(Above: Sophie Mirabella showing her green credentials with some lycra clad types, cell carriers, and in gold, surrounded by significant others).
Chairman Rupert's minions continue their policy of allowing politicians a free kick to blather pointless gibberish in The Punch, Australia's most tortured and inept conversation, and who better to contribute blather than Sophie Mirabella?
The mirror 'Messiahs' dogged by bad policy, she scribbles, in what is a mindless, policy-free zone of rhetorical verbal gestures.
For a start, how about embracing the remarkable stupidity known as the phenomenon of tea bagging (steady, we've already dealt with the true meaning and joy of tea bagging for a gentleman - here - feel free to teabag away):
In the US, the past months have seen a groundswell of opposition to Obama’s Health Care Plan. The lengthy bill – over 2,000 pages and growing – has ignited public opinion. It’s even prompted a new grass-roots political force known as the “Tea Party Movement” (in reference to the Boston Tea Party, the famous protest over excessive government taxes) that has seen public rallies across the land attended by ordinary Americans.
Oh sure, and Glenn Beck is a visionary rather than a demagogue.
But how's this for stepping down to the absurdity of personal attacks as a substitute for policy?
Both here and in the US, there has been quite a vicious vilification of the “dissenters” by the ruling elite and some sections of the media. US Speaker Nancy Pelosi derisively labelled the tea party protestors as “astro-turf” – insinuating it was a fabricated, rather than grass-roots movement.
Sure we do ad hominem assaults here at the pond all the time, but we're not federally paid politicians, we're just loons having fun squawking on the pond. Which is why we can always hear the mating call of a fellow loon. Oh yes, because here we go, assaulting emotive attacks by emotively talking about the ruling elite. And the media (some evil sections thereof).
Elite: code for the political party in power, a word you can cut and paste to apply to any political party in power. Meaningless babble. Now how about - after indulging in meaningless babble - some more meaningless babble berating others for indulging in meaningless babble of an emotive kind?
Extraordinary! Such emotive language. Would it bear any resemblance to this kind of emotive language?
These are two political leaders elected in almost Messiah-style euphoria.
Their elevation was supposed to ring in “change” after long periods of conservative Government that the elites and media had openly grown to loathe. There was little public scrutiny of the substantive skills each man would bring to the job – their popularity was a triumph of style over substance.
Their elevation was supposed to ring in “change” after long periods of conservative Government that the elites and media had openly grown to loathe. There was little public scrutiny of the substantive skills each man would bring to the job – their popularity was a triumph of style over substance.
Messiahs? Euphoria? But they're not the messiah, they're just naughty boys, like every politician, and the talk of elites and messiahs is just mindless emotional cant of the most childish and idle kind. Especially if the talk is of style over substance, without either style or substance being shown in the scribbling.
Never mind, let's also attack the media, which are, as we all know, responsible for all that's wrong with the world:
On both continents the media has been very slow to report on the true nature of the opposition – preferring to see it as a “fringe” rather than mainstream movement.
In the past few weeks, when it was obvious that majority public sentiment favoured delaying the ETS legislation until after decisions are made in Copenhagen, it has been interesting to observe the Australian media’s change in rhetoric from incredulous ridicule to a grudging acceptance that there is a legitimate alternative viewpoint. That viewpoint is now starting to get an airing.
On both continents the media has been very slow to report on the true nature of the opposition – preferring to see it as a “fringe” rather than mainstream movement.
In the past few weeks, when it was obvious that majority public sentiment favoured delaying the ETS legislation until after decisions are made in Copenhagen, it has been interesting to observe the Australian media’s change in rhetoric from incredulous ridicule to a grudging acceptance that there is a legitimate alternative viewpoint. That viewpoint is now starting to get an airing.
You see! The slow media and Chairman Rupert kept it hidden that Nick Minchin was the man who spoke for all Australians, and now he's spoken, and we all know that climate change is crap, that viewpoint is starting to get an airing.
Golly, what masked bandit - carrying a wheelie bin size year's worth of 'climate change is crap' articles snipped from The Australian - rushed past my window just now? Couldn't have been Tim Blair or Andrew Bolt, they've been doing their own thing in the tabloids for years ...
While those who question the ETS are still labelled “sceptics”, there is acknowledgement that there may be validity in their arguments.
What many have failed to grasp – both here and in the US – is that, while people want us to take positive environmental action, and they want the health system reformed – they just aren’t buying the highly flawed solutions put forward by their teflon leaders.
Teflon? Where's the gong? Emotive language 101. And how can you take positive environmental action when you think climate change is crap? (Oh that's right, you need to control your midnight emissions, Piers Akerman style).
It is a testament to the Australian and American public that so many have stood to be heard and dared to be labelled “heretics” by the elites and media who are firmly behind their “Messiahs”.
Oh fuck me dead, and bury me next to the bandicoot, why don't you just dress in Manly football colours and head into the South Sydney leagues club, and shout out loud "the bunnies suck". Or vice versa. Whatever lights your wick, or dips your tea bag.
Heretics, elites, messiahs, and the cheek to talk about emotive language. A class "A" gold standard platignum goose performance. (I know, I know, I fail - my own class "F" inability to use the English language in an emotive way is worrisome, but what would an ordinary, humble loon know about emotive language?)
But okay, enough with the amiable shouting. What have you got to offer Ms Mirabella? What actual policies on climate change?
In the US, debt has grown by over $2 trillion in just one year. Here in Australia, the Rudd Government that inherited a surplus has already racked an historically high $115 billion in debt - with plans to more than double that amount.
Uh huh fear mongering. Would that have any relationship to Barnaby Joyce announcing that the US government might default on its debt, or that the Queensland government might also default on its debt, and we should forthwith plan for complete and utter global financial catastrophe? (Joyce 'shooting from the lip' on US debt). How about Joyce's Armageddon warning?
Or would it be poor old Tones getting his figures wrong?
Tony Abbott was digging himself out of his first hole as Opposition Leader last night after declaring boldly and often that the Government had failed to produce modelling which detailed the costs of its emissions trading scheme.
The Government, however, pointed to the public release in October last year of Treasury modelling and then set about branding Mr Abbott as erratic, reckless and unreliable.
Mr Abbott showed no humility. He dismissed the Treasury findings as ''implausible'' and out of date and demanded fresh figures. (Abbott gets in a muddle about emissions model).
Never mind, that's all cheerful, mindless elitist batter amongst jolly hockey stick chums.
Let's get down to some serious policies, to deal with the serious issues that this country faces going forward, into the future, which is not to say the past, or the present, but the future, both in its short term and its long term aspect (hey, I'm getting better at this).
After all, much has been done, but much remains to be done, and we must all roll up our shirt sleeves and stockings and tackle the issues front on, face to face, head to head, toe to toe, eyeball to eyeball, mano a mano, chica a chica, mujer a mujer, vieja a vieja, and with sweat and toil, wrench a bright new future from the possible chaos that confronts us, deliver a smack down to all the evil forces in the world, including, but not limited to, international and national bankruptcy, penury, and poverty as we ride the Titanic towards the iceberg:
Yes, something must be done. But let’s get it right. That’s the common-sense approach that most Australians want and deserve.
Something must be done, and we should get it right in a common-sense way?
That's it, that's your coherent set of policies, laid out in a nut-shell? And not a bloody big walnut shell, but half of a peanut shell?
That's going to save us from the naughty messiahs?
Lordy, just when we thought the 'loon of the week' award was all sorted, along comes Sophie and steals the gong, just like that.
Oh please, please, can I be a politician too and write for The Punch? Jumping up and down, "pick me, pick me".
I feel a Friday song coming on:
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