Would you like a little cinnamon to go with your lizard Oz and your Oreo?

 

Extraordinary days at the lizard Oz … so extraordinary the pond had to pinch itself to reaffirm its wokeness.

"Renewables crucial"? And yet only yesterday the pond received a letter from Energy Australia advising "Your energy rates are changing."

What they meant to say was "Your energy rates are going up", but Energy Australia loves its Orwellian corporate double speak.

And why were they going up? Perhaps because of "renewables", the bane of the reptile world? Nope, they'd just made the difficult decision that they'd stick 'em up because they could, and that was that, with a muttering about inflation, and only "fuck you" and "fuck your household" missing from the missive, but what with the timing, implied all the same …

And with that off its chest, the pond turned to the lizard Oz editorialist, offering up some splendid waffle …

"Agile federalism"?

What a beauty, what a zinger, what a hum dinger … and with a subtlety not to be found in a line like "SloMo reluctantly getting off his arse" … and it turns out, the lizard Oz still maintaining that reluctance ...

How desperate is all this?

Well yesterday the pond discovered the joys of "hole in the bucket" Henry, trotting out the usual climate science denialism dressed up in bushfire action rags, and today the reptiles resort to the "hole in the bucket" man again ...

So there you have it. In an editorial expressly warning against blame shifting between levels of government, the reptiles manage to blame state governments and a failure to do burning …

Like the blather about renewables - suddenly the government and the reptiles discover renewables - and like the blather about reducing electricity prices - great timing, Energy Australia - it's all a mealy-mouthed pile of horseshit.

And speaking of horseshit, just below the talk of renewables, careless readers who could care less what the reptiles have to say about anything might have missed that recovering feminist the Oreo, returning to the fray ...

Ah, the Oreo, back in the day, the Oreo was a spicy part of the pond diet, and usually the pond couldn't resist inserting an accompanying treat …

Would you like a steak madam, or perhaps some sushi? Fuck it, I'm an American, only if it comes with cinnamon …

Well, dear reader, please imagine a little cinnamon as you sup on the hot and spicy Oreo below … because, of course, it's all the fault of greenies ...

Actually that lie Australia is built on is just around the corner, coming up January 26th, so it's hardly surprising an indigenous writer would make that point, while noting the sundry lies about climate change, including the assorted lies spread around the social media world by the scribblers at the lizard Oz …

Actual bald-faced, shameless distortions about arsonists and data that were an attempt at distraction, and unless living in the mind world of the Donald, could only be called lies …oh, and then there was Craig Kelly ...

But the pond has already been down that path, and talking about the lies just keeps giving them some needless attention, which is unnecessarily distracting, because now the Oreo wants to get into how her bushfire experience gives her some authority in all sorts of matters ...

Well yes, it's Australia, but the pond is not going to get into the game of who has suffered the most in a bushfire, because right at the moment, there are people with more direct experience of what a bushfire can do to homes, possessions, and loved ones … and it turns out this sharing of her shock by the recovering feminist is really just a feint, a distraction, so she can get to the ideological point ...

Ah there it comes, the talk of back burning and fuel loads …

As if we haven't already been down this path before, as noted in the local Nine newspaper here ... 

As Commissioner Fitzsimmons spoke to the ABC, Nationals MP Barnaby Joyce was on Sunrise and urged more hazard reduction burns.

"Have you seen a footpath on fire? No, because there is nothing there to burn. Have you seen a massive fire that kills people on grounds [where] there is no fuel load? People get terribly hurt but you can control it," he said.

There was a cartoon for Barners ..

And in the same piece there were comments from people more informed than Barners or the Oreo ...

On Tuesday, Victoria's Country Fire Authority's chief officer Steve Warrington said there was a "fair amount of emotion" around hazard reduction.

"The emotive argument is not supported that fuel reduction burning will fix all our problems," he said.

"Some of the hysteria that this will be the solution to all our problems is really just quite an emotional load of rubbish, to be honest."

And again ...

Hazard reductions burns are being hampered by longer fire seasons and extreme weather, Rural Fire Service Commissioner Shane Fitzsimmons says, warning the controversial technique is "not the panacea" some may be looking for to temper bushfires.

The Commissioner on Wednesday defended the RFS' record on hazard reduction burning, saying the agency was not comprised of "environmental bastards", indicating prescribed burns were done with the priorities of people, property and the environment in mind.

Commissioner Fitzsimmons said the agency had met its targets for hazard reduction in the lead-up to this bushfire season, but the "really awful" conditions across the drought-stricken state meant that fires had spread wildly regardless.

"Hazard reduction burning is really challenging and the single biggest impediment to completing hazard reduction burning is the weather," Commissioner Fitzsimmons told ABC Breakfast.

Not the panacea, but the reptiles are going to trot out this panacea yet again, along with sundry other distractions, errors and omissions, distortions, and in some cases, downright lies … cue rampaging arsonists ... all because they simply can't let go of their climate science denialism ...

There you go … classic climate science denialism. "The government does not control the weather."

But who would contend that it does? On the other hand, who in their right minds would not see the current crisis as a reason to take climate science seriously?

Okay, rhetorically, that seems to suggest the Oreo is not in her right mind. Indeed, it does. But the pond doesn't control the weather or the rightness of mind.

Is there an answer? Well, would you like some cinnamon with that?

As for that last par, it struck the pond as not sounding quite right … and so the pond, a tad presumptuously, thought it might help the Oreo with a little re-wording ...

Columnists who use bushfires to divert attention from their failure to discuss climate science and help enact global plans in relation to climate change should talk less and do more to help governments and communities in need of sensible planning for the future. Reducing emissions is something state and local governments can do as a matter of routine. It may not make for lively conversation with reptile readers or the coven of climate science denialists gathered at the lizard Oz and in Murdochian tabloids, but it will save lives, creatures, the environment and quite possibly the planet.

And on that note, it's time to hear from the infallible Pope, offering nothing burgers, apparently not even sprinkled with cinnamon …