A complete and utter disaster. Perhaps even a deep state conspiracy.
Using the advanced mathematics that the reptiles apply to climate science, the pond has calculated that at any given time 87.77% (repeating) of lizard Oz columnists could rely on dictator Dan to provide useful space filler in the endless quest for angertainment.
And he's gone, as a correspondent wistfully noted, an absurd thing for a dictator to do. Resign, when a reptile tar and feathering was the only decent way to go ...
The pond has heard a whisper that when the Ibac report drops there might be another week of comrade Dan related news, but these are the stories the pond will be ignoring today ...
Yes indeed Rachel, the cult of reptile abuse of a southern dictator is now over.
It will be noted that the reptiles have caught the departing dictator's family making a Satanic gesture, and Fergo holds out some hope for the comrade Dan industry by suggesting that comrade Dan has ruined everything, so decades can be spent brooding about it. This might work for a few years, but alas, the likes of John Cain and John Bannon suggests the half life for this angle is limited ...
Still the Satanic gesture was good for the tree killer edition ...
Down at the bottom there was a piteous reptile pitch for subs, a cry that you could save and unlock so much more, but what? There was Dame Groan delivering a groaning ...
Good riddance?! Her astonishing ability to sound like a frump in a Monty Python sketch continues to amaze and be celebrated by her fans, but with comrade Dan gone, all that's left for her is a weekly column on furriners rooning the country. Sure she's hinted she has hopes she'll be able to have Jacinta Allan to kick around, but can it ever be the same.
And look, beside her on the far right, there's Slamming Joe, but are the thoughts of professional fundamentalist Catholic bigot Joe a good enough substitute? The pond suspects not ... the number of people interested in Joe slamming anything is, according to the reptile mathematical model used for climate science, verging on 0.01%.
Down below in the comments section was where it hit home the hardest ... look at them all, soon to be lost souls, enjoying a last moment fulminating at the führer, not realising the pitiless, pitiful future that faces them without a certified dictator on the horizon ...
It's true that the oscillating fan proposes we'll be haunted for decades ...
Of course the departure of the dictator - the pond still can't get over a dictator resigning - also leaves the pond in a parlous state, what with reptiles no longer endlessly tormented by a comrade reigning in the south.
Luckily, Dame Slap today abandoned her railing against activist judges and endless contemplation of navel and the Lehrmann matter, and had something of a return to form ...
There was the keen Keane ranting away in Crikey ... If Mike Pezzullo doesn’t like parliamentary democracy, he shouldn’t work for one ... (paywall)
He told Briggs at the time he thought he could have “turned” Smethurst and got her to produce “a great story for the government”. Pezzullo later saw no irony in claiming Smethurst had already been subjected to similar treatment by someone else: “Why do you think her handler picked her, rather than say an experienced national security journalist.”
Pezzullo has previously called for journalists to be jailed — something that even hardened Coalition right-wingers blanched at — and claimed that he “steered, assisted and worked with” certain journalists. As part of his plan to reimpose national security censorship on the media, Pezzullo told Briggs a D-notice scheme could be negotiated with “the hard headed and realistic media business leaders”.
That is, for Pezzullo, journalists are either handmaidens to power or “bottom feeders”, tame pets who can be “steered”, “turned” and “assisted” or (at best) victims of “handlers” with agendas, who should be jailed and censored.
That all of this was in relation not to a genuine national security matter but simply to the revelation of something embarrassing to Pezzullo only further proves that national security establishment bureaucrats primarily want more power so as to prevent themselves and their political masters from being embarrassed.
And the embarrassment has kept on coming for Pezzullo, with the scandals and debacles that have plagued Immigration and Home Affairs on his watch continually being revealed. Is that, in the end, what made Pezzullo so anxious to silence the media and get rid of that “concern for democracy” estimates hearings?
Pezzullo’s political antics, posturing and big-noting of himself might have been more tolerable if he was the successful head of a competent, high-performing agency. But Home Affairs is a mess, and has always been a mess. No agency or department is more in need of a sceptical parliamentary committee system and a media determined to do its job.
If Pezzullo doesn’t like those basic features of democracy, he should resign forthwith and spare the government further trouble.
So naturally nattering "Ned" had to distract and invite a rant about the RBA ... and naturally there was ire and agitation about always being reviewed ...
At this point, in their usual way, the reptiles began their parade of stills culled from the cheapest sources ...
They all seemed to prove that the big Mac was no longer the big cheese, and perhaps that was his main beef ...
Shocking. The notion that a Guv shouldn't be able to assure the public that there'd be no rise in interest rates is clearly wrong, and an abuse of the ability of a wise ruler to offer insights and advice to the masses ...
That sort of leadership conforms to the latest mathematical principles embodied in this graph ...
Back to the moaning Mac, in congress with nattering "Ned" ...
And so on and on, and just that one story did more for the RBA than "Ned" and the good 'burger could do in a lifetime, and now there's just one gobbet of "Ned" and the good burger to go ...
Must be addressed? Sorry, the pond is plumb out of envelopes, but it does have a Wilcox for a closer ...
