In which the pond scores a prattling Polonius EXCLUSIVE ...

The year having started off with a bang, and the reptiles being inclined to dullness this Friday, the pond had an attack of almost incomprehensible remorse for overlooking prattling Polonius's summary of the past year.

Oh sure, the pond featured the Polonial splashes for the piece, but the google splash was enticing ...

As a reptile blog of record, could the pond omit a reference to Polonius's impeccable summary?

What's the point of the gravy without the Trump-phobic meat?

Now all this is very well and deplorable and shocking but then Polonius focussed his laser-sharp eye on the dreadful treatment dished out to the wonderful Donald ...

No, it wasn't just cartoonists, it was all those dreadful leftists, with only Polonius an island of sanity in a swamp of abuse ...

Indeed, indeed, there's no doubt that Van Badham got it badly wrong. How is it possible for a pre-schooler to do an Adolf?

On and on went Polonius, concluding with December and a final flourish featuring the Donald's suffering at the hands of assorted reprobates...

Truly that reference to the Donald being a buffoon is deplorable. 

And as for being a dud, wherever did they get that notion? Everyone knows he's an expert negotiator, and the more delicate the negotiation, the more he shines as a deal-maker:

Now for those who thought that the pond was doing a cheap reptile imitation with its teasing, trolling reference to an exclusive, here's the EXCLUSIVE scoop for the pond.

Luckily through reprehensible methods, the pond managed to gain access to Polonius's year-end summary for the year 2018.

Unfortunately it was only a fragment, like that page of the Donald's tax return that turned up and made Rachel Maddow look like a mug.

But luckily the precious fragment did at least contain Polonius's summary of the first month. The pond can't be entirely certain it was a genuine Polonial document, but presents it with a grain of salt and with a warning that it's as useful as the Polonial summary of 2017.

It began this way ...

In other news in later months, Polonius discovers that the Holy Roman Church is as pure as the driven snow, and why doesn't anyone mention the pedophiles in the ABC in the 1970s? But that precious fragment is for another time ...

And now please permit the pond to retreat to the corner to shed a quiet tear, of the kind it hasn't felt since it last watched Days of Our Lives or perhaps As the World Turns...

Yes, the pond was entranced by a new form of television this year ... as the White House became the bestest, hugest new form of soap ...