Piers Akerman, Tony Abbott, Annabel Crabb, and important news on emissions control ...

(Above: Persephone supervising Sisyphus as he devises a policy on emissions control, in much the same way as these days Piers Akerman is supportive of Tony Abbott's emission control).

Over at the Daily Terror, Piers "Akker Dakker" Akerman, the fat owl of the remove, does a fearless job defending the new Abbott shadow ministry against chardonnay sippers, slipper wearers, latte sippers, effete ponces, and the socialist rabble that clutters the people's republic of Australia, and its lickspittle communist dictator Chairman Rudd.

Yep, our favourite antipodean Billy Bunter boxes on, under the header Abbott's front bench will pull no punches.

The make-up of the shadow cabinet actually reflects Abbott’s embrace of new blood and new thinking and a disdain for the reflexive political correctness so beloved of those who live in the people’s republic of the ACT.

Oh sorry, got that wrong, it's just the ACT, with its greenie gay marriage streak of libertarian secularism. But really when you think about it, the leftwing commie scourge is all around us, and the suggestion that the bridge and the tunnel might be disconnected so that the north shore can be protected from inner west raving loonies is receiving serious thought in all the best clubs in the land. At least those clubs which still keep women in their place. On the pavement out the front.

As usual, the lickspittle subservient socialist clowns and krusty deviants can be found in places regularly pinged by Gerard Henderson, and noted by the astute Akerman as he continues his campaign for paid content so that Chairman Rupert's dreams of a free press preserving democracy can be kept alive:

Abbott’s front bench has been described as “aggressive”, “hardline” and “uncompromising” by various commentators from the ALP’s print and broadcast arms, Fairfax and the ABC, who also claimed Abbott supporters were promoted and Turnbull’s people demoted.

Oh dear, could that be a reference to sweet Annabel Crabb, who has made the trek from Fairfax to the ABC - thereby proving that the two socialist camps are actually one giant Richard Glover love in - and who graces the newly re-dressed The Drum with pieces like Fright night! Abbott's pulse-racing reshuffle.

It's a reshuffle that could not have been crafted by any other politician but Tony Abbott.

That is to say: it leads with its chin, it's a little bit bonkers, it's utterly fascinating, it's defiant and aggressive.

And, like its author, it won't die wondering.

But enough of a sedate, rational assessment of bonkerdom. Crabb might even get a strong place in the multimedia world of the new ABC, though her dress sense currently tends towards what might be called the Democrat or Greens school of presentation. Nothing wrong with that, but with a make over and a little more experience, she could be on the move - or perhaps there's no need for a makeover, because I'm just an old fart, out of touch with the presentation revolution sweeping the corridors of Aunty.

Anyhoo, it really is vexing that I now have to troop off to the Drum on a regular basis to get the good oil, and her neatly barbed scribbles when once upon a time, after a bout of that laxative Miranda the Devine in the SMH, I could have a Crabb sorbet.

BTW, the drum - for you out of touch socialists - is information, the inside word, or a swagman's bundle. Do yourself a favour and pick up Sidney Baker's The Drum: Australian Character and Slang for a 1959 good oil dinkum revelation of a world of Oz slang now dying or dead. And good on the new team for showing an ear to the past.

But back to Akker Dakker, and his conspiracy theories about the socialists:

That other criticism of Abbott’s shadow selections, the use of Bishop, Ruddock and Andrews, is easy to counter. These figures bring experience to the shadow cabinet, experience that is not reflected within the Labor Government and they do so not through dominating senior positions but from posts that, important as they are, are not frontline but will benefit enormously from their hard-earned experience.

I know I've said it before - and I'm certain to say it again - but when Akker Dakker comes out with that sort of gem, I'm always reminded of Humpty Dumpty sitting on the wall in Through the Looking Glass, spouting eye glazing gibberish at the hapless Alice.

The dear toss pot doesn't seem to realize that the likes of Bishop, Ruddock and Andrews were amongst the key reasons the Howard government got turfed out at the last election. Is getting turfed out hard-earned experience?

There's glory for you!'

'I don't know what you mean by "glory",' Alice said.

Humpty Dumpty smiled contemptuously. 'Of course you don't -- till I tell you. I meant "there's a nice knock-down argument for you!"'

'But "glory" doesn't mean "a nice knock-down argument",' Alice objected.

`When I use a word,' Humpty Dumpty said, in rather a scornful tone, `it means just what I choose it to mean -- neither more nor less.'

`The question is,' said Alice, `whether you can make words mean so many different things.'

`The question is,' said Humpty Dumpty, `which is to be master -- that's all.'

Alice was too much puzzled to say anything; so after a minute Humpty Dumpty began again. `They've a temper, some of them -- particularly verbs: they're the proudest -- adjectives you can do anything with, but not verbs -- however, I can manage the whole lot of them! Impenetrability! That's what I say!'

