In which the pond soars with the eagle Order of Lenin hunter Mitchell, then slumps to the ground with prattling Polonius ...

(Above: more aspirational Rowe here).

There's nothing like a movie reference to get the pond fired up on the weekend ...

... especially when the likeness is so apt ...

Actually there is something better than a movie reference. 

It's when one of the reptiles Oz do exceptionally well. Then the pond gets wildly excited, and bubbles with joy and emotion.

How quickly the Order of Lenin hunter has blossomed under the pond's watchful eye. 

Some of us have had that experience in other areas - one moment the bub's rolling around on the floor, dribbling, then the first tentative steps, and then the squawking for attention is replaced by "I say dear mater, couldn't tide one over with a couple of Kermit the frogs? I'd be ever so grateful."

Now the pond handed out multiple awards to the Order of Lenin hunter for his last piece (it's still up on the pond here, preserved in aspic for posterity its incisive insights and possibly a few errors),  but it seems others also noticed that the lad was at last feeling his oats, and was ready to step up on to the world stage, thanks to his complete understanding of the full to overflowing intertubes.

He also suggested readers might like to see for themselves just how biased lefty journos such as Paul Bongiorno or Crikey’s Bernard Keane are on Twitter. Helpfully, he provided instructions on how to use the social media platform if you’re like him and don’t want to engage. 
 “If you have never done so, Google their names with the word Twitter, call up their feeds and check for yourself.” Genius.

Genius!? As if the pond needed to be told that!

Oh sure, along with the encomiums came a little nit-picking, but that's what reptiles, in the manner of the great apes, do for each other ...

More pedantry and bemused twittering and a hearty draught of mead at the Graudian here, but the pond feels safe to say that at last there is a reptile revanche, and it's being led by the reptile Mitchell. 

Hmm, must get in that order for more Order of Lenin medals. They're going to start flying off the shelf ... and how reassuring to know that the pond is not the only one to talk of reptiles shouting at the sky ...

But then, just as one reptile soars on the wings of an eagle - can John Denver be far behind, or better still can Joe Cocker and Jennifer Warnes be recalled to sing Up Where We Belong? - what of the aged, embattled reptile, diminished and downgraded?

Will no one pay attention, will no one take care?

Oh sure the pond understands the cruelty of nature, the once proud bull elephant trampled and kicked as the eagle Mitchell soars, but still the pond sheds a tear or two of undiluted pity ...

Oh dear, the pond could feel its heart sink. No talk of gays fervently opposed to marriage, in much the same way as the Order of Lenin hunter embraced feminism to berate the institution of oppressive heterosexual marriage?

The Liberal Party has replaced an incumbent Labor governm ent on four occasions since its formation in 1944: in 1949, 1975, 1996 and 2013 under the leadership of Robert Menzies, Malcolm Fraser, John Howard and Tony Abbott.

The pond's heart sank. Or more to the point, head hit chest and the pond remembered it was inclined to snore these days ...

Another boring history lesson. It's as if prattling Polonius had determined that the pond didn't spend enough time at Dame Slap's school for naughty pixies, gnomes and fairies ...

'If you take away three caterpillars from one bush, how many berries will there be left?'

'Add a pint of milk to a pound of peas and say what will be left over.'

'If a train runs at six miles an hour and has to pass under four tunnels, say what the driver's mother is likely to have for dinner on Sundays.

Why those are easy. How about 'if you read for pars of Polonius, how can you stay awake?'

It's impossible to imagine the despair, the thought that all that was left for the pond was to race off and slink behind the arras and wait for a rapier to end it all.

Oh sure the pond like the feint of "some commentators today like to depict Ming the Merciless as a moderate" because what could be more moderate than banning a political party?

Yes, it's the old trick of deploying "some people say", when the pond knows for a fact that some commentators today like to depict prattling Polonius as a boring old fogey ...

Never mind, the pond must attend to all the reptiles and not show favouritism, even if some of the eagles soar while others bore ...

There's nothing like going over old grounds to ensure good fresh coffee of a Saturday morning, and so in desperation the pond kept grinding away ...

Can you bear it?

Abbott confronting Hanson was very much a soft cop approach?

And a day later this story ...

In the immortal words of reptile Mitchell, you can google those stories or that last one by Annabel Crabb can be found here, with plenty of links ...

A proven liar, cheat and fraud - probably worthy of a barbie-stopping knighthood - and that's a soft cop approach? Which produced a bitter, vengeful harridan jail bird?

When will someone clobber the pond over the head with the benefits of a 100k slush fund?

And never mind that very last Polonius line about Abbott understanding, when it turned out that he was rightly judged not to have the first clue about much of anything ... where did that irrelevant detour into state aid for the tykes come from?

Shovelling more cash down the throats of the churches is going to be the way forward for Malware and his team, already writhing under the detritus of policy crap left behind by that monstrous ape clutching a bone?

Never mind, the pond will leave Polonius muttering and wringing his hands and sighing for a Pope cartoon and more Pope here ...

And speaking of Twitter, ever since the Order of Lenin hunter explained just how to use Twitter ... by googling ... by golly, the pond has been googling away ...

Mr Roberts said the current racial discrimination laws were introduced to “nobble” conservative commentator Andrew Bolt, saying “Julia Gillard did that.” 
 The Racial Discrimination Act was first introduced in 1975 and changes to 18C were made in 1995 when Parliament passed the Racial Hatred Act. Ms Gillard did not win a seat in federal parliament until 1998. 
 When then Labor attorney-general Michael Hugh Lavarch introduced the changes into Parliament in November 1995, he made no mention of Andrew Bolt.

Knob-end?

No, no, you can just call him a fucking useless dickhead Queenslander cane toad, or whatever else you want to call him, or so he was quoted assuring the world here ...

Is "empirical twit" a legitimate scientific category?