In which the reptiles flail about at great length, with the dog botherer, the bromancer and nattering "Ned" to hand to do the flailing ...

 

For some reason, the pond seems more able to digest the dog botherer's rantings of late. 

It's possibly because the frothing and foaming, the fulminations, come from a place of comical impotence ... and so each outing is now an excuse for mirth ...

Take today's effort ... go on, take it, because the pond exploded with the opening line ...

There you go. The pond insists on repeating it. The chief climate science denialist at the lizard Oz - there are many contenders - wonderfully starts off with "science denial is rampant in the climate and energy debate."

It took considerable effort for the pond to pick itself up off the floor, dust itself off and continue ... but there was another great line in the last gobbet, and so the pond had to make its way there ...

You can perhaps now see why the pond found this morning's fulminations so funny. How many times can the dog botherer tilt at the windmills of the green-left media, Twitter and the woke corporate set? Where did all that past carry on get him? Why a brand new federal government ...

Speaking of windmills, after that snap of a mountain of glorious, dinkum, decent, totally innocent Oz coal, naturally the reptiles would slip in a snap of said satantic windmills, churning the country towards ruination ...

What of clouds of something pouring from a plant? The pond is glad someone asked, but we must wait patiently ...

And so the poor lad continues, frothing and foaming, and it's water off the pond's back, but at last we get to that shot the reptiles love - innocent fumes pouring out into the ether ... a bit like the fumes wafting from the toxic sludge of the dog botherer's rant ...

That caption was pretty nifty too, and the pond can't resist repeating it: "The facts about net zero are obvious and incontestable, according to science."

Why that's just one step away from "The facts about life are obvious and incontestable, according to the bible."

But that's just the monumental stupidity of the caption scribbler quoting the dog botherer's monumental stupidity, and ignoring the follow-up ...

Thar she blows ..."The facts about net zero are obvious and incontestable, according to science. To start, net zero is inevitable ... and we must nuke the country and nuke the planet in order to save it and the villages ..."

The pond is sometimes almost tempted to take to Twitter, because the medium irritates the dog botherer so, and because he's such a fuckwit, he managed an epic flame out with his wittering twittering ... but for the moment, his return to sublime comedy is enough, with the notion that the mutton Dutton is up for "climate realism" the capper in an enjoyable romp ...

And so to the bromancer's war on China, and warning, this is a long war, involving an epic forced march ...

Nothing will be accomplished, except perhaps the feeling that getting to the end is a remarkable achievement ...

The reptiles seem consternated and hornswoggled and a little boggled by that declaration, and it leaves the bromancer with little wriggle room, hence the long and tedious exposition that follows ....

You see? It's hard to make a meal out of "sober realism", and so the reptiles felt the need to interrupt the text with a snap of the smirking duo ... but the pond had to rule that out of order ...

There'll be no pictorial relief in this epic journey ... not until the pond can breathe a sigh of relief ...

Is the bromancer starting to turn into "Ned"? That line "He tells Inquirer", is pure distilled essence of "Ned", with the same sort of "Ned" desire to copy down the thoughts of others and turn it into a piece of bloatware exegesis ...

Still with the "tells Inquirer", but was it so long ago that the mutton Dutton was warning we needed to prepare for imminent war, and on Anzac day no less ...

The problem with Dutton’s comments lies not in the assessment of the risk, but in how the government responds to it. In the midst of a tightly contested federal election campaign, with the Coalition on the back foot, there is a great temptation to resort to fearmongering in the name of national security to shore up votes.

In the words of former US President Theodore Roosevelt, we need to “speak softly and carry a big stick”. The concern with what Dutton is doing is not that his analysis is wrong, but that his response to the threat is reckless and counterproductive. We are neither carrying a big stick nor speaking softly.

Or so Greg Barton told the inquiring pond way back when at The Conversation ...

And now, because the pond can embrace Whitmanesque contradictions, it will allow a snap of ships at sea, because the perfect meaninglessness of the snap appeals to the pond's sense of absurdity ... if you're going to do a snap of the threat posed by wannabe authoritarian dictator for life Xi, why not some goose-stepping soldiers, instead of a few ducks on the pond?

Indeed, indeed, and the pond couldn't help drift back in time to What's the point of having this superb military you're always talking about if we can't use it?' Madeleine Albright screamed at Colin Powell. Her stinging rebuke could not have been better designed to scrape a raw American nerve, challenging the nation's machismo and role as leader of the free word. Powell reacted furiously. 'I thought I would have an aneurysm,' he recalled. 'American GIs are not toy soldiers to be moved around on some global game board'. (Graudian)

What's the point of having fiercely honed Collins class subs if you're not prepared to use them?

The pond was preparing to gird its loins - perhaps we might still have a war with China by Xmas, and the mutton Dutton would be recalled to duty in a national government to lead the fight, and all would be well, with the bromancer as the government's top military advisor - no tanks! - but suddenly the pond's splendid dreaming turned to ashes with the line "War in the Indo-Pacific is avoidable."

What spoilsports, what's the point of reading all this dribble if the bromancer can't bung on a do?

At this point, the pond was nearing exhaustion ... and so allowed a short gobbet with the bromancer quoting himself in a neutered click bait video ... because it seems that after all, we're getting closer to war day by day by day by day ...

