Faced with the dog botherer doing a dose of his usual climate science denialism at the top of the lizard Oz page, the pond was forced to wonder if there was any good news out there …
Perhaps Pete Evans getting the chop, perhaps mighty Tamworth once again becoming the centre of the universe?
Oh dear … but hang on a tic, wait a mo, not so fast chairman, there is good news, and you won't read it on the front page of the reptile rag, but it's been all over the Nine papers, the Graudian and Crikey …
There's more if you can get inside the paywall, but just that was enough to put the pond in a good mood, and run with the dog botherer …
The message is clear. If you want to fuck the planet, ye who enter reptile Valhalla of denialism must abandon all hopes of shared international obligations …
But wait, you ask, was there any good news about Sky, occasional home of the dog botherer? It turns out that there was …
Less than three million subscribers in a population heading towards 25 million. The pond can report with some grim satisfaction that it seems the virus is being contained …
But what about the pond, spreading the virus, aiding in the contamination? Well, it's a dirty job, but someone has to demonstrate reptile thinking to the world ...
Fuck it, it has to be said, he's a moron, but did anybody else gloat in the unseemly way that the pond has been gloating? They did, they did …
Bill, oh Bill, no mention of the dog botherer amongst that illustrious array? Never mind, it gets even weirder when the dog botherer gets to talking about sex ...
Remember the good old days when the dog botherer was just a straight-out climate science denialist setting all sets of hares loose, as in a piece on 27th November 2011?
Comical really, the cry for an open-minded, informed and objective debate, when, to echo a Cold Chisel song, the dog botherer's mind has always been closed … didn't the dog botherer assert in his headline to his piece this day that "science is clear on climate and the pandemic"?
It seems way back when the science wasn't clear at all, at least in the fog-laden brain of the dog botherer. Oh no, there were uncertainties, and variabilities and implications, from the grandstanding one ...
But at least the pond has reached the final gobbet …and it's short …more good news
Science suggests we cannot come up with a vaccine for global warming?
The pond apologises. Did the pond just call the dog botherer moronic?
The pond deeply apologises to morons everywhere …and promises not to defame morons in the future, and will even foreswear the use of sub-moronic, but speaking of the need for a segue ...
Yes, Dame Slap is at it again, when really it would be a lot simpler if she just said that she wanted all the student sheep to fall in line with the IPA and Gina and Dame Slap herself, and baa baa away at the top of the faraway tree …
Now of course the pond knows what sort of university Dame Slap prefers …
Sorry, the pond has put on its MAGA hat, and will continue the Dame Slap waltz ...
Dear sweet long absent lord, one of the pond's favourite memories is of a highlander Scottish lecturer shredding a dinkum student with a lowland Scottish name to pieces in a tutorial about the Hundred Years War - no guessing at his bias, or how that tutorial went down.
Is it wrong to suggest that these millennial sooks need to harden the fuck up? Or is that the pond sounding too Dame Slap ...
Okay, okay, it always shows, the pond is bored with Dame Slap, and would like to draw attention to the way that the reptiles still gather and hunt in packs, as was the way of certain of their dinosaur forebears … because what do you know, this was the Cut and Paste for the weekend ...
What's interesting about this? No, it's not that talk about an insidious virus. The pond has already made a joke about the reptile virus being contained.
What's compelling is that the piece has no author, there's no name attached. There wasn't a name on the splash, and there isn't a name on this feeble assembly of cuttings.
Could the slash and burn be already having an impact? Remember the halcyon days when a Rebecca Weisser was proud to assemble this sort of nonsense?
Here have a cartoon …
And so to a little burst of anonymous xenophobia, though without in any way being xenophobic ...
Impeccable logic. Useless foreigners should rack off, but useless locals who don't make the cut should be cut a little slack and embraced, as a certain way of lifting standards …
When did Dame Slap's school above the faraway tree go so soft? Surely it's right to don the MAGA cap and follow in the footsteps of the greatest university of all?
But that brings the pond back to that Cut and Paste pursuing the same theme as Dame Slap in this weekend edition, and a final gobbet of same …
Dear sweet long absent lord …the Oreo, dashing Donners, and bald recyclings of headlines? That's the best the reptiles can do?
Oh it's not the reptile rag it once was …
Indeed, indeed …but an even bigger disgrace is that the reptiles still refuse to acknowledge at the bottom of her columns that Dame Slap is actually a shill for the IPA, and Gina, and the rest of the far right mob that love the freedom to smoke tobacco and inhale asbestos and such like …while doing a MAGA cap wearing dance with the Donald.
