In which nattering "Ned" suffers an attack of the vapours at what the Chairman has wrought, and a member of the 'leet provides a tasty dessert ...

Choices, choices, always with the choices ...

So many reptile choices on a Saturday ...

Just look at that choice juxtaposition: dinkum Aussie coal, oi, oi, oi and never mind the nonsense about clean coal, and then stick it up against the reptiles' pet project of privatisation ... oops ...

Then there was Dame Slap, flown in from planet Janet ...

Who wouldn't want to see Dame Slap taking down the nakedly political cavortings of the Trumpists?

It didn't quite come out that way? 

Never mind, the spirit of the pond is to bore stray passing readers silly with reptile musing, and frankly Dame Slap has a long way to go to reach the exalted status of nattering "Ned" ...

Actually, it's poor old "Ned" who sounds rattled ...

It seems to be dawning on some of the chairman's minions that they've helped elect a loon to the White House ...

Well if nothing else, at least enduring "Ned" means the pond can demonstrate the potent benefits of drugs for men's hair ...

Now back to frightened, startled "Ned" ...

Glass jaw? Go nuke!

But why is the pond not surprised? Well anybody with half a brain knew that the Donald was a grandiose narcissist without half a clue, and yet the chairman, his minions and the GOP assiduously beavered away to put the narcissist in power, so that they could score plum jobs and secure the Supreme Court for a generation ...

And Dame Slap had the nerve to suggest politics and the judiciary don't meet ... as if there aren't any lawyers sitting on the Liberal party government benches or running the party and making sure that things run the right way ...

Meanwhile, deluded "Ned" keeps being startled that this connivance should have resulted in a rogue inclined to go rogue regularly ...

Now around this point in the ritual, the pond usually keeps harping on about the role that the chairman, Fox News, Hannity, Orally, the WSJ, the GOP and the rest of the tribe played in delivering this madness to the world ... but why not a few cartoons instead?

Okay, here's the fine, Godwin's swear jar, these days it's more than worth it ...

But the pond is in a hurry to get to the end, so it can have a special dessert ...

Well yes, let's focus on the real victims here ... including the most important one, though nattering "Ned's" suffering should also probably have been mentioned by Pope ... with more infallibly papal images here ...

And so to the pond's special treat ...

As soon as someone mentions the 'leets, the pond's ears prick up, which apparently, unless you believe Joe Orton, is better than having a prick up your ear ...

Now as soon as someone begins to blather about the 'leets, the pond's immediate instinct is to ask about the scribbler's 'leet status.

Are they Tamworth born and red-neck proud? Do they come from the centre of the known universe, and rub shoulders with Barners on Peel street?

Or are they mixing politics with the law, Dame Slap style?

It's too tedious really, to remind Ms Clegg that Clinton actually won the popular vote, unless you subscribe to the Donald's paranoid routine about millions of illegal votes, which even the originator of that furphy has begun backing away from ...

But there's no point in having this sort of debate unless we know where Ms Clegg is coming from ...

Yes, she's just your common garden barrister member of the 'leet, no doubt blathering on for benefit of other learned 'leets gathered together to ponder on the wonders and joys of Trumpism and the wisdom of the crowd of common folk (oh and you can find her full CV here. She's in St James Hall, don't ya know, though now in what's quaintly known as door tenant form).

What the pond most loves about this sort of musing is how, after turning face to suburbs and explaining all about suburban values, you only need to head off to Ms Clegg's pages to see how desperately she wants to be seen as part of a well qualified 'leet. 

An exceptional member with tremendous leetist skills ...

No doubt this helps explain why the tone shifts when it comes to Trumpists or even Corys turning up down under ...

Oh the onion muncher and his circuit breaker lives, though with as much chance of success in a referendum as the pond has of achieving wide readership  on the back of nattering "Ned" or the reptiles of a successful business plan with "Ned" as their figurehead on the bow ...

Now the pond has to confess to cutting short the 'leet CV and barely has time to note Ms Clegg's publication ...

But that's because the reptile woods are lovely, dark and deep, and the pond has a promise to weep, and miles to go before it can sleep after the weeping, and besides there's a final gobbet to go ...

And there you have it, a barrister explaining things to the CIS, so that the 'leets can understand and begin a scramble to the bush ...

The fatuity and stupidity of said such scramble in a country as heavily urbanised as Australia is just one of the magical mis-understandings that the 'leets regularly indulge in ...

You see, on a good day, the citizens of Penrith, Blacktown, Parramatta, Windsor and the like fancy that they have some immediate connection to Sydney; apparently the same is sometimes said of Dandenong, and now it's an inner suburb of Melbourne, it's likely it's true, while Christies Beach and Noarlunga are surely the heart of dear old Adelaide, with the aunts abandoning their wisteria for the southern lifestyle ...

If the 'leet fancy that a trip to Tamworth will bring them a deeper understanding of this heavily urbanised country, could luck with that ... but they might be better off staying in chambers and fretting and sighing and worrying with nattering "Ned" about what the true 'leets - chairman Rupert and his minions - have helped bring to pass ...

... while the rest of us can enjoy the many fine cartoons that have resulted, not least this Rowe, and as always, more Rowe here ...