The pond is off to Melbourne on urgent business.
It's been contracted by the Baillieu Government to locate a stolen rubber stamp.
It seems that the stamp was in regular use by MPs anxious to announce brand new policies:
But with the stamp gone, the government has simply been unable to do anything, with rumours of Ted in poll trouble, talk of toll trouble, and those damned socialists on the Yarra making fun of everything, as you can read in Faith no more?
It reflected a political formula so simple it was almost radical: credibility + competence - spin = re-election. Do what you said you would, do it well, end the cabaret and voters will reward you. So confident was the Baillieu government about its approach it designed a bright red ''policy implemented'' stamp.
You could almost sense the stamp being applied with a thud as press releases flew out the door. But at some point in the past 19 months, reality intervened.
The stamp has since vanished. In its place, Baillieu has been left struggling to explain a growing list of undelivered policies and broken promises. He is facing internal and external tension over what is seen as an inability, or unwillingness, to defend policy decisions such as cuts to TAFE and services.
It seems even the HUN has been tetchy with the Liberal government, and all because of a missing stamp! Vanished! Gone missing! Lost!
Enough, whinging, whining Victorians. The pond and Ted are sick of it.
Time to hand over the stamp ... or else ...
Meanwhile in other Victorian news, the grid is out of control (Gold-plating the power grid), Crown bouncers are out of control (Court slams Crown bouncer violence), and the Met is in a growling grass frog mess (Metro's train system depends on this wilderness).
Meanwhile in other Victorian news, the grid is out of control (Gold-plating the power grid), Crown bouncers are out of control (Court slams Crown bouncer violence), and the Met is in a growling grass frog mess (Metro's train system depends on this wilderness).
Dear sweet absent lord, the joint is falling apart, and all for the want of a stamp.
Provided we find the stamp, and return safely from this broken-down, shoddy, weed-filled garden state, pond business will resume in a few days ...
(Below: dammit, and the pond will also find out exactly who's behind these cartoons, found here, and here. Repent, or you will be stamped!)
DP, I'm sure if you can't find the stamp, it'd only cost a couple of bucks to get a replacement made.
ReplyDeletePerhaps, as a gesture of good will to the Mexicans ... err ... Victorians, we could all buy one of the stamps and send them to that nice Mr Baillieu. If he had several, it would help deal with the backlog ...