Luckily the pond has learned a few lessons about what that means ...
Spot the contrived slogan?
ReplyDelete"There's no such thing as safe" ?
DeleteNeat way of hiding the link though - took me a while to notice that.
DP - thank you again for predigesting the ‘work’ of the Associate Editor (National Affairs). Glancing down what appeared under his name, I came to ‘ this stuff is trite and superficial. It is a level of political advocacy that demeans their case,’ and I thought - Ah, that reads like an editor’s comment, which was not removed before publication. But, no, seems it is part of - I was going to write ‘his stream of consciousness’ but we have debated if one needs to be conscious to churn out these columns. Probably better not to be.
ReplyDeleteThe real interest of the day was raised by my source, who remarked on the Lobbecke. I don’t know if there are others, but apparently there is one today, which is a compilation of suggestions from readers, sent in at the invitation of the Cult Master.
I asked the source why she did not tell me that the Cult Master was soliciting inspirations. Surely, I argued, an artist has the inspiration, then produces the work. She ignored that rhetorical to ask if I wanted to send the Master my own suggestions. No - but did any come from a someone who might have identified as ‘Kez’? She thought not, adding that the completed work suggested the style of Hieronymous Bosch, although not, as far as she could determine, a triptych.
My apology, DP, if you were holding this seminal work over for your own analysis later in the weekend, but it is not common for my source to delve into the Lobbecke.
Other Anonymous.
Well it's quite clear that the Doggy Bov is a very "decoupled" person: the only comment he ever makes about any Australian attempt to reduce its 'greenhouse gas' emissions is that it won't save the planet. And of course it won't of and by itself - but then even if China reduced its emissions to zero tomorrow, that wouldn't save the planet by itself either; is that an argument for allowing China to do nothing ?
ReplyDeleteAfter all, it wasn't the Chinese who transferred the major emission-producing parts of the world's manufacturing cycle to China, was it. But if Australia was to stop its emissions it would:
1. stop us from continuing to do a very bad thing.
2. stop us from continuing to create serious atmospheric pollution - after all pollution from coal mining and burning is only responsible for about 3000 Australian deaths per year, so not worth wasting time on:
https://www.stopadani.com/coal_kills
3. motivate us to reform our energy technology - especially by proceeding with the advanced hydrogen technology that even ScottyfromMarketing is funding.
But don't worry, none of those things will ever penetrate the invincible barrier of moronic certainty that shields the Bovvy-boi.
And as for 'The Girl From the IPA', what can be said ? If her supposed 'academic informer' really wants to remain anonymous, then maybe "she" shouldn't have included so much detail that, if real, would certainly have allowed any number of colleagues - not all of whom would be sympathisers - to identify her. So I'll just go with the proposition that if you won't put your name to it, than there's no reason why anybody should pay any attention to it.
The girl from IPA? Each time she passes, each one she passes says “argh!”
DeleteThe thing is GB, most of the Dog Botherer's blather doesn't need to be addressed. You only need to look at the cost argument. If renewables are the cheapest form of energy there is no trade off, DB needs to explain why you would pick the higher cost option with the worst outcome.
DeleteTrue if you mean pointing things out to Doggy Bov, Bef, there's just no way of getting through the cast iron barriers around his mind. So what I'm basically doing, is taking the opportunity, by seemingly responding, to organise my own thinking.
DeleteI think that is what we are doing most of the time. Therapy really!
DeleteI read the doggies piece this morning and was typically appalled at his complete lack of logic or clear thought. It's particularly egregious when he claims to be applying the science and using facts etc to come to his conclusions. Quite honestly, if his thesis was presented in a year 10 science class I would hope the teacher would take him aside and recommend he pursue an arts degree.
ReplyDeleteAs bad and depressing as reading his tripe is, it is even worse to read the comments under the article. If DP classes doggy as sub-moronic where do you place his sycophantic followers? Here is a very small sample of what the zombies write about his "logic"
Chris is one of the few voices of reason.
Great article Chris, you’ve nailed it!
It is always a pleasure to read Chris Kenny’s articles and this is one of his best
Another excellent piece from Chris Kenny..............Brilliant logic as well !
It saddens me to read things like that. Are people that devoid of logical thought?
Yes. And always have been. And I don't see that any improvements are happening.
DeleteAnd rather than an arts degree - which does actually require some intelligence - I would have recommended he take up the garbo's profession, especially as they don'r even have to pock up the bins nowadays.
Dame Slap in a couple of sentences
ReplyDeleteI'm not xenophobic but we need to focus on Australian students
Australian universities using Chinese money to boost their rankings. This in turns attracts more foreign students but somehow leaves the locals with a poorer education.
