Right at the moment that are assorted people calling for sensible policies, there's Josh setting the pace for ideological approaches in reptile la la land ...
On and on they blather, these gormless twits, as the fires still burn and even the reptiles manage to publish a piece questioning the nonsense, albeit balanced by a further serve of nonsense ...
On and on they blather, these gormless twits, as the fires still burn and even the reptiles manage to publish a piece questioning the nonsense, albeit balanced by a further serve of nonsense ...
The pond reeled back in shock, a tad startled by this talk of hoax and hoaxers and even idiots ...
Idiots Mr Kohler, desperate idiots fawning all over Pauline Hanson?
George Carlin would have a better word or three for them ...
Josh's enormous capacity for stupidity led to all sorts of cries for the pond to allow Josh into its competition to celebrate coal without mentioning climate change ...
But the pond's judges were resolute. It was already well-established that Josh's capacity for logic resembled a horse's arse, and so he had no need to compete ...what need does he need for a bar to add to his horse's arse gong?
But the pond's judges were resolute. It was already well-established that Josh's capacity for logic resembled a horse's arse, and so he had no need to compete ...what need does he need for a bar to add to his horse's arse gong?
Gob smacking, mind blowing, take your pick ...
But the pond stays loyal, especially to the Major Mitchell, still struggling to come to terms with the news that News Corp had a dingle with its bottom line profit in recent days, thanks largely to the performance of Australian newspapers, which in fine luddite style, have stayed in tree-killer mode ...
That splash doesn't capture the most captivating aspects of the Major Mitchell's thinking ...
There you go ... the Major Mitchell looks to a piece in Politico, which boasts an actual newspaper that they throw away for free in Washington and Manhattan ... Greg Hunt it here ...
Its major reach and clout is via the full to overflowing intertubes ...
And so it's time for the pond's dance back into the halls of time, back into the mind of the Order of Lenin hunter ...
... keeping this thought in mind. Is it any wonder that the tree-killing reptiles look back to the glory days of coal? Oh how the pond loved to be naughty and romp in the slag heap of the Tamworth powerstation ...
Worship the coal, kill the trees! Worship the Major Mitchell, hate the uneducated blogs! Look, over there, is it an Order of Lenin?
... keeping this thought in mind. Is it any wonder that the tree-killing reptiles look back to the glory days of coal? Oh how the pond loved to be naughty and romp in the slag heap of the Tamworth powerstation ...
Worship the coal, kill the trees! Worship the Major Mitchell, hate the uneducated blogs! Look, over there, is it an Order of Lenin?
Think of columns by Paul "nattering Ned" Kelly or Andrew "the Bolter from the blue" Bolt?
They want to charge for mind-fucking? Shouldn't that be done for free?
And then that forlorn, pathetic whimper ... "as a former editor-in-chief". I was a contender but then I had my feathers plucked and now I'm a tattered rooster ...
And then that forlorn, pathetic whimper ... "as a former editor-in-chief". I was a contender but then I had my feathers plucked and now I'm a tattered rooster ...
Now the pond has already linked to the latest reports on the second quarter losses of the Murdochians (at the ABC here), but some of it, juxtaposed with the Major Mitchell, makes for piquant reading ...
Sure the Major risks sounding like a Luddite, but hey, it's coal, coal, coal for Australia and the world, oi, oi, oi ...
Headwinds? Is that the sound a Mitchell makes when using a keyboard?
It's possible that there's a reason they kicked good old Major Mitchell upstairs to the attic, where he could sit and brood and scribble columns with a fountain pen Bob Ellis-style, while a trained assistant deciphered the scrawls and turned them into a weekly column ...
It's possible that there's a reason they kicked good old Major Mitchell upstairs to the attic, where he could sit and brood and scribble columns with a fountain pen Bob Ellis-style, while a trained assistant deciphered the scrawls and turned them into a weekly column ...
Indeed, indeed, and put it another way. How many news sites can thrive in Australia if their main rationale is celebrating Donald Trump and clean dinkum Aussie coal for the world, oi, oi, oi ...
It's quite possible that the Major Mitchell doesn't visit the 'leet Surry Hills bunker where the reptiles stay warm on their hot rocks, but if he ventured out and looked at all the workers scurrying to and fro, he might notice something about people being glued to their screens.
The pond almost ran over a couple of them last week, so deaf to the world were they, and it would have been a richly deserved fate ...
It's quite possible that the Major Mitchell doesn't visit the 'leet Surry Hills bunker where the reptiles stay warm on their hot rocks, but if he ventured out and looked at all the workers scurrying to and fro, he might notice something about people being glued to their screens.
The pond almost ran over a couple of them last week, so deaf to the world were they, and it would have been a richly deserved fate ...
It's terminally quaint to see the Order of Lenin hunter celebrate older readers, and printed papers, while on the reptile site, the word is "brand" ...
Here's the USP of the reptiles as desperate marketing people try to polish the apple and use little symbols to show their screen prowess ...
Here's the USP of the reptiles as desperate marketing people try to polish the apple and use little symbols to show their screen prowess ...
A brand globally recognised as a leader in media innovation? Because killing the trees, because print, because older readers?
Because dinkum clean Aussie coal, oi, oi, oi ...
Exclusive access to Australia's wealthy and powerful?
Is that the cue another piece from the inner city 'leet Surry Hills bunker about the dangers of 'leets?
Because dinkum clean Aussie coal, oi, oi, oi ...
Exclusive access to Australia's wealthy and powerful?
Is that the cue another piece from the inner city 'leet Surry Hills bunker about the dangers of 'leets?
Oh yes ...
And speaking of Barners, it seems the sweet old sycophant is getting a tad agitated about events in the west, as the Tories head back to the 1950s with Pauline and romp in the slag heap of politics ...
Cue a more up-to-date Rowe than that wedding party, and as always, more essential Rowe here ... fix your gallery format AFR, you heathen philistinians, as Victor Mature might say!
So some survey by the Ponds Institute contends that 88% of newspaper profits still come from print editions - great! However... 88% of exactly what? Any such percentage is small comfort if a paper's overall revenue is shrinking, and the Major himself admits that newspaper readership is declining.
ReplyDeleteAs for differing periods of "engagement" with print and digital editions (presumably the time spent reading a news site as opposed to reading a print paper) this may be a lot less significant than the Major assumes. It's a damn sight easier to skim a website for the headlines or articles that may be of interest than it is to work through a (shrinking) wad of paper.
Still, perhaps this survey takes into account such factors. I don't need to see it in order to question the Major Mitchell's judgement when he claims that the scribblings of Ned and the Bolter are News rags' most valuable products. Only in a world where shit has suddenly turned to gold, mate.
BTW, that description of The Oz as a "news brand" is appallingly written and structured. That says it all.
Sycophancy really only pays off for unutterably weak and inconsequential people, like Christopher Pyne, for whom acknowledgement by their "betters" pays psychological dividends. Pyne (and many others in parliament, almost certainly including Tones) rely on the approbation of others to give meaning to their existence.
ReplyDeleteBut Fizza doesn't stay awake at night fearing his own insignificance. He is just looking for what he can get from public office. In House of Cards, Frank Underwood draws a line between those who seek money and those who seek power (respecting the latter infinitely more), and Fizza, after chasing the former, has clearly made a choice President FU would approve of. It is not sycophancy for a high-priced hooker to be seen with a billionaire. Neither should that be assumed when Fizza is doing the same. Its just business - in each case, Malcolm is just negotiating the trade of one for the other.
No, it's not the sycophancy that is the problem for this government, its the relentless, naked, unashamed venality...