Is it wrong for the pond to yearn for the days when the lizard Oz and the bromancer and the whole tribe of reptiles routinely explained how Labor was wrong about everything? This notion of Wong understanding things is simply too odious to bear, and it didn't get any better in the final gobbet ...

Indeed, indeed, and the pond is all in favour of Radio Australia beaming into the Pacific in the manner of the BBC World Service ... you know, soft power, Quadrant, all that jazz ...

That kind of soft diplomatic power shouldn't be underestimated. 

Oh wait, what did the bromancer's first flame produce ...

Pacific Island leaders will meet at the annual Pacific Islands Forum meeting next week in Palau. Prime Minister Abbott has cancelled his travel plans in order to focus on the response to the MH17 disaster and is sending Deputy Prime Minister Truss in his stead.

Pacific leaders will be disappointed but will no doubt understand. What will disappoint them more is a much greater snub for the region: the decision by ABC management to slash Radio Australia's capacity and services. This decision will diminish Australia's leadership and influence and do long term damage to both political and people-to-people relationships.

As a result of the loss of the Australia Network contract and other budget cuts, ABC management is making swingeing cuts to the Asia Pacific News Centre and ABC International. Correspondent positions in Asia, the Pacific and in Parliament House Canberra will be abolished. The Tok Pisin (PNG) language service will be cut to just three staff — this for a country which has just been elevated in the Australian Government's foreign policy priorities, where the economy is growing at record pace, and where radio remains king.

Editorial and technical staff for the popular Pacific Beat program will be reduced. A six-hour per day television service will be syndicated in the region but its primary news program, The World, is due to be broadcast late at night and early in the morning in the Pacific. Given the television audience in the Pacific is already limited to the urban elite, this is of questionable value.

While ABC management stresses that news services will remain, it's hard to see who will produce the stories that feed the news. By retrenching its most experienced Pacific hands as well as abolishing correspondent positions, the ABC will lose much of its capacity to report. The loss of journalistic legend Sean Dorney, who has the deepest understanding of the Pacific of any Australian journalist, will be felt deeply in the region. Presenters will likely need to rely on social media sources and the internet sites of Pacific newspapers to gather news. There are quality and reliability questions around both these sources and to a significant degree they already rely on the ABC for content. (here)

And way back when in 1997, even the Irish Times felt compelled to note Radio Australia cuts service ...

Australia yesterday cut the operations of its international state-owned radio broadcaster, Radio Australia, cutting funds by two-thirds.

The cabinet decided not to abolish the service, as originally expected, but chose to cut funding to about A$7 million (£3.5 million) from more than A$23 million (£11 million), the Australian Broadcasting Corporation said. Radio Australia short-wave broadcasts in Cantonese, French, Khmer, Mandarin, Thai and Vietnamese will be axed, and Indonesian language services may also be halted.

So much for soft power, better trot out those nuclear subs on the never never lay-by plan, and hope the war is delayed, perhaps to the year 2525 ...

And now, because the reptiles are inexorable and so must be the pond, it's time for a back flip. 

The pond spent all that time with the bromancer in a state of nervous hysterical existential awareness with China an existential threat, only for "Ned" to explain that really the existential threat is inflation ... and being "Ned", that natter will go on endlessly ... but in the end, get ready for nipping, sniping "Ned" to give your pay packet a short back and sides ...

The pond can imagine the grim satisfaction "Ned" felt as he pounded on the keyboard, because doomsaying and a splendid Chicken Little impersonation are the two key planks in any "Ned" column ...

What a pity that's a snap of Tony Burke, the pond had hoped to be able to do a segue to Jim Chalmers, but what the heck, the pond will do it anyway, because already it needs a little visual relief ...

More immortal Rowe here, but that's done the job and the pond is ready for more of "Ned's" natter ...

It takes considerable skill to avoid the obvious question - how did we get here from there? Was anyone paying any attention to the road? Or the useless navigators?

Not to worry, that's what "Ned's" for, with blather about "bad news" and "the real world", as meaningless a saw as any half wit could manage ...

Ted O'Brien? There's a new one for the pond. And he's telling Inquirer, after all that time with fuckwits of the beefy boofhead Angus kind, that there's a new loon in town singing the same old song "That is theh promise I will hold them to account for ..."

 Well he's a dab hand at a cliché, the pond will give him that .. and so it's on to the next neutered click bait video, because ssshh, no mention, no need to talk of "Ned" reading out "Ned" in sonorous, portentous tones ...

How it must grieve "Ned" to make that note about the decade of denial: "... he can probably get a lot of traction with that blame game ..."

How sweet it sounded to the pond, after spending the better part of a decade watching the reptiles offer up denial after denial after de Nile ...

Sorry, the pond is feeling lightheaded and lighthearted because there's only a gobbet to go, and the drinking of the reptile tears has led to much merry-making, because even if the world fucks up tomorrow, the fuckers who got us from there to here won't be leading the way ...

The pond already knew the new reptile mantra - wage cuts and rewards for the big end of town - and despite this kind of provocation, had decided it wasn't going to mention the tragic loss of Erica ...

But it seemed a great way to farewell an inestimable twit and also prepare the way for the infallible Pope's cartoon ... and so ends this day's effort to clean out the Surry Hills stable ...