In which the pond bubbles and fizzes with the Caterists ...

Smug.

That was the pond's reaction to news that the Nokia 3310 was about to return, as reported in The Graudian here, and many other locations ...

The 3310 never went away for the pond, and is still hard at work. Try locating the pond on the grid, see how far you get ...

A phone's a phone. Want a photo? Get a camera ...

Inconsolable.

That was the shock, the fear, the palpable sense of loss the pond experienced when it went searching for its Tuesday Caterist fix, only to discover that the dear lad had been buried deep within the lizard Oz reptile daily digital edition ...

What a relief to discover that the Caterist had taken up the story of Coca-Cola running out of gas in SA.

Of course it came hard on the heels of a Media Watch story - transcript and visuals here - about Coca-Cola and the reptiles, and repeated denials, and repeated refusals by sundry reptiles to accept what Coca-Cola reps said ...

Well sorry, but no, that hasn't settled that at all ...

Please, allow the Caterist to step forward, replete with sly innuendo and cunning allusions and suggestive, disparaging hints ...

Now at first glance, it might seem that the cunning insinuation connecting electricity supply to Coca-Cola's retreat is missing from the artfully derogatory and denigrating Caterist's opening.

But this is a slow burn, a slow build, before the pond gets to read the wrong result in the wrong envelope out loud ...

Now reading about how the Caterist moans about the size of the public service, around this time it would be usual for the pond to make a joke about the need to sack the Department of Finance public servants who hand over cash in the paw to the Caterists ... 

They still haven't updated their table on recipients of cash in the paw here.

As a result, the pond is in a terrible state of suspense about this year's awards ...

It's long past due ... please, pass the envelope and the winner is ...

Dinkum coal, coal, coal, oi oi oi ...

Yes, that Caterist mention of the coal industry had the pond on alert, and eager to read the final gobbet ...

Now the Caterist is passing cunning here.

There's no direct connection made between Coca-Cola going and  tricky renewable energy ... just associations ... hints and murmurs ...

But it was part of the murmuration of the starlings ...

Of course the pond can believe it.

Liars, ponces, rogues and thieves and Dame Groan ... what else to expect, what else to believe?

And now, just to top things off, the Oz editorialist this day offered another thought or two ...

It is of course also a splendid opportunity to lie and dissemble and distort ...

At last it comes out.

The climate denialist reptiles would like to do a Donald and duck Paris ... talk about timely.

Around this point the pond would usually wrap it up with a climate denialist cartoon, in celebration of the reptile climate denialism ...

Sign that lad up to the Caterist Institute right now. He's got the right stuff ... he just needs a grant before the last public servant switches off the light and shuffles out the door ...

But really, memes being what they are, the pond thought it should acknowledge the valiant attempt by Senator David Fawcett to score a mention in the pond ...

Well played Senator Fawcett ... there's little doubt that you're one of the reasons that South Australia finds itself where it is today ... and since you claim to have been mis-represented, in the usual way, here's what the reptiles said you said ...

After Senator Cash finished, Senator Fawcett made a comment that appeared to be directed at the Labor Party’s questioning of the Government’s policies, when its own policies had led to an increase in arrivals: “I question the ethics of nitpicking when your particular group brought the fleas in the first place.” 
Fellow Liberal Senator Ian MacDonald agreed. “Nicely put,” he said.

Indeed, indeed, nicely put, though the pond would have preferred - for the price of the Godwin's Swear Jar contribution it now has to make - if you'd mentioned lice ...