Piers Akerman, Jim Inhofe, and the real villains behind the global warming conspiracy unmasked, uncovered and undone ...

(Above: Senator Inhofe, hunting for pesky varmints, lefties, climate change fraudsters, and the Hollywood mafia who deviously promoted the conspiracy to the world).

As usual, and as already noted, Piers Akerman this Sunday embarks on one of his standard, now tiresome, and always incoherent rants about climate change.

You can read it here under the header Message on climate emotive, but a fraud, if you have the intestinal fortitude, and a desire to waste even more of your life than the many ways you've already invented. It's like trudging through a mind filled with molasses and sundry paranoid conspiracy theories.

Now treacle is okay for porridge - though I prefer brown sugar - but if you eat porridge after eight a.m., your digestive system will be ruined for the day. In the same way repeated exposure to Akker Dakker is likely to leave your brain in an even worse shape than your stomach. Some times it's better just to live with an aching hole in your tooth than to have too many Akker Dakker X-rays.

What's worse is that even though Akker Dakker is a top notch scientist, up there with the best of them, he still fails to uncover the deepest causes of the fraud known as climate change science.

Sure he blames left-leaning nations and tax-payer funded organisations and dysfunctional global bureaucracies and ferals dressed as polar bears and pandas, and irrational leaders such as Hugo Chavez, and joyfully hopes that anyone peddling this dangerous and unscientific nonsense wakes up with a lump of coal in their stocking on Xmas day, but being a shallow writer who fears to get too deep, he simply doesn't uncover the conspiracy at the heart of the fraud.

For that we have to turn to his comrade in arms, Senator Jim Inhofe, the ranking Republican on the Senate Environment and Public Works Committee, who turned up at Copenhagen for a starring role.

Yes, rather than sit at home in a den scribbling like a warrior of the pen when a sword is needed, Inhofe got amongst the fraudsters and the conspirators, and roundly boxed their ears as he denounced them and their fraudulent ways.

Sadly, when the brave senator arrived, few were impressed, and even fewer were around to greet him or listen to his message.

And as usual when his aides managed to rustle up a couple of bystanders and befuddled bemused hacks, the perfidious left wing leaning press, of the kind notoriously employed by Chairman Rupert in his vast socialist empire, asked some tricky questions.

A reporter asked: “If there’s a hoax, then who’s putting on this hoax, and what’s the motive?”

“It started in the United Nations,” Inhofe said, “and the ones in the United States who really grab ahold of this is the Hollywood elite.”

The Hollywood elite! Of course, it all became clear to me in a trice. The Hollywood elite aren't just to blame for all the bad movies and television in the world, they're to blame for promoting the conspiracy of global warming. After all, they gave Al Gore's film an Oscar, and then refused to take it back, despite the pleas of a couple of members of the Academy. And then there's all those damned end of world shows, like 2012, not to mention the pious do gooder messages that litter than lump of blue 3D US$250 million pile of Avatar poo.

Damn straight shooting, right into the empty skulls of the Hollywood elite. Never mind the science, look into the heart of darkness, the horror, the horror, and tremble.

One reporter asked Inhofe if he was referring to California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger.

Arnie? The terminator turned governator? But he's a Republican, and is currently busy supervising the bankruptcy of California, in much the same way as Republicans helped steer the good ship USA to the wreck on a coral banking reef of massive recession. What was the reporter thinking? Did he leave behind his Al Gore voodoo doll in the hotel that day? Where's a few pins when you need them?

Another reporter — this one from Der Spiegel — told the senator: “You’re ridiculous.”

Inhofe ignored the jab, fielded a few more questions, then raced to the airport for the nine-hour flight back to Washington.

After Inhofe left, some reporters were still a bit confused about what had happened and who he was.

I don't often dip into Politico, but some times it's worth its weight in gold on a lazy Sunday, when you begin to understand that loon pond isn't just a physical location, it's a state of mind, and it covers the looniverse.

We have Senator Steve Fielding, and the United States has Senator Jim Inhofe of Oklahoma.

“His name is Inhofe,” a German journalist told a Japanese reporter, “but I don’t know if it’s one or two f’s.”

His name's Steve, which is not the same as Stephen, and therefore not to be confused with Stephen Conroy. (Fielding finds sceptics in strange places).

Of course a few lefties got indignant about the three hour piece of showboating by the senator - here's Heather Taylor-Miesle getting upset in Inhofe in Copenhagen: Hear No Evil, See No Evil, But Speak Lots of It.

I have no direct evidence that rant is part of the Hollywood elite, but it is in a blog attached to The Huffington Post. Say no more.

Strangely a few people have even got upset about the way Inhofe decided to wear black snake skin cowboy boots to remind the Europeans that god placed man on earth to exercise dominion over the critters and to bugger up the landscape however they wanted.

But I'm relieved. It's always good to know the conspirators in chief, and if we get rid of Hollywood, not only will we get rid of American culture world wide, and one of the United States largest export industries (after defence), we'll get rid of a lot of bad movies. As well as ridding the world of bad science.

It's time for our very own Akker Dakker to get on the case, and root out the connection between bad science and Australian movie-makers.

Now you might think this is a long bow, but I remind you that Tim Flannery has already done two series for the ABC, that notorious left wing think tank, Two Men In a Tinnie, and Two in the Top End , and both were filled with relentless gaia worship and concern for the Australian landscape. And both were funded by the federal government, and its faceless bureaucrats!

And come to think of it, I don't recollect either presenter wearing snake skin boots. Golly, how much more evidence do you want!

There you go, now that the link is clearly and scientifically established, by golly we can kill off the local film and television industry, and thereby kill off all the anxiety about global warming, and all the bad science that goes with it.

Think what a relief that'll be to Tim Blair and Andrew Bolt since they hate Australian movies almost as much as they hate bad evil conspiratorial hurtful science ...

(Below: and while we don't usually run photoshopped images, unlike The Punch, we do think that this captures the essence of Inhofe, and his deeply noble quest to subvert the elite Hollywood conspirators intent on ruining America and the world).