`Would you tell me please,' said Alice, `what that means?'

`Now you talk like a reasonable child,' said Humpty Dumpty, looking very much pleased. `I meant by "impenetrability" that we've had enough of that subject, and it would be just as well if you'd mention what you mean to do next, as I suppose you don't mean to stop here all the rest of your life.'

`That's a great deal to make one word mean,' Alice said in a thoughtful tone.

`When I make a word do a lot of work like that,' said Humpty Dumpty, `I always pay it extra.'

`Oh!' said Alice. She was too much puzzled to make any other remark.

`Ah, you should see 'em come round me of a Saturday night,' Humpty Dumpty went on, wagging his head gravely from side to side, `for to get their wages, you know.'

There's hard earned experience for you! And now they get their wages and a promotion!

The greatest difference between the Opposition and the Rudd Government now is that the Opposition has shown it is not afraid of debating the issues and helping voters understand what is at risk from Labor’s policies. While this may not please the ABC and Fairfax, it is a winner for the public and those in the media who are genuinely opposed to censorship.

Yes! Like Chairman Rupert. He just wants to charge you for content so democracy can be safe once again. And freedom will rule. What do the lickspittle fellow travellers at the ABC and the SMH, that assortment of hacks and frumps, know of freedom?

While the ABC’s commentariat was firmly against any unilateral action taken by former PM Howard, it seems totally committed to Rudd’s desire to unilaterally destroy the Australian economy. So much for Rudd’s pre-election claim to be an economic conservative.

Oh yes, Humpty, bah humbug, and so much for everything. Because Tony Abbott is firmly in the centre, no doubt about it, surrounded only by braying sceptics and deniers on the lunar extreme left. Poor hapless Eric Abetz, Nick Minchin and Wilson Tuckey, so firmly in the centre it makes me wonder how the centre holds, and mere anarchy isn't loosed upon the world:

As for being “right-wing”, as Canberra critics claim, it is difficult to see how any group that includes the dripping wet Marise Payne could be considered anything but centrist as most. Abbott’s decision to await the outcome of the current farcical talks in Copenhagen before beginning to formulate a policy on emissions control is in line with the new pragmatism he has brought to Canberra.

But, but, but fat owl. Climate change doesn't exist. Why on earth is he wasting his time devising a policy on emissions control for a problem that doesn't exist? Dearie me, have you drunk the milk of the asp of the ABC and the SMH and imbibed the claptrap socialist party line?

ABC radio presenter Deborah Cameron rather dramatically claimed this approach was akin to “outsourcing policy to the US” but failed to mention that Rudd has had his RAAF jet revving on stand-by, burning up the carbon, while he awaits US President Barack Obama’s arrival in Copenhagen before lifting off from Canberra’s Fairbairn airport. So much for being appointed a “friend of the chair” by Copenhagen conference chairman Danish President Lars Rasmussen, who expected Rudd to be in town for the conference, assisting with the jawboning of reluctant delegates into submission.

So much indeed. Harumph. Jawboning them into submission. Worse still! Into devising an emissions control policy for a theory you say is completely wrong when it describes a problem that doesn't exist. Has there ever been a better demonstration of existential madness, of futile ennui, of Sisyphean endeavour, of bizarre pointlessness?

Abbott, shifting policy rocks like a ... it dismays me to say it ... like a fellow traveller with mad lefties ...

No doubt about it. I blame the ABC and the Fairfax harlots and strumpets and deviants and perverts.

Now to round things up, how about a ritual stoning? Ever since Monty Python and the stoning scene, I've had a taste for a good stoning.

Abbott wants to make a difference, not follow supinely in the footprints of Rudd, or the most enthusiastic member of Rudd’s mutual admiration society, the embarrassingly petulant former Opposition leader turned media sideshow Malcolm Turnbull. Like the champion boxer he was at Oxford, Abbott has his eyes fixed on his real opponent, Rudd, and is wisely letting Turnbull destroy himself without comment. It is a sad end for an individual who was shown unlimited goodwill by the Liberals and thousands of grassroots supporters who went out of their way to make him welcome and make allowances for the sad reality that he was in thrall to the minority interests of his Wentworth electorate.

Ah poor Malcolm on the outer, the petulant squillionaire who mentioned halibut being good enough for Jehovah, along with the benefits of having a policy on emissions control (please excuse me, the words climate change, and carbon control stick in the craw like a gobbet of spit, and please no joke about the need for emission control in the middle of a wet dream in the darkest hours of the night. Emissions control is a serious matter folks, deserving of a seriously pragmatic policy. Like keep a box of tissues by the bedside at all times, as any seminarian will be able to advise).

Yep, a sad end to Malcolm on the outer, welcomed with open arms by those moderates, Barnaby, Nick and Eric, and now regrettably but sensibly spurned for having the wrong emissions control policy, and being unable to control his own emissions.

Stone him, stone him, stone him ...