Sunday, January 21, 2018

In which the pond trills along with our Gracie in lieu of a Sunday meditation ...



The pond has absolutely no explanation as to why our Gracie should be front and centre of the digital lizard Oz on a Sunday ...

Is it a way of distracting punters wanting to settle down for a solid Sunday of Speccie reading? What with Andrew L. Urban and Flinty out and about that's a power of distraction required ...

But it's a fair call, because our Gracie is rarely promoted to the top of the page and yet she trills in a delightful way ...

 

In spectra-sonic sound no less, the ultimate in high fidelity ... and how do the lyrics go?


Big government?

Ah, we all know where that leads us, that sort of cheap, idle rhetoric ... a field day of fun for cartoonists ...



And along with that rhetoric can often be found a populist, offering even more fun for cartoonists ...


But we haven't even begun to listen to our Gracie trill her song ...


Indeed, indeed, this is like one of those old tunes on hits and memories stations, the more solid the gold the more repeats it scores for the day ...


And as the pond is always keen to hum an old-fashioned tune, and play the game ...



Oh please miss, please, the pond loves to play this sort of mindless binary sort of silliness and in that spirit, the pond has another quiz ...

Pick your gut reaction:

A. Times are tough, you don't have a discretionary spend, or if you do, it seems not enough for you to spend up on the indiscretions you like ...This must be awful. Do you look at wasteful items spent on useless trivia, such as a subscription to the lizard Oz and Foxtel, or do you think they need your charity, and keep on throwing good money after bad? As a result, you can't lash out on the pokies, gamble on sport and drink yourself into an early grave ...

B. Times are tough, you don't have a discretionary spend, or if you do, it seems not enough for you to spend up on the indiscretions you like ...This must be awful. Do you at last take action and cancel your subscription to the lizard Oz or shame of shames, a Murdochian tabloid, and indulge in a bout of cable-cutting, Foxtel having directly contributed to the dire state of your broadband service? Now you can lash out on the pokies, gamble on sport and drink yourself into an early grave ...

Hmm, tough choices, but our Gracie knows all the answers ... and after this, you might want to reconsider your own answer ...


That's what you pay money for?

Simplistic analysis of the most mind-rotting, meaningless binary kind, with the sort of cheap idle rhetoric that took the GOP down the path to the Donald? 

Might as well go and splash the cash on the pokies ... so that you can be taxed by the government, because remember, the pokies are the epitome of capitalist society and all that our Gracie loves ...



And now, because low comedy is never enough, the pond always likes to end on a note of high comedy, and trusts that everyone has caught up with the latest bit of Boris ...

It's easily googled ...


... and it shows the very best of our Gracie's Tories at work, diligently providing opportunities for cartoonists of the Rowson kind, with more Graudian cartoons here ...


In which the pond settles for the company of racists and bigots ...


If the pond may be so bold, what a silly question. 

Of course it's right, because CIS has determined everything is for the best in the best of all possible worlds ...


But enough of your average reptile proclaiming the end of separatism, because what the pond and the world needs is a decent dose of separtism.

On a Sunday, the pond used to spend time with the Pellists and the Jensenists, sadly long gone, and now for a meditation, it frequently finds itself in the company of racists and bigots ... and not just the Donald. 

Come on down Akker Dakker ... and regale the pond with yarns of the stone age ...




Now the pond will concede Akker Dakker is right. 

Aboriginal societies simply didn't have the wit or the skill to bring on two world wars, a decent Holocaust and sundry minor wars, nor the capacity to end the world at a push of a button, or perhaps an emission of carbon ... and for that they rightly should be deplored, and roundly condemned ...

Besides, a reasonable, rational debate should always be taken as a sign of hate, at least if you happen to be an expert hate-monger, making a living out of packaged rage and bile ...


It's always the way of course, that once he's established his race-baiting, trolling opener that Akker Dakker will go on to a general whine and a whinge, but the pond feels it must reprimand the Terrorists for this time failing to put on display the usual photo of triumphant colonialism that routinely accompanies an Akker Dakker outing ...


What a fine figure of a pompous, arrogant loon he makes, and naturally a comparison arises ...


And the urge to reach for a cartoon before the pond can go on has become overwhelming ...


Well it has a smidge of relevance, and no one says it's easy to get through an Akker Dakker without some form of distraction ... and speaking of smug, insolent, smirking, grinning idiots, Akker Dakker is on the case ...


It goes to show how desperate the Terrorists are when it comes to illustrating an Akker Dakker piece.

Instead of a few flags, why not reward Akker Dakker's screeching with a cartoon?


And now back to Akker Dakker ... because the pond is exceptionally pleased to see that he is up to date with the latest argot, a test that the dog botherer failed dismally yesterday and had to be boxed around the ears for ...

