In which the pond thanks the long absent lord for the bromancer ...

The pond ignored Easter, but today, with the passion spent, seems the right time to do an Easter retrospective, thanks to the bromancer blathering on about "the whole truth", which in classic bromancer alternative reality way, means "what I believe to be" ….

There's no point in arguing with true believers … rather the pond presents this special lunch-time outing  with bemused pleasure, as a way of reminding stray readers that this is the man whom the reptiles have chosen as their foreign editor … and who in recent years, seems to have returned more and more to his adolescent silliness ...

Look, a lot of people believe all sorts of things …

Pew here.

Heck, quite a respectable minority (if respectable is the word for fraudulent) believe in Scientology and all its Thetan bunkum, and the bromancer himself often shows signs of faith in the Donald ...

Oh go tell that to the angry Sydney Anglicans and their blather about Adam and Eve and their offer of complimentary women …

The pond suspected that the time was right to simply throw in a cartoon here and there …

The bromancer began to remind the pond of all those clap-happy, totally wet, C. S. Lewis reading, EU types who used to wander around campus in search of victims for an ear-bashing ...

Obviously they are biased? Well they're also confused and conflicting, and over the subsequent centuries, heavily censored …with all sorts of texts and canons and cults and interpretations and schismatics and splitters, and doubting Thomases dismissed from the record, written out of history …but why argue?

After all, if a cruel, indifferent God can mightily smite Notre Dame, then no doubt She's responsible for many things ...

Never mind, it's always a long haul in the company of an EU type, or even worse, one of those Opus Dei cranks that confuse cilices with their taste for sado-masochism ...

Here's a thought that came to the pond when it was walking past the Little Turtle in Stanmore road, a vegetarian restaurant open for business on Easter Sunday. How do vegans cope with eating the flesh and drinking the blood of a human?

The pond promised it would check out the answer on the intertubes, and came up with this answer to the "whole transubstantiation thing" …

...Logic would seem to confirm that participating in communion is certainly not vegetarian/vegan, and that it goes beyond merely carnivorous to cannibalistic. After all, what else would you call literally consuming human flesh and blood? But logic doesn’t apply here. Thanks to the same magical thinking that turns wafers and wine into flesh and blood, and a trinity that is at once a mortal man and his own father who is immortal and a third component that is a holy spirit, one can just wave the wand and declare the flesh and blood to be beyond animal or human: Holy Spiritual. So eat, drink and be merry! (here) 

Yes, the answer is that vegans are completely clueless about Catholic theology, "the whole transubstantiation thing" and what it actually means … it's the body of Christ you dumb vegan goose, not the body of the Holy Ghost, shut up and eat your flesh and drink your blood, and bloody well like it or lump it, like coeliacs have to do when their only alternative is a gluten-laden wafer ...

Here have a cartoon to go …

...as the pond regrets that it must now spend a little more time with an acknowledged cannibal ...

… says a ratbag scribbling some rather silly literary criticism, for a book built on cliff hangers and Hollywood plot lines that would make a de Mille salivate at the mouth …

And so to the ripper conclusion ...

Miracles, loaves and fishes and restored lepers and blindness solved, speaking burning bushes, resurrections, eternities of hellfire, limbo until it went, purgatory though it's never mentioned, transubstantiation though it's preternaturally weird, and assorted much other judgemental mumbo jumbo and blind irrational bigotry and prejudices, often as outlined by men who ostensibly keep their cocks to themselves but rarely manage to do so, and the bromancer wants an element of common sense? 

What, like Xians who fawn all over the Donald, apparently unaware of what it all means?

And now the pond should also acknowledge the lizard Oz editorialist, who delivered a standard reptile homily early in the proceedings ...

It was typical of the reptiles that their Easter message simply couldn't put aside all the various ways they themselves want to do a Folau about assorted parts of the world they dislike …

How weird did it get? Well the reptiles couldn't resist doing yet another bit of fawning about the alliterative Robert Thomson, apparently not realising that the long absent lord is a jealous God, and She resents the reptiles when they abase themselves beneath the tin-eared god of Murdochian avarice ...

Happy 'far right climate science denialist ratbaggery' might have been a more realistic and honest wish for the holiday season … but never mind, soon the holidays will be over, and already the reptiles have turned back to their usual forms of tub-thumping, selling their souls to the Murdochian empire…