In which reptiles do ghosting and the pond ends up in Norman Rockwell land with the floodwaters soothsayer, comical Claire and the Major ...

 

The pond had expected the reptiles to pay some attention to what went down in US politics over the weekend - perhaps even offer an apology for News Corp's part in the folly, not to mention the Chairman's Faux Noise - but this morning's tree killer edition ghosted the whole sorry affair, and simply featured a bunch of malarkey having a laugh with Albo ...

The ghosting was also a feature of the digital edition, with nary a mention at top of the page ...

Astonishing really, this ghosting, and there was nary a mention in the comments section as well. 

The pond says all this by way of explaining how ghosting works at News Corp, and why the pond was left with the same old, same old, and why there was no cue for running some celebratory cartoons, and instead how the pond was left with the Caterist explaining how it was all the fault of young women ...

It is, of course, incredibly funny... the sight of the soothsayer of flood waters in quarries blathering about women, especially young women who wouldn't have the first clue who the doddering old fart and third rate sociology student is ... but it's been a trend for some time, as noted in this ancient 2016 Rolling Stone interview with author Rebecca Traister under the header Why Conservatives Are Terrified of Single Women ... (paywall but can be googled)

Of course ... Norman Rockwell. The floodwaters soothsayer has never left the 1950s or caught up with all the memes ...

Another gobbet before we get back to the floodwaters soothsayer ...

And so on, and what fond memories of Rick - sssh, don't mention native Americans - but back to the lamenting, lamentable if you will, quarry floodwater soothsayer ...

The pond knew it wouldn't be long before Ming the Merciless would come in to it, and it just so happens that the pond's logarithms threw up a Young Turks piece on YouTube ...

The pond usually never pays attention to the YT mob ... but as the pitch revealed, it was downright weird ...

Right-wingers like Jordan Peterson and Ben Shapiro tell disaffected young men that they should get married ASAP but in a really creepy way. 

And it was really creepy, but we have our own creeps, thank you very much, and they can do it in their very own creepy way ...

And that's how desperate and pitiful far right, barking mad extremist politics has become ... get women to do a little typing in the typing pool, before catching the eye of an aspiring wannabe Caterist, getting pregnant and married (not necessarily in that order) and then voting for Ming the Merciless for life, undiluted icing on floodwaters in quarries cake ...

But at least there are some women who want to join in that sublime Caterist comedy. Come on down comical ally Claire ...

That opening line indulging in a bit of TG bashing says everything about where comical Claire is coming from ... and she never deviates from her deviation ...

Eek, women are swamping the world and castrating men and where will it all end? Well just to show how much fearful men want to pander to aggressive, controlling women, the reptiles even allowed comical Claire a link to the outside world ...

Usually the reptiles abhor links and want the readership to live in a closed bubble, isolated from anything but reptile reality, so that perhaps news of the Senate results in the United States might disappear into a vacuum ... or into a Graudian story as the mango Mussolini still looms large ...

But this link is in aid of women who do and say the right thing ...

What else? Well there was an exceptionally fawning and remarkable piece of self-congratulation from Michael Miller at the way the reptiles had amazingly adapted to digital disruption and become digital winners, and he even awarded himself and his fellow reptiles a reptile-devised blue star ...

It's one of those fudged, meaningless numbers (the graphics department couldn't even complete the circle), and the pond will believe the reptiles when they stop publishing tree killer editions ...

Come on Mr Miller, kill off the tree killer lizard Oz and then we can talk about digital disruption.

Instead, we're lumbered with the same old tired relics and dinosaurs, and is there anyone more antediluvian than the Major?

It's a toss-up which is a more nauseating read, the Miller or the Major (movie title copyrighted to the pond), but the pond settled, as it always does, for the Major, doing what he always does, celebrate dinkum sweet innocent Oz coal and the destruction of the planet ...

That line about using fear to create political and media consensus is not so far from the early screechings of Dame Slap and "Lord" Monckton about the UN using climate science to introduce world government by Xmas ... but the Major always hastens to remind us that climate science is actually the fault of the likes of the ABC and the Graudian ...

Ah there you go, a link to an in house piece, because the reptiles don't want you to leave the stables, and get a smell of air free of Major horseshit ... because then you might miss the Major message ... and naturally that involves quoting the Bjorn-again one ... because there's never been a better on message reptile climate scientist (if you omit that bit about there being science involved) ...

Does the Major see anything wrong with lining up besides the likes of sociopathic Vlad the Terrible, or Xi the dictator?

Is there any point in Australia taking a different path than the one charted by autocratic dictators?

Of course not, they do the sort of governing the Major loves, and they're cheerfully fucking, not just Ukraine, but the entire planet, and the Major is all for it, because if someone loves dinkum clean innocent virginal Oz coal, can they be truly terrible?

No doubt Michael Miller will be awarding himself another blue medal for keeping this sort of crap behind a paywall, and making people pay so that the reptiles can merrily keep on being rewarded for their climate science denialism way ...

One thing the pond never understands and the Major never explains. If climate science is all codswallop, and everything is fine, why should we bother with nuking the planet? What's this thing he has about uranium? Shouldn't he be happy burning coal and gas until the cows come home (or the chickens head off to roost?)

Don't expect the Major to work it all out. He lives in a Norman Rockwell painting, and so it's with relief that the pond can end on a David Rowe cartoon ....

And given that last Major line about expanding islands and all being well in the Pacific, here's an infallible Pope for the neighbours ...