In which Marxist-Leninist Akker Dakker saves the day and Oz shipping ...

With the Devine away, things were looking grim for a decent dose of reptile madness, and the reptiles were showing the strain, what with brave bung stop Annika Smethurst forced to trot out yet another dose of leadership speculation.

Malcolm in the middle? 'Allo 'Allo, the season on sitcom jokes is now officially open. Oh and all those snaps of a downcast Malware are certain to come in handy ...

The pond could have spent time with little Timmie Bleah, waging war on Peruvian bears, but after a dose of mindless childishness from the Donald, there's simply no room left in the pond for moronic boofheads of the Bleagh kind ...

Fortunately, when it comes to the silly season, Akker Dakker can be guaranteed to be in reliably silly form, and the fat owl of the remove provided a splendid incongruity ...

You see, at the top of the fat owl's piece was a splendid little animated graphic about the dangers of climate change ...

The pond was transfixed. Here was the addle-brained old fart raging on about energy security as the greatest threat to our survival ... and at the top of his piece was an animation explaining how global warming works and how it was the greatest threat to our survival ...

It took a supreme act of will to break away from the animation and focus on Akker Dakker ... though getting past all that destructive industry beavering away in the animation was hard ...

Yes, there's Akker Dakker scribbling furiously about being subservient to faddish global warmers, and there at the top of his piece was a faddish global warming animation showing a hideous sun frying the planet...

What an excellent distraction it was.

It quite took the pond's mind off the foolish fat owl's blather about the tuck shop, when everyone knows that the monied class thought they could make a killing by selling Australian natural gas in the international market place, and taxpayers are doing their very best to subsidise the shipping of enormous amounts of coal to an Indian billionaire ... and Gina is moving mountains to move mountains of energy overseas ...

Now the reptiles did their very best to provide Akker Dakker with some competing illustrations, though the pond has to admit it doesn't have the first clue what an over-reliance on power boards might have to do with energy security ...

Can we just fix things by getting a bigger and better power board?

The fat owl's nationalism - that talk about foreign ships - is the purest of drivel, as next day of the week, Akker Dakker can be relied upon to berate the seamen's union for taking a stand against foreign ships, when they really should stand down ...

But why haven't the reptiles deployed an heroic snap of our union-busting fat owl?

After all, a man calling for the nationalisation of shipping - in the finest Marxist-Leninist tradition - surely deserves a magnificent portrait at the top of the column ...

There, that's better ...

What next? Well enough of all this talk of privatisation.

This year the pond can watch as Akker Dakker swings into action through the year nationalising this, and that, not just shipping, but railways, and with a bit of luck, even Gina ...

But first, let's get the ships ship-shape ... though preferably without those wrecking unions. Perhaps we could import a few workers as strike-breakers?

What a great Akker Dakker campaign.

What a great socialist he is. He might even qualify as a Wobbly ...

Dinky-di shipping in Australian hands, just like the Australian car industry so valiantly saved by Malware, and none of this pesky internationalism so deplored by the Donald, and yet the pond kept sneaking back, like a naughty, recalcitrant child, to the animation at the top of the Akker Dakker piece ...

See how the wicked internationalist 'dozers ruin and wreck dinkum Aussie forests ...

Sure the reptiles tried to come up with matching demonic images, but all they could produce was the usual assortment of wind farms in louring skies ...

Oh you ugly hideous things, you and your clean energy. Get thee gone ... see how the skies darken and go sullen in your vile presence ...

The pond routinely issues health warnings advising that too much time in the tuck-shop can affect the capacity to think ... and surely Akker Dakker proves that there's an increasing need for these warnings ...

The poor headless, clueless chook is all over the shop on this one ... a national shipping line to fix up energy independence? Or some such thing. The pond tended to lose track as the befuddled one roamed from lamington to rock cake ...

Meanwhile, there might be a few people anxious that they missed out on the animation that accompanied the Akker Dakker piece, locked as it is behind the Terror's paywall.

Relax, it's just an ancient piece released in February 2017 that the reptiles picked up, possibly because it was free, and ran without the slightest regard for Akker Dakker's sensibilities.

It can be found on YouTube, where at time of writing, it had attracted a grand 115 views ... (and it's written up here).

The music is particularly dire - the pond blames Atari, Coleco and Nintendo 64. The point isn't so much the piece, it's that the reptiles put it at the top of the long-suffering Akker Dakker's demand for shipping to be nationalised so that we can MOGA (make Oz great again, you L. Frank Baum heretic).

Enough of that nonsense, it's time for an Akker Dakker celebration ...