The pond's exhausted; the poor reptiles look exhausted too, what with the unceasing, unrelenting uproar in the herpetarium ...
Was it only yesterday that Shanners was hinting at war?
Only a day and the war has come ...
Everybody and his dog was in on the fight, like a couple of shearers who'd stepped out the back of the now world-renowned Maguires ... and no one was safe, as our Gracie gave Junie the what for ...
That take Junie. And look, there's the oscillating fan spinning wildly in the wind ...
Shanners chipped in with more ...
And the dog botherer and the Overington were at the top of the opinion page ...
Did someone mention Tamworth?
Of course they did, this is heartland stuff, and the pond is from the heartland, so of course it must pay heed, of course it must be distracted ...
Sure Polonius did his best to distract by having a laugh at Malware the puritan ...
... but this is Tamworth, once centre of the known universe.
Now the barbarians are at the gates, the hordes are rampaging through the streets. Can someone, anyone, understand that this is now so dire that it feels like the very last days of Rome?
The pond is so glad you asked. Come on down nattering "Ned", show us your hysteria ...
Reeks of the last days of Rome! Civil war!
And never mind that the last days of Rome didn't actually involve civil war!
Still, as the pond noted recently, things are really grim when nattering "Ned" Kelly runs out of words ... and today he ran out again ...
Instead of reams of tree-killer musings, Ned kept it short ...with only a par of history lessons!
Thank the long absent lord the reptiles found room for the CV! Rome might have fallen, the barbarians might be in charge, but keep the CV polished. You never know when the next emperor might need a little help ...
But it left the pond feeling more-ish, in the sense of hunger rather than invaders of Spain, so naturally the pond turned to the dog botherer ... and naturally the dog botherer nipped at the heel of his one-time master ...
Oh come now, it's not that bad, surely ...
Hmm, that's a truck nuts (or if you will tuck balls, bumper nuts, bumper balls, cargo nads, drive-thru danglers, trucksticles, hitchnuggets, highway hangers or bumper bollocks) image too far, thanks to Rowe and with more Rowe here ...
The knackery really might be calling, as the dog botherer calls for the sort of planning that made the Iraq war and the Utegate saga such stunning successes ...
Well yes, but this is the Malware who has delivered a totally fucked up NBN to the nation... planning, what's that?
And now to the final gobbet, and a sure sign that the reptiles themselves are in turmoil ...
Forget that talk of Barners as a kind of sunspot cancer ... the pond left those ringlets at the bottom for a purpose.
You see, the reptiles left off the dog botherer's CV ... the short two liner that tells you the dog botherer takes an unashamedly rationalist approach to national affairs ...
The one that reminds you that it's unashamedly rationalist to be a dinkum Oz coal lover, oi, oi, oi, and a widely acclaimed expert climate denialist of the first water ... the one that blathers of "climate change indulgences" as if science was some kind of medieval Catholic form of spiritual blackmail ...
They left it off? Yes, it's the last days of Rome, it's civil war, the barbarians are at the gates, it's a catastrophe, a disaster ...etc etc etc ...
You see, there's still much coal loving to do, and climate science to deny, and there's Barners, always stepping into a cow pat ...
Well the pond is over it, the pond is over the ruination of Tamworth, when it's much more important to get on with ruining the world (and Iraq if you've got a spare moment) ..
No wonder there's 8,000 plus, and more joining by the moment, signing the petition for Barners to go ...
Mother of mercy, could this be the end of little Barners?
How is that fair, with him having done so much to snatch back attention, away from the Donald and his romp with a porn star?
Remember, just say no ...
Oh yes, that'll do nicely, with more papal pleasures here ... as the pond swears that with an ounce of luck, the next post will have nothing whatsoever to do with Barners ...
Doggy B: "... what should have been the irrelevant personal shenanigans of just one MP "
ReplyDeleteAnd, pray tell, who was it that turned the "shenanigans of just one MP" into a national disaster ? Who blew this up way past any semblance of sense or sensibility ?
Anyway, I thought the thing was that by his "ineptness" Mal Trumble had rescued Carners Barners by uniting the Nats (or is that gNats) behind him.
Hi DP
ReplyDeleteLike anyone else who's spent any time in Tamworth, i'm proud to see it's once again recognised as the power-centre of Australia. However, while I'd agree that Maguires Hotel deserves its world-wide reputation (I've drunk there a few times), it's named after a long-ago publican, Joe Maguire, and has had that name for several decades. It has no connection with Barnaby's very generous mate, Greg Maguire, who owns the Powerhouse Hotel - confusing, no? Personally I always liked Maguires other old nickname, "The Sheep Shit Inn", earned from its proximity to the old, long-gone sale-yards. Now _that_ is Tamworth Culture!
I'm a bit surprised I've not seen John Bergin's name crop up more in all this, as Campion's ex-fiance. Barnyard maintains that he and and Campion weren't "a couple" until after she left Matt Canavan's office, the best part a year later, but the timing of the cancellation of the Bergin-Campion marriage is ... interesting.
ReplyDeleteNow, there are many reasons why a couple might break up that have nothing to do with trading a solid 8.5 for a fifty year old boozy fat fuck, but the timeline raises questions.
May 2016 - Campion starts working for Joyce
August 2016 - Campion splits with Bergin. She and the Beetrooter "become friends"
November 2016 - Campion moves to Canavan's office
(...etc)
July 2017 - Campion moves from Canavan's office to made-up job in Drum's office.
So did they break up and Barners was Vikki's rebound root? Or did BJ's BJs break up that couple as well? Or none of the above?
Now, TBH, I don't really care that much about the sordid private details, but they do go to the timing and motivations of some of the public things going on here. Barnyard's conflicts run a little deeper if they'd been shagging for months before her first parachute job, compared to becoming "a couple" months afterwards. And I would venture, Matteo Canavano has some questions to answer about running interference for Barnavikki (celebrity couples need their hybrid tag, you know), and more particularly, what it was worth to him...