It's been a difficult time for the reptiles this week … there was that wretched NSW minister, who suddenly turned heretic, and so required the Terror to mount a crusade.
The Canavan caravan was still doing the right thing by coal …requiring that heathens turn from the path of heresy and vow their loyalty to dinkum clean Oz coal, oi, oi, oi …
Yes, any sign of heresy must be expunged, pledges must be made, no deviation from the path allowed...
But what of Lloydie, valiant fighter and crusader for the reptiles? Alas and alack, the Graudian, in its petty, small-minded way, seemed to find great comedy in his current misfortunes …
Sweet long absent lord, stoned in the jungle surely beats a serving of dinkum clean Oz coal … and Crikey was also unkind …
Eco-resort stoush doesn't have quite the ring of getting stoned out of your gourd, bombed in the jungle, blitzed back to bliss, hippies chilling out in a freak-out haven, shamans sharpening the senses, but still …
Oh how they loved the ring of "Efrem", but it seems the Amazonian heat got too much for Lloydie, and pretty quickly, because the Graudian was showing off that happy snap of the hippie haven again in a different, more settled time …
Hadn't provided anything, not even a lease? But surely that's the hippie way, just being cool, chilling out, forget the fucking paper work, man, or is that woman, just bliss and peace and light, or we'll get the shaman on to you …
But of course all this carry-on left the reptiles high and dry at a time when all hands were needed on deck, or at least sending a fax from the jungle, about the sundry heretics out and about, causing the Canavan caravan and many others endless grief …
Was there a modest hero who might step up to the plate, an unassuming warrior without any observable traces of scientific training or scientific insights?
There was, there was …
The pond was wildly excited. Usually our man Polonius had veered away from climate science in the past … it was all too tricky.
But with Lloydie in urgent need of a hallucinogenic jungle hit, it was only right and just and proper that Polonius pick up the wayward spear and join the crusade …
In short, it's not about the science … it's all about our man Polonius seeking out the safe turf of "a historical perspective." Don't get the pond started on whether that should be "an historical perspective", there are more crucial heresies to deal with, and a hate of coal is one of them …
All this talk of carbon emissions, and showing the world an example, why are people so tedious and so unfair?
All this talk of carbon emissions, and showing the world an example, why are people so tedious and so unfair?
Oh how cruel and unkind they've all been, with the infallible Pope notoriously catching the fiddler at work ...
Thank the long absent lord that Joel is onside, and Albo is for the turning … and the reptiles can get on with important business ...
Indeed, indeed, and the only way to save the hapless jaguars is to burn more dinkum clean Australian coal! If only to remind Bolsonaro that he's on the right dinkum track ...
Meanwhile, Polonius was yet again been forced to stick his finger in the ABC dyke ...
Meanwhile, Polonius was yet again been forced to stick his finger in the ABC dyke ...
Of course you can always find some Graudian pedant to argue the point …
And there was SloMo doing his best, and that naughty David Rowe joined in …
That sharks tie particularly moved the pond, especially given the recent news on sharks … Threatened sharks and rays continue to decline in Australia …
Oh yes, Rowe was playing a tough game, taking the ball up the middle … and poor old prime Angus beef was in the line of sight …
Meanwhile, our man Polonius was still back in the past, and explaining everything in the future as some kind of Freudian projection ...
Indeed, indeed, and please, whatever you do, don't mention climate science projections about the future.
What's the point? Why get people alarmed? Just harden the fuck up, in the manner of a truly hardened Polonius …whom, it goes without saying, is a lot tougher than those enfeebled former Fairfaxians ...
And who better a climate scientist to quote in these dire times than B. A. Santamaria himself? Sheesh, in this time of religious wars, the immortal Pope had just the right cartoon …
Now some might think that by this point it's become apparent why Polonius has in the past been wise not to get tangled with climate science. Quoting B. A. Santamaria doesn't seem to have been the wisest path, and bugger it, there was a rat in the ranks, a renegade, some loon who'd taken too many hallucinogenic pills …
No, no, no minister. With Lloydie lost in the jungle, we have to listen to the soothing sounds of Polonius, explaining yet again how the ABC is a haven for hippie loons ...
It's impossible to understate how pleased the pond is, how proud. Polonius has tackled the matter of climate science, without at any point actually referencing climate science … now that's style, that's class, that's a reward for the pond's loyalty.
