In which the pond gets back into the swing of the crisis in Western Civilisation ...

The pond had to rush out and consult its physician and dietitian regarding the amount of "crisis in Western Civilisation" it's been consuming in the last few days …

The dietitian suggested that in moderation it might do no harm, and the physician advised that in the end the scalpel could fix any problem, but in the meantime, why not try some harmless therapies … like spamming the reptiles on Twitter.

The consensus was that none of it much mattered a flying fuck in a universe with much greater problems, and reading the Reader's Digest "Laughter Truly is the Best Medicine" in the waiting room was probably the best cure …

The pond was indignant. It never reads Reader's Digest, not when New Idea or City Hub are to hand, and resents the implication that reading the lizard Oz put it in an elderly demographic where senility beckoned.

It was simply that the circuits had fizzed and fried because of the overload … with Dame Slap, supposedly the voice of "reason", the latest to join the fray ...

Actually the pond almost rushed back to the consulting room just at the sight of the header. 

Uniting on the kernel of Dame Slap is not something the pond is keen to do. That would mean donning a MAGA cap and uniting on the Donald, and muttering about the way that the United Nations was using climate science to introduce world government by Xmas …

That wouldn't be uniting behind liberty, so much as uniting behind rank stupidity and a bunch of conspiracy theories …

Sorry, on doctor's orders, the pond can't keep doing the cartoon riff.

The pond's advisors suggested the only way to get through the whole crisis thingie was to do it quick and hard, firm thrusting like a priapic civilisation intent on fucking the planet ...

Now on the matter of migration and crime, Dame Slap has form, and the pond thought it might do no harm to remember her carry-on, celebrated in Media Watch here …where she got her citations and understandings into a muddled muck …

But then the pond remembered it had no time to argue, it had to get it over with quickly, because there were many voices and much to see and do ...

Actually the best place to learn about what's terrible in Western Civilisation is surely the lizard Oz.

It's terrible on a daily basis, but continuing with doctor's orders, the pond next turned to the urbane Urban ...

The pond was delighted to see that others were under doctor's orders, and were spamming away ...

The reptiles resolutely refuse to take up the pond's suggestion of the ACU - with the Catholics onboard the crisis could be over in a nanosecond, and instead the urbane Urban insisted on pondering on the "honi soit" mob ...

Oh dear, it's going to start up all over again, as the urbane Urban had a breakout box that explained the great deal ...

Wordsworth? How the fuck did he end up in that list? 

What a woolly list of names it is … and how stupid is the Bloomian concept of great names, as childish as Thomas Carlyle and with a matching emphasis on gender, as once again women are written out of history. Did you spot the female name in that list?

Meanwhile,  the phrasing suggested a writer on the verge of literary … how is it possible to study "the work of The Parthenon"? Is the Parthenon some kind of new auteur that escaped the pond's attention?

But the pond had promised not to argue, so it was on with the protesting profs using big words designed to send the reptiles into a frenzy …

And now speaking of the dog botherer, as he's been mentioned in despatches, the pond must turn - in one last heroic, Herculean effort to clean the stables - or perhaps like Sisyphus pushing the stone of Western Civilisation up the hill - to the dog botherer …

Now the pond has already spoken of the egregious error made by the wayward academic, and his comparison to a mass murderer when the obvious point of comparison is with Lord Haw-Haw in relation to the Iraq war … 

But as the pond has already done the Iraq war - though not in the definitive way that Lord Downer and the dog botherer helped fuck it over completely - it seemed a worthwhile to turn to another favourite commentary on the dog botherer ...

Oh dear Junkee strikes again here …as the dog botherer goes about the business of explaining how the fix was rightly in ...

Um yes, but how do you make $3.3 billion out of other people's ill-health?

And then tip a shit-load of cash into a personal indulgence going on about the undying glories of Western Civilisation …

Just wondering, but don't expect an answer from the dog botherer, just a little bit more of the hate fest ...

Actually the pond gave up on the fundamentals of Western Civilisation some time ago, first with the war in Vietnam, and then with the sight of the likes of Lord Downer and the dog botherer preening themselves about what a good job they'd done in Iraq. Some half-remembered moment in a history class about the King of Belgium in the Congo always seemed to swim back into view …

But if the reptiles aren't going to buy the suggestion of the pond to bring the ACU and the tykes on board, there's nothing for it.

They must ask chairman Rupert for a loan and set up their own university. 

There are precedents and models, and the pond wishes them well with it …especially if it puts a stop to this endless jibber jabber ...