Paterson's Curse ...

Up Tamworth way, the cockies and squatters were always wary of Paterson's Curse. It was a blight on the landscape …

Of course we could argue about the spelling - some prefer Patterson - and the name - some prefer Salvation Jane - but the pond prefers the Curse, and according to science writer Peter Macinnis, here, it scored this name as a result of the Paterson family introducing it into the Albury district in the nineteenth century …

These days it's still to be found everywhere, and a new variant strain of the Curse has turned up lately in the lizard Oz.

Apparently the lizards of Oz are unaware of the dangers, and so, in order to maintain their crisis in Western Civilisation, they imported Paterson to deliver a few curses …

The pond knew immediately it was important because they assigned Urban to regurgitate what the Paterson scribbled …

That's how it goes when the reptiles are on a crusade.

Run the opinion piece, and also run an alleged news piece on the opinion piece, so there's a tupenny bunger making a louder noise.

The pond has no idea what the urbane Urban feels about being made a parrot for a remarkably stupid idea, but she does her job of parroting it in fine style ...

Yes, if they don't conform to the reptiles idea of free intellectual inquiry - which is the freedom to conform to the onion muncher, the lizards of Oz, the rest of the Murdochians and the most rabid of the curse-laden right - then they should be punished, for what else can be done to ensure free intellectual inquiry than by fining those who don't conform?

By golly, Uncle Joe Stalin would have thoroughly approved, and naturally this got the tweeters going …

Ah, the sweet joys of reptile trolling and absolutely certain statistics … why the pond can guarantee with absolute certainty that nine out of ten reptiles are incipient fascists …

And so the scene was set for Paterson's Curse to stalk the lizard Oz, and so the land …

Having heard all this nonsense umpteenth times before, and diligently noted it down, the pond would usually run a few cartoons relevant to the crisis of Western Civilisation, but these are in short supply, and the pond keeps getting offered cartoons on alternative topics …

Well at least it's a break from the back-breaking hoeing that's needed to get rid of Paterson's Curse ...

Now the pond must note that the only wrinkle that the cursed Paterson has offered on all the recent reptiles' outpourings is the idea of a fine, which is such an inordinately wonderful stupid and silly idea, and which says so much about the punitive mentality of the Paterson political mind, that it almost obviates the need for another cartoon.

But the pond felt the need to get down wit it …

Of course this sort of Paterson's Curse is really only a stalking horse for an even more difficult weed, known to rustics as the IPA Curse ...

Well, the pond encourages the Liberal party to sell off the ABC and to start fining universities for failing to conform to IPA requirements, and let's see what fruits these bold, brave policy initiatives bring …though perhaps they should be prepared for a little cussing at Paterson's Curse ...

Alternatively, have the reptiles considered the real-world consequences of the current crisis in Western Civilisation?