In which the pond indulges in a little "Australian" essence of Devine ...

The pond only notes the latest outburst by the arm-breaking grub - an employee of News Corp - because it represents a trend towards hysteria, offence and insult in sundry Murdochian organs... along with a goodly dose of paranoia, as the reptiles of Oz have tried to stir up the Xians ...

Now the pond can't keep up with all the stories, but whenever it hears talk of "unAustralian" it reaches for its Glock ... or at least for an understanding of what's properly "Australian" ...

Here are the whining, moaning Xians at work in the lizard Oz ...

Ah, it's the complimentary woman man, the angry Sydney Anglicans are setting the pace to restore the world to the innocent days before Eve did the dirt on Adam ...

Now there's a good one ... that talk of being "other-person centred", and the moaning and the whining about coercion and bullying.

Speaking of corporate bullies, let's overlook the creepy arm-breaker, dragging kids into the fray, and instead look at a proponent of the art of being other-person centred, Murdochian media style ...

Yes, it's the homophobic gay bashing fundamentalist Devine, who when not bashing the Islamics, can be relied to hang a greenie from the nearest lamp post, or do over a passing gay ...

What's passing curious is where the Devine dragged that "most of us" from.

Is she suggesting that "most of us" are as bigoted and vile as she is?

Actually there were many reasons that meant that the onion muncher's contrived policy to delay, defer and hopefully even defeat marriage equality never saw light of day, not least because the obvious nature of his bigoted contrivance didn't relieve members of parliament from the obligation to prevent hate speech from consuming the nation. 

Better keep it in the ghetto of Murdoch la la land, than pay people to spread the message of fear and loathing ... a job which the Devine, the Bolter and other bigots could do with one hand pounding a one-eyed keyboard ...

And so on to assorted and sundry Devine lies and misrepresentations, aided and abetted by new "research" conducted, the Devine claims, back in December, and landing amongst us in late March...

It is of course a set of findings fed to the Devine so that she, in her bilious, vile way, might construct as negative a case as she could manage ...

But there's something missing. The pond hasn't deployed some of the photos used to illustrate the piece, but surely there should be a shot of the ravening hounds shouting at the camera, glaring like zombies, carrying signs and placards, and possibly foaming at the mouth ...

Ah yes, there they are. Is there a lamp post handy?

And so to throwing everything, including the kitchen sink and Safe Schools, into the bullying debate:

Truth to tell, nothing will legitimise the result in the eyes of bigots, fundamentalist Xians and Islamics and Jews, and crazies like the Devine ....

Never mind the illiterate reference to "this polls", and the deviant attempt to extend the polling into further claim-grabbing territory by talk of "shy" no votes ... apparently there are no Xians with a conscious that might have a "shy" yes vote lurking in their supposedly compassionate soul.

Let's just cut to the main game. 

This column presumably passes as what what the Xian leaders and the reptiles see as "Australian" behaviour and "Australian" speech ... which is to say, licensed bigotry, manipulation of data, innuendo, and frank, offensive, explicit insults ...

How did the pond realise that the Devine had once again hit her mark?

Well right there at the top of the comments section, there was a comment from one Jim lad ...

Well done Jim lad.

It takes a considerable feat to overlook the treatment of gay people by the Nazis, but you've managed it. What a splendid tribute to Devine thinking you are.

No doubt on rising each morning, you splash yourself with a scent that's pleasing to your bigoted nostrils ...

In which the pond joins the dog botherer and Dame Slap in a glorious crusade ...

Some days it's best to start with a light-hearted joke that does no damage to property ...

Will there come a day when jokes about feral dicks of the mutton dutton kind are banished from the full to overflowing intertubes?

Luckily, the pond doesn't harass the reptiles, rather it herds them towards redemptive enlightenment and an understanding of their crimes ... though it does raise the question of how many times it takes to perform an "harass" ...

