In which the pond returns to the usual interminable rambling at the lizard Oz ...

 

So here's one place the pond won't be going this day ...

It was on the top of the digital page yesterday, and no doubt can be found today for anyone who can be fucked looking ...

This, on top of this request by the learned judge, not a day old, and forced to deal with a jury member who at the least should have been charged with contempt of court...

Higgins was ill-advised to speak after the trial was aborted, but what excuse does Dame Slap have to offer?

What a wretched and pathetic outing, of the kind you might expect from a jihadist ideologue without the slightest interest in a seemly response to a polite judicial request ... 

"Some respite from the intense glare of the media that has been pervasive in this trial"? 

Not in Planet Janet's world far above the faraway tree. Instead put her image at the top of the digital page, to help sell Dame Slap and the lizard Oz to the world ...

But is there another way? Well, if a classic doggy boy outing gets the punters excited, what are the odds of Lloydie of the Amazon setting the planet on fire?

The pond should probably have started with a bit of housekeeping, which is to say that in the pond's current situation, postings are likely to be a little erratic and later in the day, but one way or another, the mail must get through ...

This is the  lizard Oz crossing the Border,

Bringing the anti-woke rants, as ancient as a postal order,

Rants for the rich, rants at the poor,

The suffering small businessman at the corner, the uppity hussy next door.

Pulling up Polonius, a steady climb:

The gradient's against him but he's on Ming the merciless time.

Past festering Lloydie denialist and moorland "Ned" boulder

Shovelling white steam from innocent Oz coal over shoulder,

Snorting noisily as they pass

Noisy miles of wind-bent shameless arse.

Birds turn their heads as they approach,

Stare from bushes at the blank-faced Murdochian slow coaches.

Sheep-dogs cannot turn their course;

They slumber on with paws across.

In the farm "Ned" passes, no one wakes,

But a jug in a bedroom gently shakes... (apologies to W H Auden, the longer original here, and yes, the pond should leave this to experts in the field)

Well it'll be on with the gently shaking jug in due and proper course, but back to Lloydie, though everyone knows where this is heading, to Argentina, perhaps by way of Greece ...

What's all this wailing? Surely climate science is just the fever dream of religious zealots? Surely Lloydie can straighten all this out, in much the same way that he saved the Amazon ...

Some might think the planet is comprehensively fucked, but when climate science is just the fever dream of a few religious zealots, anything is possible ...  though of course the reptiles must embellish the gobbet with a shot of a coal-fired plant doing its best for the planet ...

Well Lloydie of the Amazon has never wavered, unless you call the spreading of FUD a form of wavering ...

There then, all's the best in the best of all possible worlds ... dinkum clean Oz coal is triumphant, the reptiles have won, nothing has been done or accomplished, Lloydie has done his bit, Chairman Xi has the matter in hand, and so the world can look forward to ever-increasing signs of Murdochian victory ...

There’s “no credible pathway to 1.5C in place” today, the UN Environment Programme (UNEP) insisted in a new report, despite legally binding promises made at the 2015 Paris Climate Conference to prevent average temperatures rising by more than 1.5C above pre-industrial levels.
Uncomfortable truth
“This report tells us in cold scientific terms what nature has been telling us all year, through deadly floods, storms and raging fires: we have to stop filling our atmosphere with greenhouse gases, and stop doing it fast,” said Inger Andersen, Executive Director of UNEP.
“We had our chance to make incremental changes, but that time is over. Only a root-and-branch transformation of our economies and societies can save us from accelerating climate disaster.”
Despite Nationally Determined Contributions (NDC) promises made by governments in favour of reducing their carbon footprint, pledges made since the last climate summit in Glasgow in 2021 will lead to cuts of less than one per cent of projected 2030 greenhouse gas emissions, according to UNEP.
Paltry reductions
This is the equivalent of just 0.5 gigatonnes of CO2, UNEP calculated, adding that only a 45 per cent emissions reduction will limit global warming to 1.5C.
As it stands today, latest data indicates that the world is on track for a temperature rise of between 2.4C and 2.6C by the end of this century.
“In the best-case scenario, full implementation of unconditional NDCs and additional net-zero emissions commitments point to only a 1.8C increase, so there is hope. However, this scenario is not currently credible based on the discrepancy between current emissions, short-term NDC targets and long-term net-zero targets,” UNEP said. (more here)

Yep, and meanwhile the sociopathic Vlad the Terrible fucks over Ukraine, with the same spirit that the Murdochians routinely fuck over climate science. What glorious summers there will be for York and the planet ...

