The pond thought long and hard about it.
It could mean losing the last few readers, in much the same way as the reptiles of Oz seem determined to shed their readership.
But we had mentioned how exceptional it was to see a portentous, pompous Paul "Ned" Kelly channeling a narcissist, so we thought we could slide it in on a late Friday, like a broken politician's promise, and no one would notice ...
We have arranged little treats at way stations along the path - the road is long and less travelled for very good reasons - but a few front page reminders of why the reptiles have always worshipped former Chairman Rudd and why he would have made such an exceptional leader of the UN and the world will surely provide some brain food ...
And now, are sandwiches in hand and water bottles filled?
Hmm, a good start, a solid start, but frankly the pond was immediately moved to the most attractive Currish Snail headline of them all ...
Sssh, toadish reptiles, former Chairman Rudd is speaking to the southern reptiles on very important matters, and how he would have ruled the world ever so wisely ... and oh, how statesmanlike he looks ...
Hmm a good second piece, a solid beginning ... it would be wrong of the pond to revert to the Daily Terror so early in the story ...
Yes, kick him out, and promote him to run the world, because the Peter principle ...
Besides, dinky di abuse of staff and talk of rat-fucking should be spread far and wide ...
Besides, dinky di abuse of staff and talk of rat-fucking should be spread far and wide ...
Oh look, what a great statesmanlike pose ...
Hmm, excellent and most considered arguments. Surely no one would intervene if we should desire to send in the clowns to the UN?
Yes, that's what the world needs now ... there must be clowns, and with such good timing at this time in their career...
Excellent, and another astute pictorial selection - showing the world's possible future dear leader in such a statesmanlike and thoughtful pose talking to his admiring successor .
No wonder the astute reader marvels at how he could have been so cruelly shafted ...
No wonder the astute reader marvels at how he could have been so cruelly shafted ...
Oh so sad, that the world should have lost the chance to share the dear leader moments so lovingly celebrated by the Murdochians ... damn you cruel Malware despot, damn you to rat-fucking hell ...
Oh dear, oh dear ... there goes the pond's final reader ... and still no answer to the most pressing question of all ...
No indeed he doesn't and isn't Paul "Ned" Kelly pleased to point out to the world that there's an even bigger bore than him ... or is that a tedious tandem bike?
It was around this time that the pond felt the need for a jumbo sized pack of Murdochian reasons to celebrate the Ruddster, and mourn what the world had missed out on ... thanks to the cruel Cruella de Vil Malware ...
And yes, he still hasn't shut up, nor have the reptiles stopped faithfully transcribing his words or showing him in statesmanlike pose ...
And yet, and yet, the world surely needs insulating against threats ...
And so to the very last gobbet, included only so that the pond can say to the ghosts of Xmas future that the job was done, and never mind the last reader having already fled long ago ...
And so it seems the former Chairman will be deprived of a chance to haunt the nightclubs of New York or the chance to plead the fifth amendment ... despite his remarkable ability to move from North Korean to Adolf-worshipping dictator in the twinkle of a world leader Murdochian eye ...
As for the pond? It too knows nothing, having slipped off to the land of Nod even as these last words are typppppeeeedddddd....
Ah Friday, blissful time of sleep, and the weekend ahead, and no one, absolutely no one will know that this was slipped out like a politician's promise on the Friday arvo ...
Has there ever been a finer example of investigative journalism and a world EXCLUSIVE?
Despite it coming over like a Barbara Cartland pot-boiler (weren't they all ?), I did stay with Ned's Rudd saga right to the end. Maybe next Friday, DP, you could start serializing War And Peace ? It's the only way I'll ever get to read it.
ReplyDeleteBut I did take something from the epic tale: a reiteration of the old saw 'I know you think people understand what you thought you said but I'm not sure you realize that what they heard is not what you meant'.
Leak says, via the Bolter amongst others, that he can't understand why people have to ask what he means. I can't understand why he's so determinedly stupid after all these years - but I guess the company he keeps helps keep him that way.
The pond is amazed and gratified GB that you made it to the end, and still had the sense and strength to make a comment about the witless Leak. The pond awards you the stainless steel reader of the month trophy, and is immensely titillated at the thought of serialising War and Peace ...
DeleteI'm always just a bit nonplussed by the likes of Leak who, after all this time, is still too brain-challenged to understand that even if we do get what he thinks he's displayed - in this case three offensively rendered caricatures of aboriginals (one of whom might have been Anthony Dillon's father if it had been in Queensland) - it's seldom clear (especially given his wingnut mindset and limited talents) what he intends it to say.
DeleteThe best 'what I'm displaying is just what I'm saying' merchant was Tandberg - who can forget his wonderful cartoon that lost Fraser an election ? The one with a picture of a very aloof, nose-in-the-air Fraser with the caption 'The public image of Malcolm Fraser' in the left hand panel, then exactly the same picture, but with the caption 'The real Malcolm Fraser' in the right hand panel. A clear display, and an equally clear message. (Sorry, I can't seem to get Google to find me a copy of the cartoon. sigh).
But a posse of media wingnuts are all so very sure that Leak's message is clear and unambiguous, and anybody who doesn't just "get it" is an evil Leftie Social Justice Warrior. Next time, we should see if we can insist that all the wingnut Social Injustice Defenders are cut off from the media and have to write out their interpretation of what Leak is "saying". Naturally, they'd all have independently arrived at the "one right view", wouldn't they.