In which the bromancer returns to the pond, a sure sign of a new maturity ...

Naturally the reptiles were all over the ABC, and the notorious files, and ASIO turning up, and all the rest of it ...

Would the reptiles allow petty jealousy to get in the way of a big story? What an outrageous suggestion ...

Just kidding, of course they were going to do their best to ignore it. Celebrate the ABC's weird luck? Why not poke out an eye instead?

But to be fair, the reptiles did call on expert commentary some way down the digital page ...

Oh fucketty fuck, how they still love him ...

And now before proceeding the pond must honour a couple of try-hard reptiles. 

Only a few days ago, the king of motoring journalism was advising that electric cars were useless and nobody wanted them ... and now suddenly this day in an EXCLUSIVE the sky is falling in ...

And it would be remiss of the pond not to note this splendid effort by the merrittorious Merritt ...

Tackling rorting and corruption is incipient authoritarianism? Only in reptile la la land could there be such a thing as a Merritt badge...

And so to the reptile story of the day, which has been building in the reptiles since yesterday, when of all people, the Bomber was wheeled back out, dusted off, and paraded at the top of the page ...

Oh and Cory was there too, and that mention of beautiful clean coal by the Donald shouldn't be overlooked ... and along with all that came a crooning, carolling steward of truth and hope ...

But the pond held its fire. The real action was sure to come this morning, and sure enough ...

Talk about a trifecta. 

There's the steward heralding a new moment, and the demonic climate alarmist Al Gore demonised yet again - well played Adam of the garden of Eden - and at last, the bromancer ready to take his place in the pond pages ...

It will be noted in both the bromancer splashes that there's no sign of hesitation, there's no question mark, there's no hint of uncertainty, as might be signalled with a question and a question mark, A sign of growing maturity?

The reptiles live in hope - some might say delusion - that the Donald will change and grow on the job, but the reality is that seventy year olds rarely manage to reinvent themselves. Or so the pond has closely observed ...

But then the bromancer once thought that the onion muncher had the capacity to evolve, so the capacity for delusion is strong in this one, and that's why the pond welcomes back the bromancer with open arms ...

Naturally rather than brood, the pond will seize the moment to run a few relevant cartoons ...

There's no point in arguing with the bromancer.

In a week or two, the pond will see what there is to be seen, and in rare rational moments, the bromancer probably realises this too ...

But for the moment his job is to extract hope, turn it into pap and feed it to the lizard Oz readership. and he diligently beavers away at his noble work ...

The moment you read the bromancer saying that the border wall is a sensible solution, you realise how barking mad, how strong, are the delusions that grip the reptiles ... as if a border wall is going to stop attempts to get people and drugs into the United States ...

Why not just fly in and overstay your visa, as a substantial number do ... why not just ship your drugs by air or sea, as Foreign Policy noted here ... and remember the postal service is still relatively efficient ...

But the pause to ponder Guantanamo provides room for a couple more cartoons ...

And so to the final gobbet of undiluted bromancer ...

Such a stupid man ... so infallibly, intrinsically, optimistically, inherently stupid ... so blindly and willingly so, so infinitely capable of showing off his stupidity, the bromaner truly is a wonder and a marvel for the ages ... a gormless Delphic oracle, seeing signs and foretellings, and clutching at the "may" in "may be maturing" as a way out when the next shithole hits the fan ... and all from a single speech, as if saying it is so and thus, makes it so and thus ...

For some reason the pond was reminded of Kafka's story of China and the great wall, available on one translation here ...

The pond will skip the bits about the building of the wall, and settle for this excerpt ...

Indeed, indeed, the pond isn't sure about the empress drinking the blood in lengthy gulps, but the pond has heard that the latest emperor fucked a porn star ... and then paid hush money to silence her ...

Or did he fuck a lump of coal? And the lobby groups went into ecstasy ...

Who knows, it's all so strange, exotic, weird, alien and distant ... and yet the pond has it on good authority that the emperor did fuck a lump of coal, and that's why the reptiles keep humping the lumps they carry with them everywhere ... because there's nothing like a lump of clean coal in the pocket to keep the reptiles in a state of onanistic excitement ...

Go on immortal Rowe, show the pond it's true, before anyone can rush off to gain more Rowe insights here ...