The pond regrets being hasty and giving the Canavan caravan a flick … because it raises a point which constantly gnaws at the pond.
Why is a Minister of the Crown hiding his thoughts behind a Murdochian gold bar?
The pond understands that the lizard Oz is Pravda down under and therefore has the duty, some might say the burden, to publish the thoughts of fearless leaders … provided they show a decent and proper love of coal …
But in keeping his thoughts targeted at an exclusive 'leet - how many copies of the lizard Oz sell in Rockhampton on a weekend? - all the Minister is doing is supporting a declining business model, which at best on the weekend might reach a couple of hundred thousand by killing some trees, and not so many thousands more thanks to those stupid enough to subscribe online … out of a population of 24 million.
But in keeping his thoughts targeted at an exclusive 'leet - how many copies of the lizard Oz sell in Rockhampton on a weekend? - all the Minister is doing is supporting a declining business model, which at best on the weekend might reach a couple of hundred thousand by killing some trees, and not so many thousands more thanks to those stupid enough to subscribe online … out of a population of 24 million.
Did the Minister sensibly offer the piece at the very same time to his vast readership who routinely visit his site to check out his media releases, opinion articles, radio and TV transcripts and so on here?
After all, such is the vanity of prattling Polonius that his daggy doggy media watch can be read behind the paywall at the lizard Oz, but also at the very same time for free at the Polonial home site, which understands the importance of exposing Polonial comedy and follies to the world … because no one can get enough Polonial prattle …
After all, such is the vanity of prattling Polonius that his daggy doggy media watch can be read behind the paywall at the lizard Oz, but also at the very same time for free at the Polonial home site, which understands the importance of exposing Polonial comedy and follies to the world … because no one can get enough Polonial prattle …
But nope, if you want to read the Canavan caravan on parade heckling the bit city 'leets, thanks to a rag flung together in Surry Hills, where the best baristas in the world gather to serve the reptiles, you won't find it in the opinion articles section of his useless site … and you won't find it under any of the other headings either ...
You just get ancient, antique artefacts, with the gaseous one emitting much odour about gas … back in February 2018, or displaying his deep love of coal back in October 2017 ...
So this Minister of the Crown is really just a pawn in the Murdochian gold bar business model … though that doesn't help explain why anybody who went to the trouble of actually paying to read the thoughts of this ministerial loon would feel dudded …
How could anyone feel guilt-free, allowing the Murdochians to try to make money out of this sort of ministerial twaddle?
How could anyone feel guilt-free, allowing the Murdochians to try to make money out of this sort of ministerial twaddle?
Right from the get-go the Canavan pretends he's some kind of brawler, ready to go out the back at Maguires in Peel street and bung on a do …
A blue? Oh for fuck's sake, who bungs on this sort of rustic bullshit to pretend they speak the dinkum lingo. Stone the fucking crows …
Not everyone who actually paid to access this sort of macho, 'bung on a scrappy blue' drivel was impressed …
Actually what worries the pond is that the Canavan's pathetic assault on high-rise dwellers lacks even the imagination of someone throwing an egg at a recalcitrant, deeply racist, bigoted senator …
When it comes to insults and threats, why not take a lesson from a blowhard bully authoritarian braggart?
Yes, the Donald knows how to do it, startling the 'leets here, even if the Donald personally can't see anything wrong with building high towers so that the 'leets can look down on the common folk from a great height …
As for the rest of the 'us v. them' crap, how useful is it?
It might get a rise out of the pond, it might remind the pond that they seem to fuck around and fornicate in Tamworth as much as your average high rise dweller (just ask Barners), but what's the point?
Well if you read the rest of the guff, it's just more chip on shoulder resentment, used as dressing for a deep undying love of coal, and if that involves destruction of planet arising from the passionate affair with a lump of the black stuff, why then the Canavan is going to keep on humping the lump ...
Oh sweet long absent lord, more of the violent, heat-searing, iron-smashing rhetoric … and the ultimate aim isn't to win the election?
So that's what a liar sounds like with his pants on fire in the bush?
Where wealth is more evenly distributed? By being in consort with the Liberal party, and by hiding your thoughts behind the Murdochian paywall …
It's not as if there aren't already enough opportunities to read about your climate denialist obsessions for free …
What a class A loon, which brings the pond to that other coal-relevant bit of commentary tucked behind the lizard Oz paywall …
Condrum? And uncorrected for an unseemly amount of time?
By golly, they must be short-staffed these days at the lizard Oz. No wonder the Miller told his woeful tale about the suffering of the business model …
Never mind, it's on with the conundrum and the maths aren't good for the Canavan caravan … because it seems the 'leets have it …
Can the pugnacious, brawling, back street, iron-smashing Canavans move to the hard, coal-loving right please … and let the count begin ...
The "Turnbull bump", whatever that is, might evaporate?
What then about the Canavan "bump" as he blathers on about the high rise 'leets, pretending to envy them, but really insulting them up elevator and down fire stairs in a remarkably offensive and rhetorically violent way?
Yep, and if anybody actually got to read the Canavan, there'd probably be even more seats lost in the process … so in a way the Murdochians are probably doing him and the coalition a favour, by keeping him hidden behind a paywall …
It just seems a pity that 'leet taxpayers who pay for the Canavan to screech away have to pay to hear the screeching ...
How it makse the pond yearn for the good old days when a Sunday meditation might simply be about the Sydney Anglicans, the Jensenists and their complimentary women, and the Pellists and their love of frocks…but look where that got them …
Now all the pond can offer in return for the Canavan caravan offering a deep love of coal, along with rhetorical violence, envy, anger, and a chance to step out the back at Maguries to bung on a blue are a few cartoons, with more Wilcox here …
Canavan speigle tent propped by a purvetor of propaganda replete with pugnacious pugilists purporting to be proletarians via purple prose provacatorian protesting of un privelage.
ReplyDeleteThought you'd like this too dot.
" The arts are an even better barometer of what is happening in our world than the stock market or the debates in congress."— Hendrik Willem van Loon, died in 1944
Janko Brunovsky loved the Irish culture ...
Keep up your art! We appreciate it.
Canavan's article is a version of the town mouse and the country mouse. This was first told by Aesop, followed by hundreds of others. According to Wikipedia "In all versions of the original fable, much is made of the poor fare upon which the country mouse subsists. Dried (grey) peas and bacon are frequently mentioned".
ReplyDeleteThe $10 steak with chips and salad must be at the Lakes Creek Hotel around the corner from the Lakes Creek meatworks. I remember having an argument there about the disgusting salad.
Another classic in the genre is Mike Huckabee's "God, Guns, Grits and Gravy". As usual, the people from "Bubbaville" (Woop Woop) are actually much smarter and better than the people from "Bubbleville" (New York). He complains about going into a smart Manhattan restaurant and not being able to get grits (corn porridge). Later he goes to Los Angeles and finds people eating seaweed.
Matteo must have been reading a book on rhetorical techniques, since he uses a lot of them (very badly) in this column. So...
ReplyDeleteHomage to a guest columnist (with apologies to Duke Ellington).
Pseudo-rustic bullshit is his screed,
And dinkum clean coal is his creed.
Predictable from Canavan.
Tropes so lame it's like Peri Bathous
Cut-price rhetorical abuse,
Is what you get from Canavan.
"We're the real Australia", and then just glossolalia,
Failed antithesis,
And anaphora the agora would just hiss.
Cheap and low shots at the bourgeoisie,
Then macho bush hyperbole,
It's just Matteo Canavan.
It's just Matteo Canavan.
Can't recall you ever getting quite this creatively passionate before, FD. Must be something about a Canavan that inspires.
Delete