***WARNING*** unpopular opinion may follow...
ReplyDeleteThus speculateth the pond:
"...perhaps mighty Tamworth once again becoming the centre of the universe?"
..because a bunch of Nyoye Zeelunder frotbrawlers chose to up the general level of violence in the local area? I'm sure the locals at the Imperial Hotel (and elsewhere) could carry on with their boofaroonie without any assistance from those blow-ins from across the Detch.
Anyhow... In my experience, Tamworth would half-qualify for being the centre of the galaxy. That is: it's a hole, but not a black hole.
It goes back to when I blew up my car's engine south of Tamworth on the Australia Day weekend in 1974. The guy to whom the NRMA dragged my car couldn't get his head around the idea that a 19-year-old longhair could possibly be able to pay for the repairs involved, and so tried to steal my car from me.
Never mind that I had been working two jobs for the previous year, and had $2,000 ($18,000 in today's money) in the bank. Funnily enough, he didn't ask me about my financial position.
My grandfather arranged for my car to be transported back to the ancestral village of Lismore, via being backloaded on a beer truck bound for Grafton. (Tamworthians; can't even brew their own beer.) Back to a school chum's father's garage, just in time for the record-breaking 1974 flood...
Personally, I blame Barnaby Joyce. He was six years old at the time, but the Gnats like to get 'em young.
Greetings OA. I can happily assure you I am not a contributor to the CM’s experiment in democratic drawing, the hideous results of which can be found in the Oz’s Weekend Review. I was tempted at one stage to send in something ludicrous (Lobbeckrous?) as a sick joke until I quickly realised I could never match the sublime stupidity of some (most) of the reader’s suggestions.
ReplyDeleteLobbecke’s idea follows on from his thesis on creating art using random thoughts for inspiration and he has no doubt taken inspiration from the Surrealist device of “The Exquisite Corpse”. But, as a wise man once said, “between the idea and the reality lies the shadow”. Failing to draw inspiration from his contributor’s loony suggestions, the CM simply gives up and arranges them all into a gaudy gallimaufry of utter banality.
For example, for the latest concoction where the theme was “Back to the Beach” some of the suggestions put forward by the cult master’s throng were as follows - a “sand man with seaweed hair and driftwood nose is acting as Doctor Pacific”, a “sea shanty ducky”, a “police sea-horse”, “sharks” “puffer fish”, a “Covid-19 crab” and a “NUCLEUS weapon virus”. I cannot bring myself to pass direct comment on any of these suggestions! I feel more comfortable expressing my thoughts on this subject in a near-rhymed ‘limericky’ manner…
An uninspired scribbler named Lobbecke
Whilst ruminating over his covfefe
Thought Oz readers he’d ask
To help with his task
But he should’ve just had a lobotomy
For the pictures turned out even worse
Than the artist’s original works
As the readers were morons
With no talent to draw on
Who wouldn’t know art from their arse
To imagine a sea shanty ducky
You’d have to be some breed of fuckwit
And sea-horse police
Are beyond all belief
But who the hell’s Doctor Pacific?
If you ever find out, do let us know. Google wasn't at all forthcoming, but it did offer appointments at Doctors @ Pacific Fair. A little far for me to travel, though.
DeleteHmm: "Who wouldn't know art from their arse" - well spotted Kez :-)
Cheers, GB. That question was purely rhetorical. Doctor Pacific was a suggestion of one of Lobbecke’s 'idea' contributors acknowledged in the commentary accompanying the resultant 'artwork'. He notes: “Losoya doesn’t like the freezing sand run between the towel on the beach and the water. Her sand man with seaweed hair and driftwood nose is acting as doctor Pacific, with primitive tools to fight a virus.”
DeleteThe cult master’s response to this seriously cabin-fevered prompt was to construct a truly pathetic figure that is nothing more than a sand-coloured version of that boring default snowman beloved of all hack North American cartoonists. The sheer inanity of the suggestions and Lobbecke’s perfunctory renderings defy description but do serve to underscore the moronic stuff the Oz happily accepts as art.
If you dare you could visit the (unpaywalled) work in progress page here https://www.theaustralian.com.au/arts/review/eric-lobbeckes-work-in-progress/news-story/a0fa819d336707f96dd42b7294a4ecc1
but I must warn you there be much brain cell murdering content – especially the schoolmarmy voice narrating the video – it could very well be Dame Slap herself!
My apologies GB, I just checked that bloody link and it took me straight to the dreaded paywall!
Delete