Could someone get away with two or three harassments, would ten harassments be an "harass" too far ...? Who knows, but then who would think this was sensible wording? Apart from the feral fools gathered under Malware ...

Never mind, it's back to the usual business, and this day the reptiles provided a transcript showing the dog botherer attempting to think on his feet ...

The trouble with this line, logically, is that if the left prefers to feel superior, then clearly the dog botherer feels superior to the left's feeling of superiority, and his feeling of superiority apparently comes from a sense that he confronts reality and gets things done ... like helping start a war in Iraq and didn't that work out well ...

Oh just stop right there, you feckless fuckwit of the first water. We aren't in a post-Trump age, unless you consider Trump is no longer acting as the POTUS ...

As for the rest, you feral fool, what the fuck is "politic correctness"?

Oh don't go running, wailing, to the subs, like a sook or a mummy's boy, harden the fuck up and check your own copy ... your name's on it, wear it you pathetic excuse for a token ... why the pond wouldn't even deign to play Monopoly if you were the token ...

As for the rest, it's full of the usual futtocking ...

Read that line about 'political posturing' and weep.

What else to say, how else to describe, how to summarise succinctly in a couple of words, the dog botherer disappearing up his own fundament in a flurry of right-wing clichés of the predictable, crude and trolling kind ... though it is passing sad and strange how Wilders already seems to have fallen off the list of names trotted out on this sort of occasion ...

As for the celebration of Hansonism, it establishes exactly where the mealy mouthed dog botherer sits ... and so to the standard bout of fear-mongering ...

The pond has no idea if the dog botherer won the debate,  but it seems the tossers at the Ethics Centre think this is the way to sell bullshit tote bags ...

And they wanted thirty nine bucks and up to listen to this sort of drivel, with the only reward a free fucking tote bag ...

Meanwhile, anyone wanting an irony overload can spot the Ethics Centre blathering about other debate topics:

The Ethics Centre has set an ambitious goal to present a program on refugee policy that adds to debate and goes beyond the polarised positions that have created political stalemate. We believe narrowing in on the refugee convention is the best way to do this. Our speakers will address the middle ground with intelligence, reason and a healthy passion that won’t descend into name-calling or over-simplicity.

Yep, there's nothing like an inane dog botherer blathering on about PC to ensure an avoidance of name-calling and to provide an abundance of rich over-complexity ...

And so to an apology ... the dog botherer's splendid outing has cast Dame Slap into second place, a position the good Dame rarely accepts or tolerates ...

It will also be noted that Dame Slap's rant this day has been made largely redundant by the dog botherer's covering of the turf ... there's only so many times that anyone can listen to the same pack of hounds howling at the moon, all singing from the same song sheet ...

There is of course a little sticking point here.

When Dame Slap talks of "our values", the good Dame seems to assume that everyone is on the same page as she is ... which is to say, a barking mad right wing loon howling at the moon, and imagining that climate science is a way for the United Nations to introduce world government ...

"Our values" ... "our solidarity" ... why madame, that's the same sort of talk that has led to the pond depositing squillions into the Godwin's Law swear jar, though you seem to have missed out on Volksgemeinschaft and talk of Gemeinschaftsfremde ... and let us not forget blut und boden ... 

Oh sheesh, wait, you really want to start rabbiting on again about 18C, don't you? Talk about core values of immediate vital concern ... for the four who pack into Barners' office ...

Oh indeed, indeed ...

More of the quisling, lickspittle, fellow travelling, pandering May at the Independent here, as the pond rushes on to devour the last Dame Slap gobbet ...

What sticks in the craw is the notion that Dame Slap, scribbling in a rag that sells on a good day to a couple of hundred thousand Australians out of a population zooming past twenty three million is in any position to talk about commonality amongst Australians ... as if the reptiles' relentless, tedious, incessant squawking about 18C is a major issue ten feet beyond the water cooler in the reptiles' leet Surry Hills bunker ...

Somehow it evoked ancient tribal memories in the pond ...

