John Humphreys, and whinging about the whiners, and talking up direct action as a way of avoiding it ...

We used to have a teacher who said on a regular basis ' don't do as I do, do as I say'.

It was usually in relation to smoking and alcohol, but he could on a whim extend it to any convenient issue to hand. What an insolent offensive bastard he was, even if he was usually right.

It turns out that if you google the phrase, you can get 189m. results, proving that dumb fuck teacher sayings are widespread in the looniverse.

And it seems John Humphreys has drunk the same kind of philosophical kool aid as part of his silly season celebrations, in Activists should stop talking about global warming and start acting.

You see, it seems global warming is an issue, and direct action should be taken:

Concern about anthropogenic global warming is appropriate. The Earth did warm up in the late 20th century, and the United Nations thinks greenhouse gas emissions are probably a major cause. Understandably, many people want to reduce greenhouse emissions.

Well that sounds serious, and it turns out that Humphreys is a research fellow at the Centre for Independent Studies. So what have the CIS, and Humphreys done in the way of direct action to tackle this extremely dangerous issue? How have they put it front and centre on the agenda, and taken diligent action to solve the many issues involved?

Well if head off the the front page, here, it would seem bugger all, or diddly squat.

And Humphreys' brave personal stand on the matter? Why it's to whinge about how other people are whinging and doing nothing.

If climate activists had spent the past 10 years acting instead of wasting time at talkfests such as the one at Copenhagen, we would already have a price signal on greenhouse gas emissions.

It is an indication of the sorry state of community groups that when faced with a problem, they spend millions of dollars whinging and asking other people to do something. This is especially true when it comes to climate campaigners. While this group of young ideologues revel in their self-appointed moral superiority, they have so far achieved very little.

Let's re-phrase that:

If the CIS and its ideological activists had spent the past 10 years acting instead of wasting time scribbling research tomes and attending talkfests throughout the land, we would already have a price signal on greenhouse gas emissions.

It is an indication of the sorry state of the CIS that when faced with a problem, they spend millions of dollars whinging about leftists and community groups, and asking other people to do something. This is especially true when it comes to campaigning about the climate. While this group of right wing think tank ideologues revel in their self-appointed moral superiority, they have so far achieved very little.

We could go on and on in like vein, since it's always easy to spot a gherkin hiding amongst the lettuce leaves, and Humphreys compounds the desire to go ad hominem by carrying on like a prize gherkin about what others should do and how everything is the fault of others:

Instead of whinging and waiting for politicians to become benevolent, people who are worried about anthropogenic global warming can take immediate action.

People who are worried? Presumably that includes Humphreys and by extension the CIS? Are they a community group who should be taking immediate action? Okay, how?

To be fair, some groups offer people the opportunity to offset emissions by planting trees or capturing methane from landfill. But the only long-term fix is better technology, and so community groups should be looking at ways to encourage investment in alternative energy technology.

Effective action requires money. Green groups raise funds, but these are often wasted on political lobbying rather than direct action, and so community involvement is replaced by rent-seeking. To engage the community, climate activists should offer the chance to contribute to a climate-change fighting fund which would be dedicated to action and not politics.

Oh I can't resist. How about we do a little re-write of that last par?

Effective action requires money. Dumbo right wing think tanks raise funds, but these are often wasted on political lobbying rather than direct action, and so community involvement is replaced by rent-seeking. To engage the community, dumbo right wing think tanks should offer the chance to contribute to a climate-change fighting fund which would be dedicated to action and not politics.

Why and here's the very way that might be made to happen:

It is easy to imagine entire workplaces getting together and jointly agreeing to join the scheme. Businesses would also be keen to contribute to show their green credentials, and rich philanthropists would add to the fund. Dumbo right wing think tank groups already raise millions of dollars every year; they could contribute some of that to the climate fund instead of political lobbying. Instead of flying around Australia to report on failure, keen activists could arrange fund-raising to contribute. Political whinging is popular these days, but civil society has always been more effective.

Oh steady on, old chum, you mean to say the CIS couldn't indulge in political whinging, its chief and most popular form of self-entertainment? Not liking the sound of that, suddenly all that talk of direct action seems the sort of thing we should perhaps urge on green and community groups. Other people.

But Humphreys can't resist a clarion call to arms:

As the fighting fund would be entirely voluntary, there is no need for lobbying, legislation or international agreements. We could start immediately. We could have started 10 years ago.

Uh huh, standing by Mr. Humphreys, ready, armed and waiting ... for your lead and the heroic leadership of the CIS as a sterling example to the community. True, you could have started ten years ago, but better late than never.

The Government cannot solve all our problems. Indeed, government action has a track record of making bad situations worse. In contrast, a voluntary climate fighting fund can be started immediately without a drawn-out political fight, without all the political compromises, and without the costs associated with government policy. If the Government then later wants to add to the scheme, it could offer matching funding. But a voluntary fund doesn't need to wait for government help or approval. All it needs is a group of climate activists who want to act instead of just talk.

Uh huh, act instead of talk. We're back to the them who'll do the dirty deed, rather than the us in the community. All it needs is a group of climate activists who want to act instead of just talk.

Act instead of just talk? Well surely the CIS and John Humphreys can lead the charge, as a nifty salve to their blathering consciences, instead of blaming others for not acting ...

What's that you say? What's loon pond doing in the way of direct action? Well don't look at us, we're soon off on holiday to sunny Melbourne. We much prefer to be like the CIS and John Humphreys and blather on about others blathering on about others blathering on, instead of taking direct action ... You see, it's the fault of others, nothing to do with us.

What a honker.

Oops, I was recently chivvied for insulting geese, and rightly so, since geese honk for a purpose (sex, alarms, feeding calls, territorial rights, maintaining good flying formations, helping lost geese contact base), but surely it's not too late for a 'gherkin of the year' award, and surely Humphreys is a prime contender.

Some might think the gherkin is an innocent fruit, similar in form and nutritional value to a cucumber (here), but I think it perfectly captures the spirit of someone who blathers on about other people blathering on, and talks about activisits who want to act instead of talk, in a way that suggests the author will be quite content talking rather than acting.

That irritating teacher we used to suffer under had a number of other wise saws, including 'physician, heal thyself', and 'people in glass houses shouldn't throw igneous rocks' and 'hot air is mainly useful for the launching of balloons'.

He was a deviant, insufferable bastard, but you know, I reckon he might have been right ...

(Below: screen cap of 'about the CIS' - you can find it live here. Strange, no mention of community activism, a workplace climate change fund, or a drive to transform the community through direct action rather than blather, talk fests, and ideologically driven humbuggery).

(Below: a gherkin think tank).