Stories the reptiles will need to tweak to be cheerful part three - white hot anger noted at the ABC here, as if a white envoy armed with beads and trinkets and perhaps a tomahawk can't save the world, and The Conversation dealing out saucy doubts and fears here, and SBS doubling down on the condescending envoy here …
Damn you, leftist Google logarithm, how did you discover the pond's secret life away from the reptiles? See how the reptiles tweaked the yarn to raise a polite, discreet "doubt" …
What else? Well apart from the mission to save the pesky, difficult blacks, urgently in need of the onion muncher's benediction, the pond could have gone with the strident free speech campaign the reptiles immediately mounted in relation to the Manning matter. The pond was astonished at the way that the reptiles, the Bolter, everyone swung on board, and made freedom of speech a front page crusade …
Oh wait, there it is, the pond can put away its binoculars ...
We keed, we keed. Clearly the wrong sort, and worthy of a ban …
Or the pond could have gone with the cawing Crowe's attempt to sanitise Angus, but the reptiles sorted that one out quickly …
Indeed, he's not a climate sceptic, he's just bloody sceptical it's worth getting out of bed to try to sort out the hysterical believers in the new apocalyptic religion, and all their jibber jabber speaking in tongues nonsense about the impeding rapture …
And speaking of religion, the pond could have wandered down the path with the Terrorists …
Now the pond knows that the Terrorists love to speak in tongues, and don't see anything silly and worthy of comedy in the sight of people speaking in tongues.
The pond has seen the phenomenon in close up and thinks it's even weirder than cannibals getting together on a Sunday to munch on human flesh and blood …
Yaroooh he he he I say you fellows he he he yarooh garoooar …
But enough of speaking in tongues pond style, that's better left to a Sunday meditation - with more fun and comedy stylings here.
What else? You see, the pond's much esteemed curatorial standards can't allow talk of Christ arriving backwards by Christmas in a state of rapture to sort things out as an easy distraction from important reptile concerns …
Say what? They buried Moorice third from the top and probably didn't award him a Krygsman or a Lobbecke, and thereby denied him the sanctification of cult reptile status?
The pond was outraged and scandalised …
Forget the storming of Queensland, forget big business, forget the Donald's splendid behaviour about the flag, whenever Moorice speaks, perforce the pond must listen, as if transfixed by the Ancient Mariner himself ...
Heady stuff, this yearning for the picket fence, with a land homogenised like full cream milk, and no need to send out envoys to try to tame this terra nullius …
Oh sweet, yearning Moorice dreaming, how poignant it is to see, how the pond was reduced to tears at his suffering, how natural and right is his martyrdom … please, let the suffering continue …
Now as a humble curator, it's the pond's duty to walk around, kick the tyres, perhaps suggest re-treads, stuff another banana in the diff, and do other quality assurance inspections, and Moorice's outing surely passes any test with flying colours …
This is exactly the sort of fare the pond thrives, up there with speaking in tongues.
For starts, the pond scents a determined effort to maintain a persecution complex and victimhood status by Moorice, and anyone who can blather on endlessly about the glories of Ming the Merciless and then deplore a tendency to "rear-view mirror" thinking is surely a loon of the absolutely unique first water …
Let no-one say that the Moorice doesn't deliver …
Please, allow the suffering and the rear-view thinking to continue …
Yes, indeed, it's absolutely wrong to revert to the rear-view option. Bring on Ming the Merciless and let everyone speak in tongues …
Just another day for the pond down the coal mine, with the hard-working reptiles, scouring the earth for carbon gems that can be turned into jewels.
All the pond needs to complete a sense of a hard hard yakka's done in time for morning tea is a David Rowe cartoon.
And as usual, the obliging Rowe delivers, with a genial offer of hired help - call on the mutton Dutton if you're a senior reader in need of a saucy French au pair, or consider a walkabout with Barners and the onion muncher, or just head off for more Rowe, available at a click here …
Yeah, but what exactly were "Menzies' values" ?
ReplyDeleteAs far as I can tell, his values were simply Queen and Country (by which he meant England, not Australia), white supremacy and anti-communism.
Oh yep, that's the LNP all right - they haven't changed a bit, even in Malware's time.
I once read that Ming believed that a good Irish Stew (of which he was exceedingly fond) required a pound of onions for every pound of chops. So you can probably add that to his list "Menzies values".
ReplyDeleteOh well that explains it then: The Muncher is just paying honourable tribute to Ming.
DeleteMaybe he got the idea from Churchill?
Deletehttp://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/food/article-3530283/National-pleasures-Churchill-s-stew.html
Not nearly enough onions in that recipe, DP, only 175gm for 650gm of lamb. And the onion is "finely chopped" at that, so I reckon it wouldn't do for either Ming or Muncher.
DeleteBloodstains on the wall near the power point and a bit of self harming - with Rowe you need to pay attention to the details. And what's to criticise in Pentacostal beliefs like no such thing as anthropogenic climate change, only Jesus can change the world's climate and the natural world is there to be exploited, no downsides or that getting rich is evidence God loves you - as long as you kick back some to the church?
ReplyDeleteRowe loves his detailing and the pond also loves the way he's willing to leave a few pencil marks in the rough … it adds to the texture, like that hastily scribbled ScoMo pasted over the Malware name plate ...
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