Now some suggest that this appeal by Hitler for the support of the German people is very awkward, and uses complicated heavy Germanic grammar in a way that doesn't make sense, but the pond thinks the text is pretty straightforward, and reads something like "I am now asking the dinkum Aussie folk to join with me ...we are failing to project strength and solidarity by not uniting around our core, common values, and so we must unite behind Dame Slap, and her common values - oh they're so bloody common - so that we can march together forward to a glorious future arising from the solidarity and strength of the dinkum Aussie volk gathered together under the glorious leadership of the reptiles of Murdochian la la land" ...

Or some such thing, as another dollar hits the swear jar ...

And now, as we're all rats trapped in a cage of our making, who couldn't shed a tear for the plight of Malware, as celebrated by David Rowe ... with more celebratory Rowe here ... and what a rat for company in the cell ...

In which the pond checks out the reptile narrative, thanks to Lloydie and Moorice ...

Media Watch returned to the safe ground of giving Lloydie a good mocking, starting with his bold claim about being fearless ...

Every so often the pond wonders why Lloydie exists and how he manages to live with himself, but the reptile thumb gives a clue ...

Well you know what they say about butterflies in the Amazon producing a cyclone on the other side of the world ...

It's the usual theory of rogues, charlatans and thieves that a little not-for-profit work elsewhere will excuse the shameless, grubby, for-profit work being done at home ...

The question is, is it fair to slag off good old Lloydie for being a one-sided git, and a positive danger to the country and the world, and to complain about his conspicuously fearful absence from reporting on recent stories about coral bleaching?

Well yes, because as Media Watch notes - the show is available here - during the first round of reports, Lloydie took to the battlefield with ceaseless reporting ...

And good old Lloydie tilted at windmills and jousted with Media Watch when it questioned his reporting...

That show, which dug up Lloydie's reliance on Jim Steele, science teacher at Everett Middle School and Wallenberg High School - anything to keep the debate going - can still be found here ...

The current show noted that Lloydie had cited the Great Barrier Reef Marine Park Authority in his defence first time around ... "which of course is the authority behind all this year's warnings" - and ended with a note that the reptiles of Oz had declined to respond or explain the lack of coverage by them and Lloydie ... so "... our guess is it just doesn't fit their narrative."

But that implies there is a narrative.

What on earth could that narrative be?

Well as the pond anxiously waits for the injured Lloydie to reply, to lash back, marvellous Moorice has stepped up this day to explain and confirm the reptile narrative ...

The pond has been here many times before, and is frequently honoured and delighted that one of the world's greatest climate scientists should become a decorative ornament on its pages ...

Now as usual with Moorice, it's worthwhile having a few facts at the ready to supplement his astonishing and immaculate science. 

It is, for example, exceptionally pleasing to note that as a result of rising CO2, the planet will get better and better in every way, and will be able to feed more people than ever, and we need spare not a thought for any other minor consequences ... such as ocean acidification, rising seas, more variable weather, melting ice caps, droughts, and so on and so forth ...

All this is mere desiderata compared to Moorice's grand vision of a giving planet ...

As for the matter of Hazelwood, we should mourn the loss of brown coal, and cluck at these idle statistics ...

That was back in September 2016 in The Conversation here, and the pond does apologise for introducing something closer to reality, because we have much more Moorice to get through, and much more data to misrepresent, distort and malign ...

And there, in a nutshell, is the reptile of Oz's narrative, distilled and laid bare by eminent climate scientist Moorice ...

Climate denialism, replete with climate science conspiracy thinking, full blooded, full throated, rip roaring, nostril snorting, as loud and as subtle as a Harley exhaust pipe.

A grand spouting of the usual nonsense and tripe, as if Moorice and the reptiles alone had the science and the understanding ... though the pond is disappointed to note that there is still no resolution to the question of whether it's a United Nations world government conspiracy or a Chinese government world government conspiracy ...

