The pond has been wondering of late whether Rowe's twitter feed, and the pond's banner needs a freshen up in relation to the tired onion muncher, who by Xmas seemed well past his use-by date ...
Year after year, he's been a reliable source of monumental silliness, and yet each time the pond thinks he should be let out on the back paddock, or humanely put down, the onion muncher keeps turning up like a blow-fly to the cow pat ...
Having been cruelly abandoned by the Caterists, the pond could turn to what was the flavour on the reptile bedpost overnight, and sure enough, there was the onion muncher with a multitude of comments ...
Arriving at this point was easy ... this is how desperate the Terrorists have got trying to create an uproar ...
It goes without saying that the Terrorists reserve the right to deliver a wet, slobbery sloppy kiss to the lips, uninvited, though possibly using the tongue on the first such kiss might be going a tad far...
It didn't get much better down in the opinion section, what with the only sightings being an arm-breaker and the doofus Marcus ...
Now credit where credit is due.
Marcus is just a wannabe loser dropkick, always ready to cavort with the herd, or in this case Caroline Overington, because it was Overington that set off the latest bout of Islamic hysteria in the reptiles with this yesterday ...
The pond had thought of going there, but it was such a modest dress in an Islamic teacup storm, that it couldn't summon the energy ...
Overington ranted on about the importance of the bikini and Bondi and all the rest of it, though strangely drew the line by not celebrating nude bathing, as she lathered herself up in an Islamic panic designed to show that she was a genuine reptile ...
The pond only decided to get on the case when the lizards of Oz made a feature of it today ...and the onion muncher came out on parade, or if you will, stood up and saluted the reptile flag ...
What do you know? How the reptiles loved that cheeky snap ...
And the onion muncher was standing by, ready and waiting with quotes ...
Indeed, indeed. The pond deplores fundamentalist religions and is flabbergasted at the outrageous attire that some of them maintain even now, while weird preachers spruik outlandish death cults involving crucifix worship ...
Ah yes, mainstream Australian values on view as always in the Catholic Boys' Daily ...and the onion muncher front and centre ...
The pond thought that the onion muncher had done enough to give the pond, and perhaps Rowe, pause for thought before deciding to toss him from the top of the page.
Sure it was pathetic, sure it was just a small cow-pat in the back paddock, but he'd shown up and done his duty ...
A very old-fashioned view on modesty?
The right to defy stifling orthodoxy?
This from a loon who joined Islamic fundamentalists in fighting gay marriage on the beaches and in the fields and the streets?
Oh go kiss a ring...
... or lurk with stifling orthodoxies and look saintly and pious as the lame, the halt and the sick approach for a benediction ...
Around this point the pond lost interest, but feels in fairness that it should add the rest of the report on the basis that one in a million might be faintly interested ...
2012!? And suddenly the onion muncher and the reptiles are in a state of alarum and indignation at the start of 2018?
Oh it's going to be a long year, but already the onion muncher is showing good form ...
And now, because there's only so much of the local reptiles that the pond can stand, why not import a few foreign reptiles?
Onion Munching: "...DFAT...should be comforting [comforting ? que ?] people's right to defy stifling orthodoxy, not to be coerced by it."
ReplyDeleteOh boy, oh boy, oh boy - that has just made The Muncher immortal. You'll just have to keep a special little place for him in perpetuity now, DP.
It was a dreamy lunch-time today as I sifted through the various avenues of idiocy on offer in the herpetarium over lunch, as I strolled through this piece of nonsense regarding DFAT support today, noting each layer of the stupid was entirely predictable, suddenly an alien-player arrived: the onion muncher!
ReplyDeleteOF COURSE he had an opinion! And as GB notes well, it's a blinder as well.
Well done to all involved. Back in 1959, women wore what they liked, and men weren't so bothered by political correctness were they? Especially those wonderful priests. Oh please mayn't we go back to 1959 again??
Purely from the point of view of a marketable invention, Aheda Zanetti is a minor genius who deserves to get rich off her creativity and drive, which being devoid of any trace rent-seeking is clearly unacceptable to reptiles. I saw her profiled on TV about 18 months back (around the time the French government banned it) and have kind of been waiting for this to fetch up on the shores of the loon pond. But Tones played a blinder indeed - I think he's lost his fucking marbles for good and all now. That's the sort of knock that would keep an Australian cricketer in the team till the next Ashes tour.
ReplyDeleteBurqini's are also made for men. I would praise Allah if Tones could be persuaded to don one for his next beachside photo op, in preference to that ridiculous red posing pouch. Not that I'm one to comfort (que?, indeed) people's right to be coerced by stifling orthodoxy, but in his case, a little well directed old fashioned modesty would go a long way.