In which the pond takes a trip to the radical centre with Paul "Ned" Kelly ...

There are some epic feats, some reptile climbs, that the pond can only set out on after a fortifying inhalation of a papal treat, and more Pope cartoons can be found here ...

Amongst the biggest challenges the pond faces is the Everest challenge, or if you will, the South Pole trek, rough metaphors for any attempt to finish to the bitter end any column by the prolix pompous portentous Paul "Ned" Kelly ...

Only the foolhardy can contemplate this sort of feat at end of day, and even worse, the pond has set itself not just one challenge, but two climbs in the one go ...

Lasciate ogni speranza, voi ch'entrate ...

Steady, trembling hands, calm, frayed nerves, the challenge has been set. 

After all, the pond ran the grubby Ned's column about how an inquiry into the fate of children handed over to institutions was a complete waste of time, and no one complained.

Admittedly, readership dropped to below zero, but by golly the pond could look Jack Hawkins in the eye and relax with a hot cuppa because duty had been done ...

Okay, enough with the distraction and the deflection, time to get it on with nattering "Ned" ...

By golly there's no one as prolix as "Ned", and yet so forceful is he in his protection of Tony Abbott's great legacy, his wonderful unifying dream... thank heavens there was no gratuitous showboating and random trips north for a preening ..

And thankfully there are truth tellers amongst us, "Ned" foremost amongst them, who can stir the backlash by asking perfectly justifiable questions. Like why do whites have to put up with all this nonsense from pesky, difficult, tricky blacks?

With this fundamental question posed by the truth-telling spokesperson, we can move on to the next lengthy gobbet of white man shouting at clouds ...

Scandalous when you think about it. Fancy, instead of window dressing, wanting some sort of meaningful change with substance.

How lucky we are to have "Ned" on hand to blow the whistle on this sort of nonsense, backed by most indigenous leaders, in order that they might once again show how useless and clueless they are ...

It's a bit like that outrageous business with the NT Royal Commission. There was the government appointing a Commission without giving the first thought to an indigenous representative, and then Shorten and others dared to point out that the emperor had no clothes, and the next thing you know, suddenly the emperor's got some clothes and an indigenous representative, and what's the point of any of that, except to irritate and upset "Ned" Kelly?

To borrow a phrase, don't stand between "Ned" Kelly and a chance to write something stupid, you will be trampled ...

You can sniff the rest of that First Dog here, it'll get you through the last gobbet of "Ned"...

Yes, indeed, the stakes are high, and how dare anyone have a contrary opinion ...as opposed to Malcolm Turnbull and Paul "Ned" Kelly, though it has to be said if they're the guardians of the soul of the nation, is there someway for the pond to end its years in another nation? In much the same way as some Americans seem to be eyeing off Canada or NZ ...

Never mind, the pond can now look Kenneth More in the eye. The first climb has been completed, and in relatively good style ...

So to the final summit, in which the pond attempts yet again to understand the radical centre.

Now the pond usually prefers to stand in the dull, tedious, boring, tiresome, dry, colourless, monotonous, unexciting, uninspiring, unstimulating, unimaginative, drab, dreary, sombre, subdued, lacklustre, muted, pale centre ...

Getting out of bed is about as exciting as the pond likes it, except for the genuine excitement of returning to bed at end of day after a rewarding day doing absolutely nothing, harming no one, except perhaps the plants that provide the leaves for a cup of tea, and the animals sacrificed for a meal of meat ...

To have this transformed un to a radical centre is quite disturbing ... but transform we must ...

The pond is still no clearer on what constitutes a radical centre, but the pond does appreciate Ms Shireen's transcription of Noel Pearson's position, because it clearly explains why "Ned" Kelly has taken to shouting at clouds ...

A modest "hook" ... a most modest "hook" ... indeed a radical centrist "hook" ... and this from a man the reptiles treasured as their own ...

It was with an increasing sense of alarm that the pond read on ...

Not the dog botherer himself! Not talk of unfinished business. Not this talk of a radical centre, modest but profound, pragmatic yet paradigm-shifting ...

The pond could feel "Ned's" eyes drifting cloudward to contemplate the newly shifted paradigm, the radical centre, whatever it might be ...

And now journey done, Everests climbed, it was time for a cuppa with Rowe and Malware, and more excellent Rowe here ...