See if you can spot, amongst the spittle and the invective and the hate and the fear and the loathing, Akker Dakker's triumph ...


Virtue signalling!

The pond must leave aside the news that black people once resided in the inner city suburb of Redfern - there'll be none of that nonsense in Sydney if you please - to admire the company that Bess and Jacinta Price now keep ...


The pond would be flung into a quandary of doubt and a pickle jar full of uncertainty if it had a kind word from Akker Dakker.

Thank the long absent lord that will never happen, not even after a snort, but the pond has to confess that it loves the way that Akker Dakker, after all the insults, rage, mocking and general blather, makes an urgent plea for the many Australians who live in squalor.

As if he gives a flying fuck.

Tough shit, it's all your fault you live in the Stone Age ... just remember who's the righteous squawking parrot toadying up to Chairman Rupert for the easy life of scribbling a column full of hate, fear and loathing ...


As a result of Akker Dakker's successful trolling, his comments section was already beginning to bulge with the usual racists out on parade, but this one delighted the pond, both by its irrelevance to the central discussion, and by the way the comments section might be measured for its clarity and insights ...


Because difficult women immediately bring to mind the stone age ...

And with that, the pond could feel another cartoon or two coming on ...





Saturday, January 20, 2018

In which the pond bypasses petty distractions for a decent dose of dog bothering ...

 

The pond is pleased to report that the lizards of Oz have continued to lather up an Oz day frenzy ...

And as a measure of the great sacrifices the pond always makes, the pond must tiptoe past them all, and also past Dame Slap, though the reptiles do seem to have been exceptionally cruel in their juxtaposition of stories ...



Who needs a man, when women have Dame Slap?

And there seemed to be a mixed message lost somewhere between poor old Peggy, back in the 1950s with Doris Day, Rock Hudson and Douglas Sirk movies, and later shows by Harvey ... 



But all this had to go, like Dimmeys had to leave Richmond (hey, they still have a franchise in Goulburn), because the reptiles kept on delivering top of the page major assessments of how well the Donald is doing ...


But forget the lap dog Cameron Stewart. 

This ceremonial occasion needs a pundit of exceptional gravitas, and who better than the man that did so much to help the stocking man and the war in Iraq ...


Oh okay, the only reason to go with the dog botherer is because it gives the pond a chance to catch up on some recent cartoons ...


After that there doesn't seem much point in attempting a longer assessment, but the dog botherer is a trier and he will try very hard to appear trying ...


Thank the long absent lord that the Donald introduced gravitas into political discourse, so that the pond might remark on what a fuckwitted dickhead thing it is to do to read the dog botherer, let alone actually be the dog botherer ...

And it seems, not just an average fuckwit, but a fuckwit without a sensa huma ...



Now how long before the dog botherer dissembles and says the Donald isn't his cup of tea, and then proceeds on to discover that actually the Donald is a very tasty sip of the finest Lapsang souchong ...


It's remarkable, not just the way that the Donald keeps brooding about Clinton and the campaign, but so does the dog botherer ... 

But it would be wrong to consider the dog botherer in a superficial way, as a brash, egocentric, abusive and petty commentator. Please allow the pond to plunge into a few more cartoons, before heading off to the deep end of the pool to contemplate  the depths of the dog botherer's fuckwittedness ...




Ah, that's better, and now the pond is fully charged, and ready for a penultimate gobbet of gibbering dob botherer ...

Indeed, indeed, exactly what the pond would expect a shithead to say, seeking as he does to always elevate the discourse ...





And so to the final gobbet, and the pond is exceptionally grateful to the dog botherer for offering a format conducive to running a whole bunch of cartoons ...




And so to the ultimate denial by a man who has astutely managed all forms of denialism, including but not limited to climate science denialism ...


Meanwhile, on another planet ...


Damn you 'leets, it's all your fault ...

And fnally the pond deeply regrets that it will have to mark the dog botherer down. That last sentence was verbose and convoluted, and included this phrase ...

"As a means of expressing their own virtue" 

Say what? That's simply pompous, circumlocutory and feeble.

What happened to "virtue signalling"

Doesn't the dog botherer know how to Greg Hunt? Is he unaware of the latest in reptile speak?

Let's face it, the Donald has only about ten words to his arguments, and the dog botherer has no reason to hare off and try and confuse the pond and the average punter when there's an all-purpose cliché to hand ...

And what the fuck is 'setting a pretty low bar' supposed to mean? Is he suggesting that the Donald is a shithouse president and everything scribbled before that last sentence should be taken as the silly defensive doodling of a shithead?

Could it be that the dog botherer, scribbling furiously in defence of the Donald, is himself setting a pretty low bar?

It's beyond the pond of course. Give the pond a smell of cheese and a Rowe cartoon, with more Rowe here, and the pond is happy ...