and the other one wants to get the Queen out.
Sir Humphrey: The Queen is inseparable from the Church of England.
Hacker: Is she? What about God?
Sir Humphrey: I think He's what's called an optional extra.
Ahhh, got it now...
And there is something in the human being that seeks out these bindings in the things that transcend us.
ReplyDelete