In which the pond pits nattering Ned against the vitriolic heart of Australian darkness ...

Poor old nattering Ned. As he's demonstrably enfeebled and aged, the pond decided it was only fair to allow him to attempt to land the first few blows in its epic bout, nattering Ned pitted against Miranda "the vitriolic heart of Australian darkness" Devine ...

Speaking of bigoted literalists taking the bigot literally, that seems about the right time to introduce the truly fanatical and bigoted Devine to the ring, and lordy lordy does she make a fine train wreck. What a splash ...

Now before proceeding, the judges note there's already been a protest. Someone has suggested that a bigoted audience understanding exactly what Trump meant - dog-whistling racism - is a tad different from the bigot being right about Sweden ...

Relax, that's not their ABC News, that's their American ABC News ... which asks a question rather than leading with a bigoted Devine assertion ...

Well the pond can't hold up the bout to wander off ...here ... even if it did produce this commentary and one tweet ...

Now the pond's terrified about visiting Florida - there goes the retirement plans - but it's impossible to delay any longer.

Bring on the professional vitriol of the News Corp bigot ...

Well it's a fine flurry of paranoia and demonising hysteria, and that photo of Swedes demonstrating against Merkel is a fine picture ...

Oh wait that's the point isn't it? Can't find enough that satisfies in Sweden? Bring in the whole of Europe then ...

Never mind, while the Devine's first outburst was tasty, it was a little Woody Allen short, so perhaps the pond should allow another Devine burst:

One thing is seemingly certain.

This sort of deranged rhetoric does produce results. A couple of days after the Donald spoke, there was a riot in Sweden, albeit a very minor one by American standards.

It was reported in WaPo here, together with a repeat about actual Swedish crime data, and this added insight ...

Well that report in the Graudian is here,  but the pond has been deeply unfair to nattering Ned. As usual, the spluttering and foaming of unhinged bigots is always more interesting than dull quiet lives in suburbia.

Can Ned fight back. Will he deploy his famous rope-a-dope trick, the Devine being a notorious dope.

Let's face it, the Devine would love a race riot in Australia, and the sooner the better, so that festering hysteria could be piled on to mountainous prejudice.

Poor nattering Ned ... how can he possibly do the Devine down in the ring?

Ah indeed. The pond suspects that, on the basis of that last remark, nattering Ned might be fairly judged an enemy of the people.

That's red meat to the likes of the vicious Devine. She naturally responds with a flurry of floozies ...

Well the pond has already mentioned the matter of the Swedish police officer, and in past editions why Tucker Carlson is a supreme bigoted prat, and how Fox News is full to overflowing with bigoted hysteria and routine distortions of the facts into a world of alternative Fox fax and Fox fake news ...

But to go back over that turf would be tedious, and already the battle is getting far too long and ponderous. Time for a last final round summing up burst from nattering Ned ...

And now to a summing up from the bigoted Devine brimming with distortions and talk of PC...

The pond's judges decided that the Devine the winner. Forget statistics, forget balance. 

The whole point is to hate and to drum up festering fear and loathsome hysteria ... fundamentalist Catholics have been good at it for centuries. (Is there a witch in the house?)

Congratulations Sweden, you've joined a long list of people who've been Devined. 

Sorry nattering Ned, be a good loser, be a good sport. The pond can guarantee the Devine wouldn't have been if she'd lost. She would have doubled down with even more exaggerated foaming and frothing ...

You see the problems emanate from within your own sorry organisation, you being a team player with your Terrorist team mate Devine, and she being a team mate with all those Fox News racists and authoritarian fascists who willed Trump into being ...

Here, why not watch a few clips from a man who has seen his ratings soar thanks to all the fun and frolics and follies arising from the Trumpist circus ... look on the bright side, you can always hop over the fence ...