And so on to Polonius, who these days prefers to stay back in the times of Ming the Merciless ...

The pond suddenly thought less of the ANU, but leaving that aside, gorgeous George should have known he had no business writing about Ming the Merciless without first receiving full Polonial approval.

In the next gobbet, Polonius turns to Alex Antic, a genuine loon, without capturing the richness of flavour in the loonery, as could be observed here ... so spoiler alert, an early warning ...

That obligatory mention of "wokeness" is the loon cherry on the loon cake, because anyone who has bothered to read the bible will remember that Christ was fully woke ... though the wokeness can take odd forms ...

Sorry, that was early in the pond's return to reading Polonius. First time back with Polonius for awhile, and the immediate urge was to go elsewhere for a laugh ...

Now on with the Antics and the Malware ...

We've all been there before ...

REG: Right. You're in. Listen. The only people we hate more than the Labor party are the fucking sopping wet liberal Ming the Merciless People's Front.

P.F.J.: Yeah...

JUDITH: Splitters.

P.F.J.: Splitters...

FRANCIS: And the Menzies Popular Terribly Wet People's Front.

P.F.J.: Yeah. Oh, yeah. Splitters. Splitters...

LORETTA: And the People's Front of the foaming wet Cinque Ports.

P.F.J.: Yeah. Splitters. Splitters...

REG: What?

LORETTA: The Polonial Front of Ming the Merciless devotees. Splitters.

REG: We're the Polonial Front of Ming the Merciless devotees!

LORETTA: Oh. I thought we were the Popular Front.

REG: People's Front! C-huh.

FRANCIS: Whatever happened to the Polonial Front, Reg?

REG: He's over there.

P.F.J.: Splitter! 

And so on and on ... and now in Polonius's own words, as assorted splitters, deviants, heretics and ne'er do well are sorted out ...

Talk about a completely vacuous and pointless piece, with a conclusion so self-evident, you have to wonder about Polonius's sanity. 

No one would know what a dead Norwegian Blue parrot thinks about today's Liberal party? Well d'uh, but does anyone know what Polonius thinks he's thinking today?

There's at least some fair evidence in all that introspection that Polonius isn't the brightest ball of bees' wax in the hive ...

And so to the Everest known as "Ned", and the pond only offers it so that those who feel the need for a climb can get a little work-out ...

Okay, the pond has said it many times before, but must say it again. This was the web version, found on the web, and the pond opened the web version, and what's the fucking point of that message?

Second, the pond has some budget cartoons left over thanks to the break, and so will use them up, beginning with an infallible Pope ...

It won't help with the climb, but it might lighten the "Ned" load ...

Okay, the reptiles threw in a Lobbecke, making the pond wonder whether the cult master was making a return, because the reptiles knew that struggling through a "Ned" outing couldn't be done without cartoon relief ...

And the pond was happy to match that with an immortal Rowe ...

And now back to "Ned", as always doing his Chicken Little impression ...

Indeed, there's nothing like leadership over empathy ...

Around this point in the saga, the pond always wonders if anyone pays attention to this portentous, sententious bore, issuing orders, advice and instructions in no particular order, all the time shouting that the sky is about to fall ...

Not the missing link ...

By golly, when the pond looked at that portrait, it was hard to tell if it was of a potato or of "Ned" ...

... and still with three gobbets to go!

Not to worry, it's all under control ... Dr Jim is in the clinic ...

Meanwhile back to "Ned" being given a headache by things like wages and taxes ...

And there's a line which sticks in the pond's craw. "Labor needs to break the psychology of easy spending that arose during the period - but the jury is out on whether it possesses the conviction to do the job."

That's the way it goes with "Ned" - Labor must, or Labor needs to, or blather about convictions, but the pond can't remember "Ned" carrying on like that when SloMo and his wretched band of rorters and spendthrifts were at the peak of their game ...

Where were the "musts" and "needs" when the gloom-laden sod saw the Liberals throwing the economy under the bus.

Here's part of a piece back on 17th December 2021 ... when it was all part of a changing world and the needs of the people and yadda yadda ...

And to make matters worse, here's "Ned" celebrating a foreign policy chenius ...

And so here we are, and it's left to others to try to put Humpty Dumpty back together again ...

What a tedious old bore he is, but there, a few will have climbed the Everest, and the pond can celebrate by catching up with an infallible Pope celebrating domitable Dom at his finest ...