In which, in order to avoid a crisis in Western Civilisation, why not bung on a do with China?

Poor old Annabel Crabb had to endure a lot of mansplaining from pompous Fin ponce Michael Stutchbury on The Insiders this morning - clearly his ambition is to bury prattling Polonius - but there was one moment of pure delight for the pond, and that came from the Northern Daily Bleeder, for a long time the pond's paper of record …

Of course the wretched Bleeder didn't even give a credit for the classic snap of Baby Barners when they ran it here - for that, it's necessary to turn to the Talking Pictures bit of The Insiders, which celebrated Gareth Gardner's skill…

Long may his telephoto lens stay sharp and pure and with good depth of field …

As for prattling Polonius, the pond was delighted to see that his piece on the perfidious ABC was elevated to the top of the digital page this morning …

Well done, lizards, but the pond had already done prattling Polonius early Saturday morning, here, so it was time to move on …

Frankly the crisis in  Western Civilisation has exhausted the pond, and it was typical that the preening ponce Stutchbury took the side of the reptiles, leaving Malcolm Farr and Annabel Crabb to attempt to talk some sense - the pond uses the word "attempt" advisedly, because when preening prattler Stutchbury gets in motormouth mode, no one has much of a chance …

But back to the pond's self-pity, a trait it's picked up from reading the reptiles relentlessly.  The pond knew it had only one piece left in it for a meditative Sunday, and wondered what crisis or war it should follow …

The pond could have resorted to comedy with simplistic Simon …

The pond could have turned to Dame Groan, her heart bleeding and the topic eminently suited for a suffering meditative Sunday …

But how many times must the pond listen to the reptiles yammer on about the suffering of Catholics?

Yes, it's the Catholic Boys' Daily, but sometimes an abundance of riches is too much, and besides the pond was in the mood for a fight, or better still, tedium which would guarantee an afternoon nap …

Come on down, nattering "Ned", let's duke it out with the perfidious Chinese…

By golly the minute the pond saw that "Ned" had been blessed by a Lobbecke, it knew it had made the right choice.

That bloody panda looks like it's in a mood where bamboo shoots just aren't going to be enough ...

Now devotees of "Ned" already known this is going to be a long, tortured, winding and windy road, but the pond promises there will be a punchline.

As for the Chinese threat, some might like to decamp and head off to the Daily Beast to read …

...Trump is comfortable with Putin. He has made that more than clear. And he is comfortable with China’s Xi Jinping, whom he likes to call “my good friend.” Perhaps coincidentally, Putin and Xi met in Beijing on the eve of the G7, acting like besties, and signing $3 billion worth of nuclear energy deals. Would Trump have preferred to be there rather than in Canada? Very likely. (here)

Ah, that sets the mood and the tone, and on the pond went ...

Of course as noted on The Insiders, the fuss, and the need for urgency, and the false linking of the legislation to the impending by-elections, was pure wedge, but nattering "Ned" is still intent on picking a fight with the Chinese ...

… which of course is the classic wedge, since the necessary legislation being in place will have diddly-squat to do with what happens in the by-elections.

But the pond promised a punch line, and here it comes, after much nattering ...

Yes, it's classic, hand-wringing, anxiety-stricken "Ned". After shouting at clouds at great length, and demanding the Chinese get off our lawn, Ned moans "will they work and will they be effective?"

And perhaps that's because he knows they won't work and won't be effective.

And how does the pond know this?

Well nattering "Ned" works for a foreign owner, an owner who in the United States actively worked for the election of the Donald and now conspires on a daily basis to keep that monarch safe …

And said monarch has a deep love of autocratic powers, and admires autocrats of the Putin and Xi kind, and would love to emulate them …

Is it possible to keep Australia's democracy safe from the Murdochian reptiles who have taken the United States into uncharted territory and the madness of King Donald?

Not bloody likely …

Meanwhile, as everyone knows, once the hive mind gets an idea in to its head, everyone has to join in the crusade.

Come on down bromancer ...

Of course it's a lesser piece - it hasn't been blessed by a Lobbecke for starters and so lacks cult status - but when the pond gets bloody minded, it sometimes runs the bromancer just for the heck of it.

And once again the ironies here are wonderfully rich. The pond needs only to mention the shorthand summary at Axios here …

...The Trump administration's $1 billion penalty deal with Chinese telecom giant ZTE — which has repeatedly violated U.S. sanctions against Iran and North Korea and is seen by the Pentagon as a threat to national security — has some in Congress fuming. Why it matters: President Trump has consistently promised to be a hardliner on China, but several lawmakers from both sides of the aisle argue the administration's willingness to cut a deal with ZTE shows a flagrant disregard of the advice given by Trump's intelligence and defense officials in return for an on-again, off-again pursuit of a trade deal with China.

And now, suitably prepared, it was time to plunge in ...

Uh huh, and meanwhile, the Donald does the dance with Xi, and the US Murdochians do the dance with the Donald, and the pond is left wondering what alternative universe it inhabits ...

Actually, the pond understands what they're talking about in the United States. The result of Fox News relentlessly supporting the Donald, followed by a feeble attempt at some sort of pushback …

The Senate bill, brought by Democrats and Republicans, would restore the penalties placed on ZTE for violating US sanctions and once again ban American companies from doing business with it and another major Chinese firm, Huawei Technologies. The legislation would also prohibit the government from subsidising ZTE, Huawei, or any affiliates and subsidiaries as a way of getting around export controls. (The Independent, here).

Will the bromancer get around to the Murdochian fox in the henhouse?

Yes, fundamentally, the Murdochians have helped put in place the Donald and are now busy sustaining him, and at the same time, they control a large section of the Australian media landscape …which is why the pond finds it hard to get excited about the war with China, what with the chairman probably still nursing the bitterness arising from his epic failure to do business with the Chinese ...

It might get even harder than the bromancer thinks, at the first whiff of the Australian economy tanking, thanks to the Donald and his deeds … but at least the pond was now well-prepared for an afternoon nap …

And so for a final word on the state of Western Civilisation …

 In place of those thousands of words of tosh from nattering "Ned" and the bromancer, one snap does the job, and we have the Murdochians in no small part to thank for the situation so tidily illustrated …

Follow the link to check out the Norman Rockwell jokes.

And that's worth a supplementary cartoon or two ...