In which the pond relaxes with the Major for a holiday Yum Cha ...

Well it didn't take long for that massively stupid rooster, going about his interfering, busybody ways in the Graudian here …to turn into an A-grade, hypocritical plucked chook …

But enough of stupid men, because the Major has called in with an interim report on his never-ending hunt for that missing Order of Lenin medal.

We keed, we keed, the Major, perhaps in honour of Barners, is doing his usual, explaining how others routinely get things wrong …

It immediately suggested to the pond an important question: 

"If Australian governments are struggling to know how to balance our Western liberal values against the need to remain engaged with an out of control, rogue, ratbag, deeply corrupt, authoritarian US president who has turned against all the United States' traditional trading partners, how are the lizard Oz and the Major coping with the issue?"

Not well, the pond might say, if channeling the Major ...

On what deluded planet does the Major exist?

Axios here, and here have a cartoon or two …please allow the pond to keep the briefing short and visual in the way the Donald understands …

Now please, Major, do go on …but if you quote the bromancer, the pond reserves the right to burst into Treasure of Sierra Madre ironic laughter ...

What is it with this love of the isolationist Donald? Please, some more graphics for the Major …

Time to wrap it up Major, the pond will wait on the interim report on the finding of the Order of Lenin medal,  though if the Major feels the need to cite nattering "Ned" again, the pond reserves the right to indulge in hollow Treasure of Sierra Madre laughter …

And so to the pond's suggestion for the Major and the lizards of Oz …

Australian newsrooms need to step up investigation of the Donald influence in astonishingly corrupt behaviour …

… and while they're at it, they might explore sundry bankruptcies, bogus universities of the Trumpian kind, and the reasons the Donald is so beholden to the Russians, and routinely speaks on behalf of Vlad the Impaler, while the Chinese government offers a handsome payout to the Donald's interests in Indonesia …

…and while they're at it, they might explore why Fox News so brazenly supports this tin-pot authoritarian who imagines he was born to be King on a Time magazine cover ...

Oh okay, it was just another idle holiday Monday pond dream, why not have a cartoon instead …