Yoghurt in trees, Rush Limbaugh, Rick Santorum and Republicans ...

(Above: Click to enlarge. By golly is Tom Tomorrow in fine fettle or what, go here for more TT).


It will happen. There's no way around it ... it's coming and you won't be able to hide.

Yep, at some point Paul "Colonel Grumpy" Sheehan will return from Europe with outraged tales of ruinous Celts and lazy Greeks.

But in the meantime you can read Michael Duffy concerned about treatment of Aboriginal people in the justice system, in Fairer way was there in black and white. Lordy, lordy, has the Duffster gone ABC, or what ... a measured probing of issues involving justice.

Paul Sheehan probably felt a chill wind caress the back of his neck. How dare the Duffster do this sort of thing in his absence ... it's downright Celtic.

As a result, the pond went elsewhere for entertainment, and this story by Saffron Howden, Cultural cringe: schoolchildren can't see the yoghurt for the trees, caught the eye:

Cultural cringe?

In the old days, the term used to refer to A. A. Phillips' notion that Australian artists and intellectuals were routinely denounced as being deficient up against British and European counterparts. In the usual way, the term even has its own wiki, here, and a fine wiki it is and we commend it to Saffron or to the subbie who supplied the header, though to be fair, at no point does Saffron mention 'cringe' in her piece.

So it's likely the subbie who produced the header that had the pond cringing at the use of cultural cringe in such a cringe-inducing way.

Instead Saffron spent her piece getting agitated - part of what we like to think of as Australia's cultural agitation - about a recent survey of schoolchildren:

Three-quarters of Australian children in their final year of primary school believe cotton socks come from animals and 27 per cent are convinced yoghurt grows on trees.

This is disturbing. Everyone knows that yoghurt grows in refrigerators.

As for the notion that socks come from animals, the pond is inclined to be lenient, since schoolchildren are likely enough to wear a sturdy cotton wool mix, and everyone knows this would immediately breach Deuteronomy 22:11, which advises true believers not to wear clothes of wool and linen woven together (and let's not speak about the rule that insists you put tassels on the four corners of the cloak you wear).

And then things turned serious:

In a hypothetical lunch box of bread, cheese and a banana, only 45 per cent in year 6 could identify all three as from farms.

Perhaps that was because the bread and the cheese came from a chemical factory? Put it this way, it's impossible to grow mould on some of the cheese that lurks in our refrigerator.

Whatever, the survey's methodology was deeply flawed. At no point was it mentioned which child's parents had a Murdoch tabloid in the home. If you keep reading this sort of stuff ...

... of course you're going to believe Clive Palmer digs bananas out of open cut mines, and uses the profits for great and glorious benefit of soccer in Australia, and not a cultural cringe (or a victory) in sight.

Meanwhile, it was left to Rush Limbaugh to provide the real entertainment last week. His apology for certain recent verbal follies was a classic in itself:

A Statement from Rush
March 03, 2012
For over 20 years, I have illustrated the absurd with absurdity, three hours a day, five days a week. In this instance, I chose the wrong words in my analogy of the situation. I did not mean a personal attack on Ms. Fluke.

I think it is absolutely absurd that during these very serious political times, we are discussing personal sexual recreational activities before members of Congress. I personally do not agree that American citizens should pay for these social activities. What happened to personal responsibility and accountability? Where do we draw the line? If this is accepted as the norm, what will follow? Will we be debating if taxpayers should pay for new sneakers for all students that are interested in running to keep fit?In my monologue, I posited that it is not our business whatsoever to know what is going on in anyone's bedroom nor do I think it is a topic that should reach a Presidential level.

My choice of words was not the best, and in the attempt to be humorous, I created a national stir. I sincerely apologize to Ms. Fluke for the insulting word choices. (warning, link is to the Rush Limbaugh show).

Yes primary school children, you apologise by continuing the argument and insisting that you're the one in the right.

Meanwhile, Rick Santorum goes on giving and giving. Confronted by Chris Wallace citing CDC data that said 99 per cent of United States women between the ages of 15 and 44 had used birth control, Santorum shifted the blame back to the Pope:

"I'm reflecting the views of the Church that I believe in," the former Pennsylvania senator replied. "We used to be tolerant of those beliefs. I guess now when you have beliefs that are consistent with the church, you are somehow out of touch with the mainstream. And that to me is a pretty sad situation when you can't have personally-held beliefs."

Indeed. It is an extremely sad situation when you can't have personally-held beliefs, and it's a tragedy that Saffron Howden mocks children for holding the personally-held belief that yoghurt comes from trees. Which when you think about it is no sillier than Catholics turning up each week to drink the actual blood of Christ and munch on the actual flesh of the lord ... (oh dear, did the pond tread on toes at a weekend dinner party, or what).

Santorum is sounding funnier by the day, and the notion that Obama is a snob on educational matters also got a going over by Wallace (Chris Wallace Grills Rick Santorum). And this on Fox News!

Meanwhile, you can find conservatives who think Limbaugh was right, as in Did Rush Limbaugh Apologise for telling the truth?

It was very gracious of Rush to apologize to the lady for the way her actions have made her appear in the public light. It’s just a shame that the real issue here of the entitlement society we have created in this country is not in the forefront.

Lady? Yes children, that's code for when you want to say slut ... or perhaps deliver that immortal conservative joke, that's no lady, that's my wife.

The moral of the story children?

Keep believing yoghurt grows on trees, children, and you too can become part of the entitlement society Republican narrative.

Why you might even grow up to be a Republican at heart, and never mind the cultural cringe that would involve ...

Meanwhile, Tom Tomorrow suggests this went viral, so here's a little more of the virus for those who missed it. Click to enlarge.