City dwellers have been sniped, because our man Polonius is a bushie at heart, and only works at the Sydney Institute until he can get back to his regular shearing duties, and the uppity ABC is yet again set in its place, as if listening to scientists was more useful than rereading B. A. Santamaria, and the pond relaxed, ready for a tab and a Shaman in the jungle, with the future assured …
We can all join the Canavan caravan and chorus our love of dinkum clean sweet pure Oz coal …and project our joy and happiness about the present into the never0ending future ...
Now to be fair, there were other regular, usual voices doing their best to maintain the rage in Lloydie's absence …
When it comes to religious wars, and crusades, the reptiles swoop and swirl together ... but it would be wrong to dilute Polonius's singular achievement with another predictable reptile column. That can be saved for another time, so that the Polonial achievement can be savoured to the full...
Today, the pond is replete, as full as a dinkum goog, if only the chooks weren't feeling a little affected by the heat …
Our man Polonius has spoken, and so has B. A. Santamaria, and all is well in the land, and don't you worry about those carbon emissions, let us keep on showing the world that we care … and thank you infallible Pope, the pond doesn't mind repeating your insight on how we stand …
Courtesy of The Graudian: "The retreat [Lloydy's little Peruvian Paradise] was to be managed by a local shaman called Alfredo - Hunter's godfather - who specialises in local medicines including some with hallucinogenic properties that are said to bring people closer to nature."
ReplyDeleteSo, never a believer in climate science, our Lloydy, but a firm believer in hallucinogenic shamans - oh yes, and in conscience-immune grifting. Now that's just the kind of operator that we'd expect a fine, perspicacious, honest, ethical businessman such as Roopie Murdoch to employ. And he has.
But then indeed we get on to another of Roopies fine brand of Never-Climaters, the Portentous Polonius and his hallucinogenic shaman by the name of Saint-Mary (much more believable than Alfredo, don't you think ?).
Now not having even a kindergarten concept of science, Polonius has a real problem: he can't tell a cough from a cold, or an incident from a tendency or yet even weather from climate. And so he can quote incidents and weather occurrences as "proof" that there is no climate change while at the same time denying that any pattern of incidents and weather can strongly point to climate change. Especially when the intensity and frequency of the incidents is noticeably increasing and the impact on life on Earth getting more critical.
Incidentally, for anybody wanting a tutorial in climate argumentation, this is worthwhile:
https://theconversation.com/how-to-use-critical-thinking-to-spot-false-climate-claims-91314
So now moving on to Polonius's obsession with technology: he quotes and paraphrases Fitzgibbon: "big emitting nations can't transition without mining resources". After all, if you want iron, you have to dig it out of Western Australian ground, don't you ?
Well no, actually not. You see there's an awful lot of iron dissolved in the seas and oceans of this planet as has been pointed out for many, many decades. In fact, there's about 100,000 tons (Anglo not metric) of iron dissolved in every cubic mile (or about 4.16 cubic kilometres) of ocean water. And about 80 tons of gold too, though that's not maybe so relevant.
And this has been known for a very long time. And any ship of about 20,000 tones displacement turns over about half a cubic mile of seawater in travelling from Europe to America - and thus, even at only, say, 50% efficiency, could capture 25,000 tones of iron per transit.
And why am I using old-fashioned measures (tons, cubic miles) ? Because they were the units used when I first encountered these facts about 50 or more years ago. Of course, chelating chemistry isn't that well developed or established, so the sea extraction idea faded out in comparison with just digging the stuff up out of the ground more quickly and cheaply, but that was then and I'm sure that CSIRO scientists - yes those folks giving us the hydrogen-ammonia future - could improve the chelating chemistry in a decade or so and then we could basically dispense with actual mining for a large number of "resources".
So it goes.
I normally avoid QANDA like the plague but I did actually watch the episode Polonius references and it is a classic case of quoting words entirely out of context. If you cannot stomach the whole thing just start at 12:58 https://www.abc.net.au/qanda/2019-09-12/11751668 .
ReplyDeleteSchmidt's views of the relationship between fire and climate could be better summarised by his comment at 13:20 - "it's clearly related".
The real question is "why would I bother checking?" Polonius is a proven liar and the rest of his piece is just the rambling of a mad granpa. Silly hey?
Yep, really silly indeed. Consider Polonius on us doing something sensible about reducing Australia's 'carbon rate': "In short, it's all about feelings."
ReplyDeleteYeah but, everything human is always "all about feelings" as Hume indicated by his proclamation that "reason is, and ought only to be, the slave of the passions” which he made back around 1757 (I think). You'd reckon somebody with Polonius's frequently repeated claim to historical felicity would know that.
But then as Polonius himself so clearly shows, humans use 'reason' so seldom and in such bounded and constrained circumstances, that even Hume's claim is hard to credit.