In which the pond ends up with an alliterative Shanners ...

 

The reptiles went full race war this weekend with a reign of fear- and terror-mongering that held white bigots and racists in a thrall of panic and loathing ...

Oh they were all at it, the editorialist and our Gracie ...

 

Indeed, indeed, it was most readable for fascists and members of the ultra-right gang of hoodlums scribbling for the lizard Oz ...

Well if gangs and unionists can be coupled, why not fascists and Murdochians?

Of course the reptiles can chew and rub their tummies, so other areas of urban panic weren't neglected.

It seems that the dog botherer is worried about his regular supply of opioids - how else to cope with life in Adelaide? - while the vile greenies were at it again ...

Whenever the dog botherer complains of a headache, the pond is reminded of Gadfly's immortal words after he scraped the guano off a soiled back-copy of The Catholic Boys Daily and discovered a piece by the rag's then stenographer Sharri, suggesting he was to be in a debate with the dog botherer, but had fudged it:

Chris was a valet to Lord Downer, when Alexander was foreign minister, and later became an adviser to the Member for Goldman Sachs, Malcolm Turnbull, skilfully helping the then leader of the opposition turn Utegate and Godwin Grech into a political triumph. The Daily’s scribe also won some monies from the ABC last year for not having sex with dogs. “To the extent that I am remembered for this,” he said at the time, “I’ll be remembered as the journalist called a dog fucker who stood up for his rights.” These days Kenny Doesn’t Rogers performs as a one-trick pony at the Daily, telling his comatose readers the ABC is awful, the awful ABC is awfully awful and how much more awful the ABC can get, etc. (here, but it'll use up a click on the Saturday Paper).

By golly, after that the pond feels like a little pain relief itself, but that's best done by moving on to contemplate other sections of the rag rather than reading a fool blathering about cancer and virtue signalling and gesture politics ... 

We ran this one earlier in the day, but speaking of an actual crisis, why not run it again?

Leaving the pill-poppers back in the valley of the dolls, the pond was startled to be strangely moved to tears at the thought of Joh. The pond hadn't thought for a nanosecond about the departed enabler Flo, cleverly using scones as a way to distract from a deeply corrupt politician at the head of a deeply corrupt government ...

Indeed, whenever a deeply corrupt politician returns to the pond's conscious awareness, it's reminded all over again of the virtues of Christianity, since what is more righteous, just and so than theft from the public purse? Give unto Caesar what is Caesar's and give unto Joh that which is Joh's ... and if it happens to be someone else's, such as the taxpayer, remember that Joh is righteous and passably Lutheran ...

Now with all these weighty matters to hand, it hardly seems fair that the pond should end up with a fundamentalist Catholic, but that's the way things go. 

The pond refuses to encourage the reptiles in their race wars, though no doubt Lebanese, Vietnamese, Chinese, Islamic and Aboriginal people can breathe a little more easily this week, as the spotlight shifts from them to the harassment of another minority group. 

Let's face it, the dog botherer is a waste of opioid space - novocaine for the soul, and comfortably numb - and Noel Pearson's celebration of Joh as kindly is merely pathetic, so why not join Shanners in savaging all this nonsense about women standing up for their rights?

Women fail at so many of their reptile-assigned tasks ...

... why not add another one to the list? 

Remembering after all, how much the Catholic church has done to celebrate the status of women and all that dancing in the streets at the news of the first female cardinal, quickly followed by the first Catholic Pope (by the way, the pond has a harbour bridge going cheaply for anyone interested) ...

That first gobbet was everything the pond expected, or perhaps even more, especially as together with the dog botherer's pellucid prose, it confirmed that "virtue signalling" was the new reptile jargon du jour.

There's no point in trying to make sense of Shanners. It's just the usual mix of envy and nonsense, with the odd bit of outright weirdness which seems to suggest that there was nothing much wrong with the casting couch days ... and anyone bitching about is simply involved in an askance alliterative attitude worse than a vituperative vestal virgin ...

But it did remind the pond of another bit of neigh-saying not so long ago, by a man who once owned a major studio as well as a major cable network, not to mention a newspaper which displayed the most negative aspect of prying, spying newspaper telephone behaviour ...

Ah yes, Rupert Murdoch dismisses Fox News sexual harassment allegations as 'largely political', and now speaking of enablers who facilitate this sort of evasive tosh, we must have another gobbet of Shanners dismissing pretty much everything else ... speaking as we are of a conga line of dismissive indignant reptiles displaying remarkable reptilian groupthink ...

Indeed, indeed, respond to sexual aggression with physical violence. Now there's a recipe for success.

Of course I believe that sexual assault is bad. And if you don't believe me, I'll assault you ...

Such is the logic of the reptiles ... but at least the Catholic church has moved on from burning witches and heretics ...

And so to the real reason the pond didn't have to spend time on the reptile race wars. There's nothing to be said when the Pope is on the job, with more Canberran pleasures to be found here ...

Judging by the size of the muffler, the driver must have an awfully big penis.

And now just for the heck of it, and because the pond is eagerly waiting to see if Colbert scores a mention as a champion member of the fake news media, and because the pond can't get enough of the Donald, in bed with the chairman in a most unsightly way (just who is pulling what levers, and how often do they pull?) ... dot, dot, dot ...