In which the pond ranges from abject terror with the bromancer to abject boredom with a solid Groaning ...

 

 

 

The reptiles are in a dire state of deep fear and loathing and nothing shows this better than the assorted efforts in the tree killer and digital editionsthis day.

The tree killer edition ran with sheer panic over China and clean energy ... such that the bad news in the reptiles' polling had to be pushed to one side, while given as much of a glossing and buffing and gleaming as could be managed ...

 

 

 

 

How pleasing it is to see that Klive's kash in the reptile klaw has been replaced by a solid Ubering, and what joy to see that foreign owned companies have absolutely no role to play in the current election campaign ... though that Übermensch effort does prepare for the jolly good Groaning down the page ...

In the digital edition, snorting Sharri's ongoing hit jobs on Marles was given pride of place... right next to Simon saying - and never no mind the conflict of interest - that it's go go go for the liar from the Shire ...

Is it any wonder that the pond turned for comfort and solace to the bromancer's on-going meltdown? Feeling as defenceless as a baby in a pram about to do a Eisensteinian montage roll down the stairs, or even worse, suffer a Brian de Palma rip-off of the routine ...

 

Poor bromancer, trapped with 1st Viscount Bruce of Melbourne, and Catholic Lyons and the most fatuous defence statements in our history, and yet the cartoonists have been having fun ... what with Wilcox returning to the fray ...

 

 

But back to the disturbed bromancer, sounding as if he was ready to trot out a line about Pig Iron Bob ... but not quite... even the bromancer has his limits ...

By the way, that mention of the Labor party drew the pond to this speech by Curtin way back in the early days of the war, in Perth, 28th August 1940 ...inter alia ...

In the Labor Party’s 1937 policy speech it was said that ‘the chief strength of Australian defence must lie in aviation.’ That policy was assailed by our opponents. Events have proved that Labor was right. After 12 months of war, it has been shown that Germany’s advance has been because of marked superiority in the air, coupled with mechanised forces on the ground. In its dying stages, France appealed to the U.S.A. for ‘clouds of aeroplanes.’
Had Labor’s 1937 policy been adopted, the state of our preparedness today would be such that there would be less room for disquietude than, unhappily, is the case today.
In the past three years, the Labor Party has urged that defence preparations should be in accord with the modern trend of warfare. That statement was made before the present conflict commenced and was in keeping with the far-sighted character of the Labor Party’s policy in regard to air strength.
Mobility must be the keynote of Australia’s land forces. Modern equipment must be provided, not only for the men to bear and to utilise, but transport to carry them. In 1938, when the Government’s defence policy was announced in altered form, the Australian army was not adequately mechanised. Mechanisation of the army since then has barely scraped the surface of one of the most pressing needs we have in building up our defensive competence.
Australia’s defence must be constructed on the basis of a maximum supply of aircaft and personnel and an equally strong supply of mechanised land strength, manned by men fully trained in modern mechanised technique.
Not only did the Government fail to satisfy the urgent need which Labor made clear in 1937—that Australia’s first line of defence must be in the air—but the various changes in the Empire Air Scheme became so confusing that intending recruits for tho R.A.A.F. entered other arms of the services.

Perhaps if World War Three is just around the corner, we might need a Labor government?

Just wondering. After all, it's as if Lyons had lifted his words from a bromancer column ...

Meanwhile, what a confused, unhappy tortured bromancer we have before us. If only he could occasionally see the lighter side of things ... 

 

 

 

 

 

Or perhaps sit through two hours plus of Ambulance to understand genuine human suffering ... but no, he's in a state of hysterical overload with Freudian issues involving crippling dependence...

 

 

In short, we're doomed. World War Three will likely erupt shortly after the country votes, and we'll fall within the week ... and there's the end of it, and no need to worry about the planet when the fiendish Orientals will make it all pointless ...

There's nothing like existential despair to put the pond in a good mood, and speaking of greenies, the lizard Oz editorialist was a good short-hand way to cut to the chase when it came to the latest reptile crusade against the vile, corrupting rich ...

 

 

 

 

Shocking stuff, and the great news is that the reptiles deep love of clean, innocent, dinkum Oz coal and its supporters is completely unsullied by any sordid desire for cash in the reptile claw ...

Now back to the hit job, though the pond, having seen Holmes a Court and his ability at investments up close (love of paintings excluded), found it all vastly amusing ...

 

 

 

Why all the reptile anxiety? Why all the hand-wringing and the naked hostility at the notion of doing something for the planet? What precisely is wrong with investing in green energy?

Especially given that Xi and Vlad the impaler and the fundamentalist Hindus of India and the American Taliban loving GOP are determined to fuck the planet every which way beyond next Sunday ...

Well there was this glum news from the never-conflicted Simon, just saying, as the terror of the disaffected hovered into view ...

 

 

 

 

Yes, the reptiles have sniffed the wind and seen a minority government, or indies with far too much power for the reptile liking, and so it's all hands on deck ... or in the trenches and ready go go over the top with Rowe ...

 

 

Oh the trembling humanity in the grip of teal terror  ...

 

 

 

As for the rest, the pond took its usual early look around at what was on offer ...

 

 

 

 

Albo scribbling from his sick bed? Macron winning? But the pond had already done that with France 24.

The pond did think for a nanosecond about shoving the Oreo to a late arvo slot for yet another serve of tranny bashing, but then thought fuck it, the notion that the reformed recovering feminist could dare to talk about girl power was just too nauseating a prospect ... a bit like sitting through that doc about the hiring practices of Abercrombie & Fitch ...

No, the pond would simply settle for a good serve of the Groaner groaning, and be done for the day ...

 

Let's face it, in a perfect Dame Groan world, voters would wake up at 4 am in morning, after their 24 hour shift at factory which finished at 6 am, wash down a breakfast of Sydney road tar - guaranteed to last in a shower - and Sydney developer concrete - with handy built-in cancer feature - with a good gulp of Sydney water infused with sewerage spill, and be off to do another shift ... and nary a word of complaint, because when you're born to serve, that's your Übermensch lot ...

 

Yes, yes, but now surely is the right time for a kind word for employers of the Deliveroo and Uber kind ... there's nothing like the gig economy to inspire the Groaner in her groaning ...

 

 

Indeed, indeed, will the suffering of employers never end? Will the pond's readers ever tire of Dame Groan doing a decent day's groaning for a decent day's wage? 

Look, if you're that much of a glutton for punishment, why not head back to May 2013 and the Kouk v. the Groaner ...wherein you can find the famous Dame Groan disclaimer "I’m not a political expert", which for someone constantly blathering on about politics in a political way is a truly remarkable insight ...

And so to wrap up the day with an infallible Pope, and where the pond might have favoured talk of a redback in the money purse, the infallible Pope rightly draws attention to the money belt ...

 

 

 

 

Relax, the pond has seen the Australian aid program up close, and it consists of Australians doing things on the Australian dime, because that's the Australian way ...