Piers Akerman, climate change, miraculous blessed Mary MacKillop and what the world needs is a miracle and a few details attended to ...

It's a simple task. Name the bigger goose. Or perhaps the biggest goose.

Here's Piers Akerman, finishing off his standard rant about Chairman Rudd, climate change, and Copenhagen, in Rudd and Wong on a climate snow job:

As Sister Judy Sippel, a member of the order of Sisters of St Joseph of the Sacred Heart, has observed sagely, the news of the canonisation of Mary MacKillop at the weekend offered more than was delivered at Copenhagen after 14 days talking by representatives of more than 190 nations.

"Little difference has been made at Copenhagen," she said. "Yet here is a woman who died in Australia 100 years ago whose influence lives on."

The Rudd Government's determination to press ahead with its damaging global warming tax agenda proves her point.

The extraordinary life led by Mary MacKillop offers hope and inspiration to hundreds of thousands of Australians.

The Copenhagen experience has delivered little but shame.

Oh it's a miracle! Hit me with that brandy and milk again. Um, but didn't the process to canonise the miraculous Mary start back in 1925? By golly, those Catholics know how to chin wag, then move things along quick stix. All done and dusted by 2010! 14 days, why that's an eternity up against 85 years, not to mention one women and a flock of papal bureaucrats up against 190 countries.

Here's the rest of the story from which Piers lifted his fodder to fill up his chaff bag of a column, under the header Mary MacKillop gives more hope than climate talks, says nun:

While celebrations today centred on the Vatican's declaration that a woman with cancer had been healed in the mid-1990s, Sr Sippel said she believed miracles occurred "all the time" at Mary MacKillop Chapel.

She said a young Vietnamese family often visited the chapel because they believed prayers to Mother Mary had cured the mother of pancreatic cancer.

Dee Encabo, who now lives in Wollongong, told AAP she comes to the chapel to pray during tough times.

Her mother died nine years ago, she said, and now she considers Mother Mary to be a "replacement mother".

"We know she is a saint for children," she said.

Blanca Lachia works in the gift shop behind Mary MacKillop Chapel.

"It's exciting," she said.

"I've been waiting for this news for nine years.''

Well you would if you worked in the gift shop. Talk about moving merchandise and knick knacks, the Chapel will be up there with Rome and all the dead popes.

Oh it's miracles by the bucketload, miracles in bulk, miracles all around us, never give up hope.

But we're all gunna die. No, you goose, you'll get pie in the sky by and by.

Yep, when in doubt, get down on your knees and pray. It'll fix everything, from cancer to climate change, and erase the shame of Copenhagen.

But why didn't god give Piers Akerman a brain, and instead decided to make him a brainless one man churn machine which never manages to separate the cream from the crap? In the old days, you couldn't even have made a decent pat of salted butter from him.

What a cruel hoax She played, and for all my prayers, things haven't taken a turn for the better, and no sign that Akerman will be any better in 2010. Better get moving Mary, see if you can fix things by 2050.

Meantime, if you want to count more angels on the head of a pin, why not read The Australian's tormented, tortured account of the theological issues surrounding Chairman Rudd fronting the altar for a wafer snack - Kevin Rudd's communion at Blessed Mary MacKillop's Chapel troubles church.

By golly, munching on a wafer can get you in deep theological waters, perhaps as a way of preparing us for a re-run of Noah's great flood (you see, She is wildly in favour of climate change as a way of taking direct action, especially if it's genocidal).

Guess there's no point in praying to Mary MacKillop if you don't have a run on the inside rails. Could it be that the world, full of Chinese and Indian unbelievers, is doomed?

But wait, what's this? A late breaking entry?

Yep, from the paper that brings you Piers Akerman and Tim Blair on an almost daily basis, squawking and flapping about the great climate change fraud and hoax of the century, and way out in front as joint winners of the year's title for loudest squawking loons in the pond.

Yep, the very same Daily and Sunday Terror, which produced this bit of pious platitudinous sanctimonious editorialising as a way of showing Chairman Rudd still has much to learn.

After establishing that smog and pollution might be a bad thing, the humble but far-thinking editorialist outlines a plan of action:

So, what should Australia do? We should take all practical and reasonable steps to reduce our pollution and carbon emissions.

That is not a controversial goal. It should not be hard to achieve. Voters want this to happen, as survey after survey reveals. Politicians - even the climate-change sceptics - agree that reducing pollution is a good thing.

The only question is how: either by planting forests and investing in new technology (as Opposition leader Tony Abbott argues) or by creating a market where pollution has a price and companies can buy and sell their rights to pollute, thus creating a profit-incentive to reduce pollution (the Government's Emissions Trading Scheme).

We are likely to end up with a combination of the two concepts at some point, so let's start working on the details.

If we wait for the rest of the world's leaders to agree, we might be waiting forever.

Oh well great, it's all sorted then. A bit of both, something from the top shelf and something from the bottom, fling it all together in this great big melting pot, and we just have to get down to the details.

Amen. Put the journalists in charge of the world, so we can end it now, or at least a lot sooner than a lot later.

Thanks no doubt to the blessed Mary MacKillop the Telegraph can miraculously go on putting out the polluting verbiage from its loons, while at the same time publishing a clarion cry for the world to get stuck into the details.

Oh, and so the answer to that question about the goose of the year?

Sneaky, I'm afraid. You were probably rooting for Piers Akerman, on the basis of profound, cynical, relentless, hyperbolic, hypocritical mendacity for the entire year, culminating in his fronting miracles and Mary MacKillop as a solution to what ails him, you and the world.

You probably had a soft spot for poor old Sister Sippel, who no doubt sincerely believes in miracles and quite possibly hoped the world might have done better at Copenhagen, and now only has a putative saint and miracles and the Pellist church for comfort, and so thought Piers had done her down.

And it's true - give me believer over a hypocritical cynic any day. At least you know where you stand, or kneel, as the case may be, depending if you want to die on your feet, or live on your knees ...

But for sheer mendacity and hypocrisy, and for failing to run one decent regular column devoted to exploring the science of climate change, I reckon the Daily and Sunday Terror and its editorialist win hands down the loon pond goose of the year award.

(Below: allegedly a snap of the Daily Terror editorialist picking up his goose, but how can I say this delicately ... doesn't he look a tad ... French?)