And so to a double bunger delight, an Oreo and a Marxist with a taste for racist abuse ...

It is of course a conspiracy, a shocking and wide-reaching one, up there with the UN and their fiendish use of black helicopters and climate science, and frankly the pond had absolutely no idea, until the brave Oreo blew the whistle in this day's lizard Oz ...

Tread carefully, this is almost as frightening as learning that Donald Trump is Vlad's Manchurian candidate ...

Bill Shorten ... and John Hewson! 

Say no more. Now we'll never know the real price of a cake's ingredients. And poor mutton Dutton the target of their wicked scheming ...

Now the pond just had to pause to admire that talk of the classically liberal values of individualism, free speech, logical argument and public reason, though surely it should have also made mention of hysteria, paranoia and a persecution complex ...

Hey ho, on we go, there's sure to be more rich pickings ...

What to say, except to issue another warning. Stay alert, and stay alarmed. They're coming to get you, liberal conservatives, those damned fascist progressives. Be prepared, dib dib dob dob ...

Oh wait, that's the wrong illustration, the pond should have signed off with its patented iron grid Oreo image ...

And so to the second bunger in the double bunger treat ...

Phew, what awesome force could leave a letter box in that sort of shape on a Tamworth cracker night of old, when dammit, the empire was the empire, and Marxists supported the Tories, because ... well because Tories see clearly ...

So glad you asked about that awesome force ...

Yes, war is peace, freedom is slavery, slavery is just another word for freedom, ignorance is strength, strength is ignorance, and the more racist speech there is, the less there'll be ... so we need more and more racist speech, because shaming is the only way to sort this sort of thing out, though frankly the last thing we need is all these damned inner city 'leets shaming people for speaking out about their love of the KKK. What's wrong with enjoying full body covering?

Now the pond has no idea where O'Neill gets the notion that there are pogroms in waiting. 

After all, the history of humanity has been remarkably free of pogroms and other sorts of prejudice. 

Unfortunately it might involve a hefty Godwin's Law fine if the pond were to mention some of the fine examples of pogrom-free countries, but never mind, the pond was almost moved to tears by the exemplary logic and the industrious 'make work' attitudes revealed in the piece.

You see, the more racism there is out and about, the more work there is to do protesting and organising and demonstrating against the racism. So we need to encourage more racism so we can have more protests, except it must never be done by protesting condescending elites who talk down to the dumb mob, when everyone knows they're fantastically clever, as abusive mobs have always been, right throughout history. 

You see, it's a complete virtuous circle, and frankly if we don't allow the racists out in the streets to shout abuse at everyone, the circle simply won't crank into gear.

There simply won't be enough robust battles in the street, and great exchanges of abuse, and how will we ever defeat racism if we don't allow racism to flourish? It needs to be encouraged  mightily.

So supporting racism is the very opposite of racism, and so Marxist dialectics triumph once again in a very Hegelian way ...

And it was at this point that the pond came to what might be called its napalm enlightenment moment for the day ...

Yes, just as some love the smell of that lovely substance in the morning - the more napalm we have, the less napalm we have - so some love the whiff of grapeshot and racism and just love to hear it ...

Indeed, indeed, so the next time someone calls you a dim-witted, fuck-witted black or a woman is charmed by being called a stupid cunt, why, get out on the streets and demand free speech for racists and misogynists, and before you know it, social harmony will devour you ...

Oh perversity, such sublimely stupid contrarian perversity ...

Naturally O'Neill - whom the pond sometimes is even thicker than the average Caterist, but certainly no less contrarian, got exactly the response he was hoping for in the comments section.

The pond clipped just a few before running out of energy and patience ...

And so on and so forth and interminably, and all jolly good stuff, and the pond was reminded of who actually paid to be able to put up an opinion at the lizard Oz ...

But enough of the pleasure of the company of angry old men, there must always be a take-home message, and  surely it's this ...

If you go to the football, next time please make sure you take a banana. Toss it at someone, preferably black. Such a whizz, such a keen idea.

That way you can offend everyone and then they can demonstrate against you, and then Brendan O'Neill can write a column about condescending elites, and really, it's a win-win for everyone, except perhaps the mug who copped the abuse in the first place ...

But hey, can there be progress without sacrifice?