What a relief ... Polonius is back, and early this day at the top of the opinionistas ...
The pond is relieved in many ways, for Polonius, for the reptiles, and alas, selfishly, for itself ...
You see, the pond was given a right royal serve (we are all monarchists at the pond) for cherry-picking from the magic water man's screed on Polonius, when it should have unselfishly just presented the text, and allowed those interested to read as little or as much as they liked ...
The pond accepted the blame. It was a most grievous sin, something of a thought crime, and promised to do better.
So the pond planned to insert healthy, meaty magic water man chunks about the shadow between gobbets of Polonius, like so ...
Those that wanted to click on them to enlarge and have a read could do so.
Those impatient with ancient texts from the long forgotten magic water man could simply keep reading Polonius's current mission statement, which as it happens this day, is to monster those wicked Kiwis, always ruining the English language with their dreadful lingo, and always pretending they're better than Australia, when everyone knows they're not, they're just trans-Tasman dropkick losers, nah nah, sucks boo ...
Now that talk of the virtuous hints alarmingly at virtue signalling, but fair dibs, the rules say that a little sighting of Polonius means that the magic water man must also be given a place in the sun ...
In any case, to be fair, it has to be said that Polonius is absolutely without virtues and abhors the idea of virtue.
All these Xians jibber jabbering about virtues and being virtuous is not for Polonius, who is always willing to embrace his dark side.
The pond has no idea where the notion of being virtuous came from.
In the old days, in the westerns, it was always the baddies that wore the best Melbourne-black gear and had the flashiest double-handed draw, and these days it's female robots who know how to shoot up the humans ...
All the goodies, what a tedious bunch of bores they were.
There's nothing good about being virtuous, there's nothing good to be said about virtues, which is why every reptile has danced in the streets to have a multiple bankrupt, pussy-groping, thrice married fornicator and adulterer and adult porn star fucker at the head of the United States, and marvel at the way that fundmentalist Xians can suddenly discover that the ten commandments aren't a list of virtues to be followed by the virtuous ... they're easily disposed of with a mulligan ... in the same way that Polonius knocks the silly Kiwis for six ...
How easy would it have been for Polonius to do a Greg Hunt and head off to "virtue signalling" to discover an earlier sighting, back in June 2014?
But that's the way it is with brazen thieves, and nobody is more brazen than James Bartholomew, but again, it's fair dibs time, and for anyone wanting a distraction, here's a little more magic water man ...
Now long-standing readers of Polonius will recall that Polonius positively hates, fears and loathes Cate Blanchett.
It's easy to understand why. She's attractive to many a man and she's successful - is there anything more problematic in a Polonial world than a successful, attractive woman, when the lot of most ordinary men is to live with a harridan? - but worst of all she's a do gooder, and remember, Polonius abhors do-gooding ... indeed, for anyone reading in tandem those magic water gobbets might note how easily he's drawn to the dark side and must pump up the volume in favour of harridans ...
But those not reading along in tandem will just have to enjoy the cat-calling at Cate ...
At this point, readers will recall the many headlines that Polonius attracted by generously turning several rooms in the Sydney Institute into temporary shelters for homeless and displaced persons.
Apparently he even offered it as a domicile to Assange and Wikileaks if a refugee from some shithole country couldn't be found.
Or maybe not. Hating virtue and virtue signalling as he does, Polonius has kept all news of this unparalleled generosity completely silent. Unlike Cate, he sees no reason to show off, and he leaves it to his late mother-in-law to be vulgarly virtuous in a public way ...
But fair dibs, that bit of Polonial bitterness and ankle-biting means another stop on the way for magic water man devotees ...
And so to the main Polonial game, because having a bile-filled snipe at Blanchett was merely a little detour, a jolly escapade, and it has come to the Polonial attention that the country is now being run by a woman who is clearly as bad as Blanchett ... and besides they still talk of fush and chups over there ...
Indeed, indeed, and let's face it, New Zealand has yet to run a successful gulag.
They simply don't have the guts and the skills and the cash to splash in the faces of their Pacific neighbours and set up a gulag wherein any wandering refugee might be jailed without recourse ... such that in the end New Guinea's highest court decided it wasn't acceptable behaviour ...
But let none of that get in the road of Polonius deploring the virtuous, and celebrating the joys of being gulag keepers and Pacific bullies ... and with that, those wanting a distraction score another bit of magic water man musing ...
Not content with all this, once a Polonius is offended, the rule is, he must lash out in all directions, and especially at those bludgers across the Tasman with their high and mighty airs, a bunch of softies reliant on hard-nosed bullies of the Polonial kind, who spit on virtues and the virtuous as ponces and fools ...
Yes, there's nothing like a gulag to show how the virtuous suck, you silly Kiwis, and at this point, there's no doubt a few mug punters expecting another serve of the magic water man ...
After all, they've endured an extended gobbet of Polonius slagging off the Kiwis, so where's the reward?
Oh just harden the fuck up. The pond promises it will complete the magic water man text in the next Polonial issue, but the entire point of cheap-ass serialisation is to hook the mug punter, and keep them hanging around until the next chapter.
That's the way cliffhangers worked in the old days, and what's good enough for a Saturday matinee or a magazine is good enough for the pond ...
There'll be more of spring-heel'd mechanical executioner Polonius, the terror of Sydney, just stay tuned ...
Ah well, the Magic Water Sourdough did have a few better moments now and then. And happily I was reminded of the other Larry Adler, a moderately competent musician in his day.
ReplyDeleteBut it does go to show that the Trumpian Theory and Practice of Profitable Business has universal application - and was well adopted by our local Larry (and Rodney).
More Polonius baloney, or is it polony, or german, or fritz, or devon even? Either way it’s an unsavory dollop of sebaceous gloop he’s served up today.
ReplyDelete“Look! There’s a virtual signaller – am I not virtuous for pointing this out?”
To brand someone as a virtue signaller is surely showcasing your own sense of moral superiority. This hackneyed label is a double-edged sword because it inadvertently acts as a ‘hypocrisy signifier’ for whoever uses it. All this is obviously lost on the reptiles who love it for its memeish tropeish nebulosity.