And that's the company Lloydie travels with, supports, and provides comfort to ...

How a gesture in Peru is designed to fix this level of malignant fuckwittery is beyond the pond ...

Let's hope that Lloydie avoids looking into mirrors and or at paintings of himself ...

The consciousness of degradation? That's not a bad alternative narrative ...

In which the pond suffers from a return of Tourette Syndrome, induced by a condition known as copper Caterism, for which grants are the only known cure ...

These days the lizard Oz frequently saunters beyond the valley of the caricature. 

A large cyclone is bearing down on Queensland, putting thousands in peril. So what do the reptiles lead with as a story? Safety fears at Christian charities ...oh, and look over there on the right, there's a cyclone ...

And on the digital pages there's more of the usual obsessions ...

And then came further confirmation that the reptiles would breathlessly report on the onion muncher with an EXCLUSIVE if he farted or wiped the snot from his nose ...

Did they bother reporting any other minor back bencher's opinion?

Why do you ask?

And there were other things, the usual Islamic hysteria, and a SPECIAL INVESTIGATION which simply reported on the result of all the fucking useless fucking hysteria by the Murdochian reptiles in relation to the NBN over recent years, which has seen a vast amount of fucking useless money spent on useless fucking copper ...

You fucking useless luddites, take the fucking credit for all you've accomplished with your celebration of hybrids and your downgrading of fibre to preserve an antiquated future for Foxtel ... 

You helped dud Australia. At least person up and take responsibility ...

But before the pond has an anxiety attack about the return of its Tourette Syndrome, it's time for a relaxing canter through this week's Caterist contribution ...

It conforms to that fantastic genre, "things we cannot afford", which the pond noticed was in full flower when it googled the Caterist text ...

And so on and on, about the things we cannot afford. 

And so to the Caterist, whom the pond can only manage to afford by googling ...

Indeed, indeed. Might the pond lower its expectations of what citizens, the Caterists, the reptiles of Oz and the Menzies RC  might reasonably expect from government?

Like cash in the paw grants in aid? In aid of what? Bloody blathering Caterists?

Talk about an impediment to growth ...

What's the bet that the Caterist will next rub the pond's nose in the disgrace that is the NBN, the result of much Murdochian campaigning to reduce the notion of fibre to rubble?

The NBN? Remember this from the Caterists back in 2013, hailed by the likes of the Bolter as visionary?

Actually it's called building infrastructure. It's not an unusual activity for government, as the roads and the wires outside the pond's house routinely remind the pond, and as it recalls when it turns on a tap or flushes a fucking toilet ...

Of course every so often, the government does fuck it up, and that's why the tooth fairy does keep coming back each year, giving out gifts to bludgers ...

Yes, that's bloody good evidence of the tooth fairy returning each year to drop a handsome coin under the Caterist's bedside glass of water ...

As for the rest, somehow the pond has built to peak irritation point with the useless bloody reptiles this day...  probably arising from that talk of NBN speed when it seems all that was needed was just to drop a bloody cable in the basement. 

Welcome to the reptile idea of the futurist NBN ...

And so to the final Caterist gobbet

We should start by cutting statins, or slashing government services?

How about we start with this useless, mindless bloody waste of public money?

Fuck all the rent-seekers, and the government grant blood suckers and the Caterist leeches living off the public teat, and while the pond's in full Tourette flight, fuck the reptiles for enabling, facilitating, condoning and applauding the degutting of the NBN ... and fuck their cheek for now mounting a special investigation in all they helped bring about ...

Well there's a few things that are still in the teapot that the pond can save on ... given that it's banished all Murdochian product from the house - yes, everything has once again gone and the pond is Murdoch skinny ...

Any company advertising on a Murdochian website might be a good starting point ...

It's moments like these that the pond needs a little medical assistance, and being allergic to statins, it's time to gulp down a relieving Rowe, with more Rowe guaranteed to provide relief available here ...